When we talk about Love.
I nicked this nifty title from one of my favorite collections of the works of Raymond Carver because I like the way the nine little words can displace so much water and bear so much freight. I like how economically it speaks to the kind of tragedy any species would be heir to if it was so oddly constructed that it could not even be sure what it was talking about when discussing something as elemental as love.
No, this isn’t a dating column, (although having read my blog lease, down in the fine print it sez quite clearly that “Each blogger must at least once offer his or her unsolicited advice on the Art of the Hook-up in such a manner as is guaranteed to piss off one and all.” So since it's the law, I just so happen to have been noodling around with such a thing. And it’s just about done.)
Instead, this is a short piece on the vital importance of Defining Terms.
Because in my experience, there really are only two ways to profitably dispute an issue.
The first is to contend – based on a set of agreed-upon rules – before a putatively neutral third party. You both make your best case, and you both abide by the decision of the judge. This is how every contest from trials by jury, to the Olympics to peanut-league baseball is supposed to be decided.
A foul ball is a foul ball , because we already all agreed what a foul looks like and what happens when one gets chipped off into the stands.
The second way is to actually stake your own dogma on the outcome. Where each party agrees to a set of reasonable conditions under which they would acknowledge that they’re wrong and are willing to re-examine their beliefs. This way is a lot harder and demands rigorous honesty, and it’s how scientists make their way in the world.
It’s also why Fundy’s hate science.
But however imperfect they may be, both methods depend on an agreed-upon set of definitions and principles. Without some common language that sets out what a “tree” is, what a “house” is and what “love” looks like, we cannot communicate, much less argue about anything.
Sidebar: Once upon a time, while I was waiting to pick up my ex after work, I heard a self-described Christian Conservative woman explain that while she could not bring herself to support abortion, she could agree to a right to contraception.
“OK,” I thought to myself, “she’s a Fundy, but she sounds somewhat less hopelessly doltish that every other Fundy I’ve ever heard. Hmmm. Tell me more, Goodwife.”
And the interview went on, and the interviewer said something to the effect that Mrs. Jesus was probably OK with condoms then, if she was cool with contraceptives.
“Oh, no,” she interrupted. “I do not approve of condoms.”
Sponge?
No.
IUD?
No.
The Pill?
No.
Jelly?
No.
Smuckers?
No.
Why?
“Well,” Mrs. Jesus explained, “all of those are just different kinds of abortion. All of them interfere with the Will of the Lord.”
So WTF do you mean by “contraception?”
“Abstinence, of course” she clarified. “Anything else is a sin.”
And there you go; Mrs. Jesus had momentarily stealthed into the “potentially reasonable” category by just redefining a single word out of its common usage and into her own, deranged meaning.
“Sure, I’m in favor of snuggly puppies…as long as ‘snuggly’ means ‘invasion’ and ‘puppies’ means ‘Syria’.”
End sidebar.
So looming in the shadows for me is always this: what sort of sub-humans must Republicans be that would allow them to feel such a 100-mile-high rage over Bill Clinton and blowjobs…and feel nothing whatsoever over the myriad high crimes, plunder, graft, lethal cronyism, endless lies and outright treason carried out three inches in front of their noses, in broad daylight, by the highest officials in the United States government.
Certainly the typical Republican voter is some kind of fucktard cocktail; two-parts retard, one-part bigot, pour over bad religion, serve with a side of Rush and keep drinking until you are actually stupid enough to believe a single word that this Administration says.
A necessary but not sufficient explanation. I mean you can scream that 2+2 = 22 all you want, but when you are forced to face incontrovertible proof that you are just Dead Fucking Wrong, what gives you the juice to just keeping running Wile E. Coyote-like further and further off the cliff?
The answer, I would argue, is that Republicans have a radically different definition of Right and Wrong than the rest of us humans.
Now for the epistemologically pure at heart, let’s stipulate that “Right and Wrong” and “True and False” are not the same things, but with regard to the GOP value system I’d argue that one can – and often does – proxy for another (separate and apart from the fact that Republicans have an absolute fetish for wildly unrelated or tortured-to-the-point-of-weeping factoids. They line ‘em up and leap toadishy between them as if lumps of contextless datum “proves” anything.) And like the utterly deranged Christopath with the reasonable tone of voice, to understand the argument they are making – and why their heads aren’t positively exploding at the complete hypocrisy and moral perversity of their positions – you have to consider what they count as “Right” and “True” in the Republican Universe.
And to understand that, this is not a party of rugged individualists. Of Mavericks. Of Iconoclasts.
Despite all of their gun-slingin’ blather and Reagan Cowboy Idolatry, to judge by the only measure that counts -- their votes, their hearts, thier hates, their rhetoric and their day-to-day actions -- Republicans behave in every measurable way (and this is true of every Republican I know ) in a way that is eerily and precisely the opposite of every one of their foundational myths and principles.
You have to realize that most Republicans are slaves.
Happy slaves.
Or at least slaves who are kept so terrified at the propect of thinking for themselves that they have learned to credibly mimic happiness at being servile. Who can tell?
It’s kinda like a Fucktard Turing Test: the result are the same whether they’re really thralls, or just faking it really well. And in the end, the are nothing but a pack of order-taker. Dogma bureaucrats (Shall we call them “Dogmarats?”) who do not know how to function outside of a rigid hierarchy.
They like Order. They like Discipline. They like shiny, martial displays. They are the pecksniffing Leviticans –- rules-crazed Literalists, either ideologically, or Biblically, or both -- who also yearns for a harsh and exacting God to crush anyone who is unlike them…and who will reward them on the basis of how perfectly they obey the commands of the Dear Leader.
So to people that value prostration and loyalty to the Dear Leader above all else, what is the measure of “Right and Wrong” and “True and False”?
And doesn’t that question, when phrased clearly, almost answer itself?
To such as these, who measure the “rightness” of their position by how deeply they kneel, The Truth must always be whatever the Dear leader says it is. And the “Right” is bottomless fealty to the Dear Leader no matter what he says. No matter how much he lies.
Without their Master telling them what the think, the Republican is lost and rudderless, and there is no fate more terrifying to them than to be cast adrift and confused with no whip-hand to kiss and no boot to lick.
It’s not that they hate facts or science or reality per se, it is that they are chattel, and the measure of a good dog is not whether it can do differential calculus, it’s how blindly faithful it is. If the Dear Leader says “facts” are good on Monday, and that the “facts” – like yellow cake in Niger – support the Dear Leader, then All Hail the Factual.
But when the “facts” turn out to be lies on Tuesday and Dear Leader’s story turns out to have been bullshit…well then facts are Bad and people who toss them around are Traitors. And never once in their minds to they even notice the glaring contradiction, because never once did they ever care in the slightest about the facts themselves.
To them, being “Right” has nothing to do with facts at all: to them “Right” is perfect, empty-headed abasement, and will merrily turn like a pack of Rottweiliers on a mean drunk on anyone – even friends -- who rock the boat in the slightest.
Which in why, at the end of the day, I sincerely believe Republicans hate this country and are anxious to destroy it.
Because America is a dream founded on dissent.
On asking hard questions to the men and women who govern us. Of not shutting the fuck up. Of demanding that our civil servants be accountable to you and me. In a Democracy, the citizen is supreme. The government elect disposable and grabbing the government by the lapels and adamantly insisting that they cough up the truth – whatever their party affiliation – is the God given, natural-born right of every, single American.
People who loathe dissent do not deserve to call themselves Americans.
People who smear dissenters do not deserve to call themselves Americans.
People who value a slave’s loyalty over a citizen’s demand for the truth are an embarrassment to real Americans.
People who would burn the Nation down over lies about semen stain’s on one President’s lover’s dress…and yet shrug off and ignore an ocean of innocent blood on another President’s hands have no business calling themselves Americans.
Because anyone who calls willing blindness and the protecting of traitors a virtue, and clarity and honesty a sin, is no American.
They’re a Republican.
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Damn straight Drifty. Keep preaching, you do a damn fine job of it.
Your mention of the warped projections and myths of the Republicans reminds me of another particularly lucid piece I recently read, Phil Agre's Gun Worship and the OKC Bombing".
A small selection from the passage that jumped to mind:
The exact words keep shuffling and recombining, but the formula never varies: attack them by declaring that they are attacking us, encourage hatred against them by suggesting that they hate us, undermine respect for their right to speak by asserting that they are trying to silence us, legitimize the most elaborate campaigns against them by revealing their conspiracies against us, justify our incivility toward them by pouncing on the least sign of disrespect in their treatment of us, and respond to charges like these by adducing a few examples to the effect of "they're really the ones who are doing that to us".
1:38 AM
K- shorter Agre: "projection."
DG- excellent way to begin decorating the new crib. When you said you are working on a piece regarding hooKing-up, I trust you are doing exhaustive field research to support your thesis and conclusions.
8:01 AM
My family (actually both my Mother's and Father's entire families) relocated in the "white flight" in the mid-60's from the Irish South Side of Chicago to DuPage County. And if you ask them why they are republicans, they'll say "because the Democrats want to raise my taxes and give the money to the blacks". Now these are not in the Klan, or Aryan Nation or whatever. They are regular suburban, nice people - volunteers, give to charity, go to Catholic Church, etc.
But they are racists. Not "active" racists burning crosses, but quiet "passive" racists. They ran in fear from their homes on the South Side because they were scared to death. Nixon's "Southern Strategy" works just as well for "white ethnics" and "Soccer Moms". And it works every day for all of the Republicans. They support the war because they are scared of brown people - scared of the "other". They spend their entire lives being scared.
All they need to know is that Black folk support the Democrats, and that's enough to make them vote the other way. They STILL repeat the lies about the "welfare queen with a Cadillac" as if it were true, and as if it were CURRENT.
That's what you have to change if you want to change America. The U.S. treats its' poor worse than all other civilized countries becaue of RACISM. The U.S. is the only civilized country without National Healthcare because of RACISM.
Greed is the core of the Republican beast but racism is the glue that holds it all togther.
8:05 AM
Hmmm... condoms cause a different kind of abortion? Thats a new one on me. Probably comes out of home-schooling. YOU, on the other hand, have created some marvelously logical posts lately. They have helped me explain my viewpoints more coherently. Thank you.
Hey! I could really use the hook-up advice. I haven't had a date in 20 years.
8:05 AM
Maybe, just maybe Harry Reid - or the next Dem to grab their cojones - can get the sheeple to understand your points. Of course anyone who debases their own cognitive capabilities to the point of being "a Republican" may be too far gone for an appeal to reason.
We have to hope...
8:22 AM
You're right and so is Fasteddie -- I recognize both syndromes from my family and acquaintances. However, there is another syndrome that posits that one side is as bad as the other so it doesn't matter who you vote for or how bad the people in power are. These people firmly believe that any government is bad and the people who run it are all crooks. Reason has nothing to do with it.
9:08 AM
I'm not buying what anonymous says. I completely buy the fact the "one side is as bad as the other" is an argument I hear over and over - I just don't buy that even those that spout it - and I'm speaking strictly about those that spout it while in possession of a greater than double digit IQ here - even buy this themselves. I think it is an argument that is simply a handy excuse for not thinking. In America, more and more, we hate thinking - it's **hard work** you know. Dig a little beneath that "either side" argument and you will hit the vein of racism hidden beneath it...
9:19 AM
I've asked the same question. How could you be so outraged over a BJ and ignore Republican corruption?
10:13 AM
I think there is an inherent insecurity in the mind of the average Republican voter - they need to feel better about themselves so they believe that there is only one right way to live and work and worship and be, and anything else is deviant and wrong. It is a political ideology that is based in fear.
10:20 AM
Definition of "stunt": Dems closing down the Senate yesterday to force Republicans to do what they said they'd do 18 months ago: investigate a small pittance of a thing like the lies that got us into war, over 2000 American dead, untold Iraqi deaths, and billions of taxpayer dollars (did you ever know we had that much?) wasted.
Definition of "Republican leadership": a willingness to break the law by holding votes open on the floor for HOURS so they can arm-twist legislators into voting for things that go against the interests of average citizens (the energy bill, drilling in ANWR, etc., etc.).
Yes, defining your terms is crucial.
10:30 AM
Regarding the comments from Anonymous and Punkster.... yes, I see that "oh, politicians are all the same" mentality among way too many people as well.
I'd have to agree more with Punkster. I get the sense that many people who spout the "Republicrats = Demopublicans" line don't genuinely believe it so much as they use it as an excuse to be self-absorbed and not have anything distract them from their PlayStation gaming and watching "American Idol."
And those people play right into the ruling class's hands (and not necessarily even Republicans, either).
10:49 AM
I'll show you politics in America; here it is, right here.
"I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs."
"I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking."
"Hey wait a minute, there's one guy holding up both puppets!"
"Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid! By the way, keep drinking beer, you fucking morons."
- Bill Hicks
11:32 AM
Well done Drifty.
Thank you.
12:20 PM
Damn, you're good.
I think the BJ-->bad; lying to get your country to go to war-->so what? circuitry Republicans have is because their sense of morality has been entirely colonized by their hysteria over sex. There's not much room for outrage over anything else and they're never taught to react to anything else with quite that degree of disgust.
It's a subtle form of mind control, which is why Republicans are such fans of publicly-funded "sex education" that consists mainly of telling you how dangerous and disgusting it is.
12:21 PM
All Republicans are control freaks. They just cannot stand the idea that somebody, somewhere, is breaking "the rules" (however they define the rules) and getting away with it. I have a middle of the road Dem friend whose husband, a Rush fan, gets fanatically bent out of shape if she leaves something out on the kitchen table. He probably has nightmares about it.
Think of the "terrorism shelter" in "Fahrenheit 9/11." Might be the best scene in the whole movie--it's so funny, and yet so sad. That's what Republicans really want, isn't it? To turn the whole country into a big steel isolation tank. No color, no smells, no room to dance, but by god we're safe.
That's why Eddie's parents don't want their tax dollars going to public assistance programs. "Those people" are breaking the rules by not working, yet they still get paid. The outrage: "we have to work to get paid; why don't they?" Never mind that there are no jobs.
So much fear. Also envy, greed, lust (repressed), and assorted other deadly sins. I feel sorry for them. Not that I let my compassion get in the way of fighting back.
1:22 PM
Well done drifty. again. thanks.
2:36 PM
Wile E. Coyote? Na, I haven't mentioned him on my blog in... well, hours.
The end is near. Can you smell the freshly cut hemp? The smell of burning torches? Inhale deeply, my children, down to the lobes. Why it smells... it smells... like Victory.
Ah.
It's been said that nature abhors a vacuum. I think it could be persuavively argued that the same applies to pure, concentrated, unadulterated, weapons-grade evil.
5:03 PM
Beautiful.
5:08 PM
DG,
There is a labratory perfect example of what you're talking about going on today over at The News Blog. I know you checked in over there, but I read several threads. There is a whole lotta stupid goin' on. There is actually one poster, who claims to be a Southern Republican, maintaining that the Southern Strategy is just a conspiracy theory. Unbelievable.
Maybe you can hit the big time and draw trolls like Gilliard does by doing some creative photoshopping?
Selah.
9:48 PM
cagary,
I saw. I't like he hit the fucktard Mother Lode, and lordy are they nuts.
ketemphor,
Thanks
us blues,
And it's energy efficient. So important as the colder month bear down.
drumwolf, Anonymous and Punkster,
Right in the numbers. Hell, I know my party has its share of goofballs in it. Shit, so do my job(s)/school(s) and every church, CBO and charitable organization I've ever joined.
But if one party has some muggers (so to speak), and the other is festooned with murderers (so to speak), and you persist in this "everybody's equally bad" mem, either you're being lazy, or you're running a hidden agenda.
fasteddie,
You just described my Dad, his wire (not both deceased), and half my cousins and uncles. Family lore about "those people" passed down like the good china.
Miss Cellania,
Well, I'm working on advice for nice guys on what they're doing wrong, but I'll do what I can :-).
Molly, NYC/JP/TroutGrrrl/Shakespeare's Sister,
Many thanks, you honey-tongued devils ;-)
Looong work day yesterday (7 a.m. - 9ish), and even longer today and tomorrow, and my pockets are littered with half-finished thoughts.
Fresh baked posts soon.
6:40 AM
Racism, sexism, homophopia, xenophobia - a lot of that can describe the underlying tenets of the current Republican party, but as whoever said that all politicans are liars and thieves, a lot of it comes back to laziness. People who complain about the actions of our government but don't do any simple participation in it (like voting) are just lazy and expect everything to be done for them, not realizing that the goverment needs our participation to function. Remember that it was the conservatives who pounded this anti-government message relentlessly for the past 30 years to get people away from the process of participation in government. Grover Norquist, one the darlings of the far right, was the person who advocated shrinking the government down to the size of a bathtub. I guess that wish literally came true in New Orleans after Katrina.
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It is a good idea to start using enviromentally safe and animal friendly (non-toxic) substitutes when grooming your dog. You must groom your dog's whole body including the legs, tail and underbody if you want to do it right. You must groom certain dogs from the skin outward to truly be effective in taking care of their coat of hair and keeping it healthy. Comb through the unseen healthy hair and remove the shedding hair; this is what most groomers do first before cutting your pet's coat. You must groom some animals all at once, while some other animals have so much hair that it is easier to do a little at a time each day.
http://www.pet-grooming-boarding.info/
3:46 PM
It is a good idea to start using enviromentally safe and animal friendly (non-toxic) substitutes when grooming your dog. You must groom your dog's whole body including the legs, tail and underbody if you want to do it right. You must groom certain dogs from the skin outward to truly be effective in taking care of their coat of hair and keeping it healthy. Comb through the unseen healthy hair and remove the shedding hair; this is what most groomers do first before cutting your pet's coat. You must groom some animals all at once, while some other animals have so much hair that it is easier to do a little at a time each day.
http://www.pet-grooming-boarding.info/
4:43 PM
I think people often overlook the importance of grooming their pets as a way to contribute to their overall good health. Here are just a few more tips on pet grooming. You must groom your pets whole body including the legs, tail, and underbody if you want to do it right.
You must groom certain pets from the skin outward to truly be effective in taking care of their coat of hair and keeping it healthy. Comb through the unseen healthy hair and remove the shedding hair; this is what most groomers do first before cutting your pet's coat. You must groom some animals all at once while some other animals have so much hair that it is esier to do a little at a time each day. You know your pet is well mannerd when it will sit still and alow you or a professional to perform regular grooming and maintenence without any fuss. If you feel you just don't have the time or desire to do it yourself, its time to call the professionals. Your dog will love you for it, and you'll feel great about it too. Hope this was helpful.
You can get more pet grooming tips by visiting my site at #url##
5:21 PM
Some of our comments above may include links that are no longer valid or that do not have a nofollow value. They might very well lead you today to a third party. Therefore,
I ask you, if you would be so kind, to please delete or disregard those
comments.
Many thanks and best wishes,
Iza, Roberto Iza
Muy Señores MÃos:
Algunos de nuestros comentarios incluyen vÃnculos rotos que bien pudieran llevar hoy a una tercera persona. Por tanto, le rogamos, por favor, que los deseche o desestime.
Gracias y recuerdos
Iza, Roberto Iza
8:33 PM
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