Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I can be a real good guy…


…or I can be one real mean sumbitch.


The Ghost of Agnew's Past visits again to predict Tom DeLay's future.


Them clothes got numbers.
Any man forgets his number...
...spends a night in the box.

We got congressional districts.
Any man fucks with the constitution and Texas’ own law to redraw districts to make a permanent GOP majority ...
...spends a night in the box.

We got a real nice Furrin Policy here.
Any man runs around makin’ up his own Furrin Polcy based on Biblical Literalism...
...spends a night in the box.

We got a Department of Homeland Security.
Anybody trying to use Homeland Security troops to run political errands and extort opponents...
...spends a night in the box.

When a school gets shot up and children die, shut your fucking hole.
Anyone decides to hold a press conference and blame a schoolhouse massacre on sex education and teaching evolution...
...spends a night in the box.

Texas has exactly One campaign finance law. The rest of the time it’s Dodge City.
Anyone break that one law because there is no depth so low that you won’t dive even lower...
...spends a night in the box.

Anyone gets caught with Jack Abramhoff’s dick in his mouth...
...spends a night in the box.

We likes our trag’dy private ‘round here.
Anyone gets all up in some family’s private business...
...spends a night in the box.

Get’s between a man an’ his late wife that he’s tryin’ to see off the way she’da wanted...
...spends a night in the box.

Does it just for politics...
...spends a night in the box.

Makes war on judges who don’t bend a knee to him...
...spends a night in the box.

Generally makes like Satan's Chief of Staff, got the morals of Alphonse Capone, wipes his ass with the constitution and still got nerve enough to call hisself a child of God and beat on other folk about how they should be liven'...

Fuck, you get to LIVE in the box.

You got questions, come to me.

I’m Carr, the Floor Walker.

I keep order here

Any man don’t keep order

Spends a night in the box


(OTOH, DeLay’s already got pretty good Prison-Hair, so he’s got that going for him.)

78 comments:

Anonymous said...

lmfao...brilliant. "What we got here is...failure, to communicate!"

Anonymous said...

Tom Delay: a crazy handful of nothin'

Anonymous said...

In it is my great honor to present to you a tribute to the great party of the GOP:
"A Republican Tradition"

(he he)

Anonymous said...

Excellent work, fletch! The tradition lives on indeed. Too bad you couldn't get some footage of McCarthy in there too...

DG- are we having fun yet?

Anonymous said...

We need to make this Carr guy Minority Whip.
I so want to see him take an axe-handle to Santorum ("You eye-ballin' me, son?"...(whack)).

Anonymous said...

Oh, and nice post, Drifty.

Perdita said...

"...you wild, beautiful thing. You crazy handful of nothin'"

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Thanks to Attaturk (http://rising-hegemon.blogspot.com/), I've learned that Jack Abramoff's Prison Bitch Name is Fudge Sucker.

jurassicpork said...

"What we got here is... a failure to give a flying fuck."

I was going to make DeLay one of my top ten Assclowns of the Week for this coming w/e update but I've been unable to stop writing abiut him since I heard the news after work last night. I may have to devote a solo post to him.

It's amazing how deeply the rabbit hole goes down on this. Throw in a gangland hit and a link to the Gambino crime syndicate and you have a ready-made Sopranos episode.

Has anyone else been chuckling and smiling at work for seemingly no reason? I was today and my co-workers must've thought that I was finally losing it. Schadenfreud is a guilty pleasure I admit but it's still a pleasure. Bierce was right about us all along.

(hee hee hee)

Sorry.

Mr. Natural said...

And we will dance joyously on thier graves!

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Goddamn, it is FINE! :o)

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