Tuesday, July 26, 2005

This is what you get…



…when used-car salesmen run your government.

Oh I see; the problem isn’t the lies or the failures.

It’s not having every single predicate for this whole fucking mess kamikaze straight into God's Own Bug Zapper, fall to powder and blow away.

It’s not finding out that every baboon's-ass-rosy-red assessment that these criminals used to slicker a stunned nation of grieving men and women into a Baghdad Tiger Cage was a premeditated lie; a goat staked out at a deadfall to bait us to our doom by dogfuckers that, even now that their lies are exposed, rotting away in the blasting noonday heat for the whole Earth to see, for some inexplicable reason are still worshipped by GOP acolytes like the Sun God?

It’s not that people who committed treason and endangered our national security are given sanctuary in the White House…as if it were the Vatican and they were child molesters.

It’s not that every day we stay in Iraq is another recruiting victory for terrorists.

It’s not that Operation Enduring Clusterfuck hasn’t already been the biggest boon to terrorism in the History of the Universe.

Like Tobacco Executing, cigarettes and lung cancer, when soulless Sanguivores run the shop it’s never the problem that’s the problem, it’s the fucking marketing that’s the problem.

This from the NYT.

U.S. Officials Retool Slogan for Terror War
By ERIC SCHMITT and THOM SHANKER
WASHINGTON, July 25 - The Bush administration is retooling its slogan for the fight against Al Qaeda and other terrorist groups, pushing the idea that the long-term struggle is as much an ideological battle as a military mission, senior administration and military officials said Monday.

In recent speeches and news conferences, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld and the nation's senior military officer have spoken of "a global struggle against violent extremism" rather than "the global war on terror," which had been the catchphrase of choice. Administration officials say that phrase may have outlived its usefulness, because it focused attention solely, and incorrectly, on the military campaign.

Gen. Richard B. Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the National Press Club on Monday that he had "objected to the use of the term 'war on terrorism' before, because if you call it a war, then you think of people in uniform as being the solution." He said the threat instead should be defined as violent extremists, with the recognition that "terror is the method they use."

Although the military is heavily engaged in the mission now, he said, future efforts require "all instruments of our national power, all instruments of the international communities' national power." The solution is "more diplomatic, more economic, more political than it is military," he concluded.

Administration and Pentagon officials say the revamped campaign has grown out of meetings of President Bush's senior national security advisers that began in January, and it reflects the evolution in Mr. Bush's own thinking nearly four years after the Sept. 11 attacks.


By emphasizing to the public that the effort is not only military, the administration may also be trying to reassure those in uniform who have begun complaining that only members of the armed forces are being asked to sacrifice for the effort.

New opinion polls show that the American public is increasingly pessimistic about the mission in Iraq, with many doubting its link to the counterterrorism mission. So, a new emphasis on reminding the public of the broader, long-term threat to the United States may allow the administration to put into broader perspective the daily mayhem in Iraq and the American casualties.

So lets count this down, shall we?

Less than one year ago Dear Leader slimed his way back into office in part by mocking anyone who suggest that the police and courts and diplomacy had a place of prode and prominence in the war on terror. They who, less than a year ago, ridiculed any suggestion that the manly art of statecraft was anything more or less that just that killing everyone that disagrees with you, now say, “future efforts require ‘all instruments of our national power, all instruments of the international communities' national power. The solution is ‘more diplomatic, more economic, more political than it is military.’”…

“Bush’s own thinking” is evolving. Man you know the feces is hitting the cyclotron when you hear anything this close of an admission by anyone inside the Koolaid Factory that Dear Leader might have been wrong. Huzzah! Soon he will discover fire and language and zeroes and hopefully that sacrificing the young and eating their hearts doesn’t actually imbue you with their strength…

The military is getting pissed that the strutting, preening chickenhawks who proudly hold their coats for them while they go off to fight and die are categorically unwilling to put any skin in the game…

The public is starting to wake up and wise up that they have not only been scammed out of their shoes and wallets, but their futures, fortunes, international reputation and epidermis…

What to do?

Quick, Karl, to the Rebranding-mobile!

And may I suggest just a few, just to get the ball rolling?

For the biggest bologna shooter in Bologna Town: "My Bologna has a first name its S-C-O-T-T...".

For PNAC: "I'm a Traitor, he's a Traitor, she's a Traitor, we're a Traitor, wouldn't you like to be a Traitor, too?”

For Manwhore Gannon: “"Choosy Motherfuckers Choose Jeff."

For the deeply confused Ken Mehlman: “"Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't.”

For the GOP Rank and File: “"Promise her anything, but give her Tikrit.”

For Pat Fitzgerald: “Strong than Dirt.”

For failing us all utterly, the dumbass MSM: “"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

For Dear Leader: “"Bacardi & Cola. They get the job done!"

For Gitmo: “"Rendition! Take me away!"

For Kyoto: “"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature!”

For the Yellow Elephants: "Ask any girly-men you happen to see, What's the best tuna? Chickenhawks of the GOP."

For the Administration: “"Look Ma, no principles!"

For Bush 41: “"It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken."

For all-time, Life-Time, Number-One Bush Contributor, Kenny-Boy Lay: “"I liked it so much I fucked the company."

The Yellow Cake State of the Union Speech..and all other WMD lies: “"Raise your hand if you're sure."

To every cocksucker Iraq Apologist: “"Where's the motherfuckin’ beef you lying douchbags??"

For US Army Baghdad Airport Highway: ““Drivers wanted.”

The NYT: “"Ahmad’s news that’ll fit."

For the ones that make Jebus Cry: “Fundamentalism: The antidote for civilization."

For Fat Karl: “Treason? You’re soaking in it!”

And for Iran: "Like Iraq. Ohhhhh, like Iraq."

** (And I had to add this from mac for obvious reasons: ""What happens in Baghdad stays in Baghdad.")

265 comments:

1 – 200 of 265   Newer›   Newest»
lukery said...

you know they are really desperate when they didnt even wait for karen hughes to finish her summer holidays before they started the rebranding.

Anonymous said...

I just arrived here from Gilliard's blog..I am working my way down his links list.
Anyway, it is interesting to see what dear Gen. Myers had to say. He is describing the 3D approach to terrorism (and the whole gamut of international relations): Defence, Diplomacy, and Development. Add and subtract emphasis according to need not ideology and people might not have reason to die.

It took them long enough and at such cost to learn that terrorism is not a military problem and therefore cannot be solved militarily. It remains to be seen exactly how this translates into action, or spin, or were too far up the creek to turn back now.

If anyone is interested, you can try and change a few minds (or just get very creeped out) here:

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There are maybe three or four somewhat decent posters, and the rest are raving bigots from a limited gene pool.

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The Bush Administration......So Round, So Firm, So Fully Packed...with Bullshit!

US Blues said...

Dude, you're watching too much TV! ;-)

jurassicpork said...

The US military: "Have you driven an unarmored Humvee... Lately?"

OK, since BushCo is now willing to admit that this clusterfuck can't be solved with Patriots and SCUD's, bullets, and otrher peoples' blood and guts, what's going to happen to the exisiting military force in Iraq, some of whom are on their third tour?

Funny that they're giving diplomacy another chance, considering that JUST BEFORE THEY PULLED OUT THE UN WEAPONS INSPECTORS, DIPLOMACY WAS WORKING ON SADDAM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING DECADE.

Prof Bible Belt said...

Yeah, well here's the problems:
1. you say "war" people expect progress---their war movies have taught them this. You are either winning or not. So...gotta get rid of that problematic "war" word

2. Yes indeedy! the more vague the better---that's all the rest of the world needs to climb on board our suicide run-away train: remarket the "war"

3, oh, and "war" requires other pesky people to be involved like the electorate and congress

4. and finally...join the Army boys and girls! We are no longer at *war* so that's not a concern!

when you think that you've reached bottom with these people you find that they are still digging....

Anonymous said...

I don't think they are giving up on continuous military action---they are just going to relabel it so everyone feels better!

jurassicpork said...

Good points, all of 'em, Prof. I guess that's why you're the perfessor. Those things never occured to me.

Anyone else think Drifty here is HST reincarnated?

Prof Bible Belt said...

thanks jurassicpork---too much backed up disgust I guess. I heard this all as second-hand NPR reporting this evening and really thought the person telling me was joking. Then I read it and wondered which one of us just passed through the rabbit hole

My problem is that I study historical rhetoric. This particular example is classic Rove. Which makes it stupid, obvious, and probably effective

I'm absolutely sure that Brooks and Tierney will be in a swoon at its sheer audacity Or, as they'll describe it "sensible approach to a serious problem"

christ on a crutch

Fast Eddy said...

"You know you've seriously boned the war when you have to call in the diplomats."

"Morons R Us."

"Better living through high-powered explosive chemistry."

But "Treason? You're soaking in it!" is the very best.

Mr. Natural said...

"Violent extremists"? "terror is the method they use." "evolution in Mr. Bush's own thinking"

Violence? Terror? Wouldn't dropping bombs, missles and misc. cluster bombs on civillians day and night for YEARS on end fill either/both of these? OH WAIT, THAT'S US, WE DON'T DO VIOLENCE AND TERROR!

Evolution in Bush? Get the Christ-cleaing squad in here stat! We don't need no stinking evo in our dear leader!

Driftie, here's to ya, another terriffic rant, duly blogged and linked back to ya!

WHEN THE FECES HITS THE CYCLOTRON IT WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY!

pissed off patricia said...

The magical fairy apparently twanged Iraq and today the talk is let's head out, they're ready to accept bush as their personal savior. So close the Iraq church door, the proselytizing of democracy is done. Mission Accomplished, again.

We have now changed the pig's name from war to struggle, but it is yet a freakin' pig and it is yet covered in shit.

Rove would like all this to place a shadow over his crimes, but I can still see them from here.

jurassicpork said...

I've gone into this at some length on my blog today.

darrelplant said...

I've updated my war length comparison at

http://www.darrelplant.com/

to reflect the new nomenclature, although I guess now that the language is inoperative it's really like comparing apples and oranges to know that the war on terror -- excuse me -- global struggle against violent extremism is longer than World War II.

MAC said...

"What happens in Baghdad stays in Baghdad."

They wish.

jurassicpork said...

To paraphrase an old Way and Means Committee canard, "a thousand lives here, a thousand lives there... pretty soon it begins to add up to real casualties."

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