Then Satan skull-fucked me…

…and his Jimmy-stick was this big.

How else to explain so many wormy ideas packed inside this dolt’s pointy head?

William Pryor: Unfit to Serve. Part I.

Rising like another Hero of Intolerance from the Imbecile Christian People’s Republic of Alabama and combining the least appetizing aspects of Cardinal Riecheleau and Cotton Mather...comes William H. Pryor, Jr.: the Bush recess appointment to the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

Pryor was anointed to the court by Dear Leader during one of those smuggled-in-in-the-middle-of-the-night-judge-and-beer-runs but he still needs to be confirmed by the Senate, which makes him one of the “Gang of Ten”. The ten nominees that are so bugfuck Ultra Right wing that the GOP could not ram through the first time. In toto, they got 96% of their people through. 96%...and they are whining and sniveling about how unfair it all is. How the Evil Liberal Media is beating up “people of faith.”

Look! Look! See the injustice of it all. Look at my wounds. See my righteous stigmata!

So as a brief Public Service aside, lets deconstruct that filthy “people of faith” tripe before continuing:

For this argument to be true – that the Vast Liberal Cabal is waging war against the devout --must mean that all the other nominees were atheists, right? Or Wiccans? Or Animists? Because all of the rest of them made it right past the Siege Guns of the Ungodly Liberals without a quibble.

And only these ten are “people of faith”, which is why there’s such a ruckus. So either 96% of Bushes nominees were actually and shockingly inimical to Christianity, which the fucknut Shining Path Republicans insist is the Number One Priority among Liberals, and which one would have assumed the fucknut Shining Path Republicans would have opposed with that same unblinking Cerberus-like rabid vigor they bring to every other fight…

….or the rest of Bushes nominees were just as devout as anyone else, in which case the fucknut Shining Path Republicans are just as big a bunch of lying douchebags as we always thought the were.

This kind of reasoning and these kind of people are what you get when you squeegee out Beelzebub’s athletic supporter and centrifuge out the solids. And wouldn’t it be just fucking peachy if someone in the MSM would actually pay attention and notice and maybe report on little contradictions like this?

End of Public Service Message.

So this honey-bucket full of Dobson/Robertson/Falwell marionettes run the courts, the press, the government and the corporate structure of the richest most powerful nation on the face of the Earth...but on the rare occasion that the stink of their moral decomposition catches the wind and gets noticed by the Neutered Press, the GOP is forced to scuttle out into the light and thus begins The Killdeer Strategy: Attack and distract.

Attack: The “People of faith” drivel or ripping Newsweek a new one.

Distract: Don Rumsfeld daily “what you know, you don’t know if you knew what you we knew when we went with the Army we had, y’know?” bibbling or the “What Iraqi nukes? Nobody ever said nuthing about no Iraqi nukes ” Easter egg hunt or Tom DeLay’s faux outrage at being mocked by fictional characters on a TV show about fictional crimes being investigated by fictional detectives.

If this sounds familiar to you...you probably saw it on the Nature Channel:

Unique characteristics of the Killdeer” (courtesy of the Hinterland Who’s Who website.)

Killdeer are adept at distracting intruders from their nests or young. They employ one set of tactics against browsing animals that stroll unintentionally toward the nest of young and a quite different set against those that may wilfully do real harm, such as dogs, foxes, and people. An adult bird will run with outstretched wings or fly directly toward any browsing animal that appears on the verge of walking into a nest or stepping on a chick. There are recorded instances of a cow being struck on the muzzle. Once the intruder has been turned away, the Killdeer will allow it to graze peacefully nearby.

A different defense must be used against a deliberate threat, and this defense can be used by either parent. If flying around and calling loudly does not drive the intruder away, then one or the other of the parents performs a distraction display, commonly called a broken-wing act or injury feigning. The bird crouches on the ground with one wing spread and hanging as though broken. It flops about in a piteous manner, at the same time crying kill-dee-dee-ee as though in mortal pain. The intruder is drawn towards the seemingly wounded or helpless bird, which always manages to move away, decoying the intruder farther and farther from the nest of young birds. When the enemy is well away from its intended prey, the adult Killdeer miraculously recovers and flies off. During this display, the young will have stayed perfectly still or will have scattered in all directions. In either case, they will be almost impossible to find.

Next up – if the Gods of stolen bandwidth are a smilin’ tomorrow– William Pryor’s Record. And yes, once you look through the highlights with anything like an objective eye, you can't help but ask yourself what the fuck is really up here. Pryor really is out-and-out nuts; so bad that one starts to wonder of this is really some Stalin-inspired loyalty test Bush dreamed up to see just how far up the ass of the lunatic Right the gutless, craven Moderate Republicans are willing to crawl.

Paging David Brooks.

My guess is they won’t stop until they make it all the way up past the uvula, and start tapping on the back of James Dobson's little, ferret teeth.