Friday, April 01, 2005


Missing cookies? What other explaination could there be? Posted by Hello


This (from the odious NewsMax) or some variant thereof has been floating around like algae bloom on the Randall Terry Republican sites for days: “A certified nursing assistant who cared for Terri Schiavo in 1997 filed a sworn affidavit in the case stating that she was able to feed Schiavo normally on multiple occasions - but that husband Michael Schiavo would allow only a feeding tube.”

This is the same person that alleged that Michael Schiavo complained that "that bitch" wasn't dead yet, that she could feed Terri Schaivo Jello, that she sat up, was attentive, etc. In other words, the headwater for a lot of Wingnut Bullet Points.

The Face that launched a Thousand Crayola-Scrawled Signs.

Now a credulous four-year-old or an average GOP voter might find this persuasive – like missing cookies and milk on Christmas Day “proves” Santa Claus was taking his Elf Union Authorized 15-minute break in your living room – but what about what Paul Harvey used to call, “The rest of the story?”

Glad you asked.

This from Media Matters:
“[Judge] Greer dismissed Iyer's charges, noting that they -- along with a similar affidavit given by Heidi Law, another nurse who formerly took care of Terri Schiavo -- were "incredible to say the least" and that "[n]either in the testimony nor in the medical records is there support for these affidavits as they purport to detail activities and responses of Terri Schiavo." From Greer's decision:
The remaining affidavits deal exclusively with events which allegedly occurred in the 1995-1997 time frame. The court feels constrained to discuss them. They are incredible to say the least. Ms. Iyer details what amounts to a 15-month cover-up which would include the staff of Palm Garden of Lago Convalescent Center, the Guardian of the Person, the Guardian ad Litem, the medical professionals, the police and, believe it or not, Mr. and Mrs. Schindler. Her affidavit clearly states that she would "call them (Mr. and Mrs. Schindler) anyway because I thought they should know about their daughter." The affidavit of Ms. Law speaks of Terri responding on a constant basis. Neither in the testimony nor in the medical records is there support for these affidavits as they purport to detail activities and responses of Terri Schiavo. It is impossible to believe that Mr. and Mrs. Schindler would not have subpoenaed Ms. Iyer for the January 2000 evidentiary hearing had she contacted them as her affidavit alleges.”

Paging John Doggit.

This sort idiocy rests at the bewildering heart of the Hard Right.

Why is the Hard Right always so predictably, drooling eager to believe such a torrent of half-assed nonsense, half-truths or outright lies? Why they are so invincibly incapable of even a moment’s reflections on the faint possibility that they might be wrong?

Why they are so willing to believe any ragged, crazy shit that is pulled out of Limbaugh's or DeLay's or Coulter's nether-regions like The Amazing Fecal-o producing mile after mile of shit-stained handkerchiefs out of thin air?

The answer is Fundamentalism: the belief that the Bible is the literal and inerrant Word of God. To believe that One Big Lie that under-girds an entire cult movement that, in turn, owns and operates the Republican Party, you must be willing to trade your soul and free will for faux certainty. You must declare yourself openly and eternally at war with Science, Fact and Truth and once you travel down that road, you are lost. Well and truly fucked.

Then again, without the slack-jawed credulity of the Big Dumb Right, endlessly emptying their change-purses into the coffers of Solar-Corona-Haired Poltroons and getting their mental health treatments by the Laying of Hands on the teevee and praying extra special hard during Jack Van Impe...

... the market for Petroleum-Based Jesus Trinkets, Virgin Mary Douche (For that Immaculately Fresh Feeling) and Velvet Artwork would surely crash...

...hucksters and whores by the thousand would be driven from their Mega Churches and 700 Club sofas and Congressional Seats into cardboard boxes under bridges, begging for scraps. Reduced to turning Two Dollar Indulgence Tricks on the street-corners. Leaning into open car windows at three in the morning, hawking their shabby wares: “Hey Baby! Wanna do some Forgiveness?”...

...the feeble, feudal economy that will be Bush’s real legacy will well and truly collapse. Chinese Bankers will begin sending their shirts to Peoria for dry cleaning (“Ancient Illinois Secret my ass!”), ‘cause hey, can’t beat ‘Murrica for cheap Fundy labor...

...and the Terrorists will finally win.

So on second thought, keep on keepin’ on, PVS Fundamentalists.
And Remember: Jeb and George Bush Stabbed Sweet Baby Jesus in the Back.

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hadn't seen you around the Mighty E and wondered if you'd gone off and started your own space. And here you are! Best of luck in your bloggy adventure, driftglass.

--Res Ipsa Loquitor

Anonymous said...

Great screed! Nice to see you with your own blog, driftglass. An excellent point about fundie beliefs, little lies aren't noticed after the biggie. Best of luck, I'll be reader for sure.

US Blues

Anonymous said...

"I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken."

-- Oliver Cromwell

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Now there's a vigourous beginning!!!

Welcome to the intrepid world of blogdom. Insomnia, panicked search for material that's topical but not overdone, and the looming sense that everything you're writing is crap.

Oops, did I type that out loud?

*ahem*

Nice new blog smell. They should bottle that...

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Res Ipsa Loquitor,
Wow. My first visitor. How sweet...and a gentleman always remembers his first :-)

US Blues,
Thanks tons. Very weird being out here in the wind.

boadicea,
Insomnia, panic and crap-fear: been carrying them around for years anyway, so why not make them work for a living?

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