Thursday, April 21, 2005

BoBo pleads for “compromise”. Again.


Just hold still and we’ll skin you with a better knife.

Short Brooks is Same-As-It-Ever-Was Brooks: Let’s cooperate. You bend over a trifle further and we’ll screw you a bit less brutally.

This from today’s NYT where, owing to forces that I find incomprehensible, David Brooks still draws a paycheck for tasks completely unrelated to filling the vending machines up with fresh cookies and HoHo’s at night. And, yes, I add in a word or two.

"Justice Harry Blackmun did more inadvertent damage to our democracy than any other 20th-century American. When he and his Supreme Court colleagues issued the Roe v. Wade decision, they set off a cycle of political viciousness and counter-viciousness that has poisoned public life ever since, and now threatens to destroy the Senate as we know it."

No you tube worm – the Senate is threatened by your party. By your extremists. By your lunatics. Every Party has its nutjobs, Brooksie, but not every Party hands them the keys to the vehicle and then points a webbed finger at the Other Party and shouts “J'Accuse!” you truckling little pecksniff.

Maybe you didn’t get the message, or maybe you think hawking the same, old GOP Thalidomide in a world populated by the offspring it helped cripple is still a successful marketing plan, so let me say this reeeeal slooow so that there’s no misunderstanding: Mixing carbolic acid and lemonade and selling it to children as a “compromise” is not a compromise: it’s settling for poisoning children at a slightly slower pace that you had hoped for.

Go peddle “capitulation to lunatics as a square deal” on eBay, ‘cause we ain’t buying any.

"When Blackmun wrote the Roe decision, it took the abortion issue out of the legislatures and put it into the courts. If it had remained in the legislatures, we would have seen a series of state-by-state compromises reflecting the views of the centrist majority that's always existed on this issue. These legislative compromises wouldn't have pleased everyone, but would have been regarded as legitimate."


“The centrist majority?” Just like slavery was settled amicably by the Missouri Compromises II, III and IV?

Or was the Jim Crow Apartheid that rotted away in the Red States for a hundred years after the Civil War whisked away by a “series of state-by-state compromises” and I just didn’t notice? Segregation? The ban on interracial marriage? And the ban on teaching Evolution?

Transpose any other basic civil rights issue onto the template BoBo proposes as the reasonable alternative to Kwazy Judicial Activism and the texture and density of the shit that he is packed with jumps right out at you.

I dunno which is more amusing: the thought that BoBo actually believes the diarrhea the comes bubbling out of his pie-hole, or that he thinks people just don’t notice the Giant Fundy Dildo rammed so ballistically up his nether regions that its chubby head actually pops right out of his pie-hole like a Jack-Chick-in-the-Box and says "Howdy Cowboy".

A dildo – by the way – it would actually be illegal for BoBo to purchase in the fine state of Alabama. Thanks to their level-headed “ centrist majority.”

"Instead, Blackmun and his concurring colleagues invented a right to abortion, and imposed a solution more extreme than the policies of just about any other comparable nation."
No they articulated a right to privacy (do you ever get a single thing right?) which is as implicit in every other right mentioned in the Constitution as is the right to breathe, which the Founders also did not specify, because I guess they never anticipated the existence of the New York Times, or that it would one day decide that a myopic Sugar Glider should have its own column.

Then there’s more Peevish White Noise strung together to form sentences. Phrases like “right and left” and “pro-life or pro-choice” and “tit-for-tat”: the “Tyranny of False Bisection.” Both sides -- the barking mad and the reasonable -- somehow both equally wrong. Idiot.


Every few years another civilizing custom is breached. Over the past four years Democrats have resorted to the filibuster again and again to prevent votes on judicial nominees they oppose. Up until now, minorities have generally not used the filibuster to defeat nominees that have majority support. They have allowed nominees to have an up or down vote. But this tradition has been washed away.
In response, Republicans now threaten to change the Senate rules and end the filibuster on judicial nominees. That they have a right to do this is certain. That doing this would destroy the culture of the Senate and damage the cause of limited government is also certain.
..."

And again, BoBo fills up his incredibly pricey column inches with a lot of empty puling and cavorting and zero-sum-game masturbating on the glories to compromise and centrism…before he gets to the razor he has tried to hide in the candy bar.

BoBo, do you know what Centrism actually looks like? It looks remarkably like the Democratic Party with Bill Clinton in the White House. Center-right, to be accurate and y’all even got NAFTA, GAT, Welfare Reform and a bunch of other goodies from the Eternal Republican Wish List thrown in to the deal.

And as a big “Thank You”, you blocked 35% of his judicial nominees (a little statistic that Mr. Fair ‘n Balanced very conspicuously omitted because it made his whole thesis look like the puddle of damp excreta that it actually is), and are now raving that Dems blocking 4% is somehow an unprecedented breaching of “another civilizing custom”.

"The fact is, the entire country is trapped. Harry Blackmun and his colleagues suppressed that democratic abortion debate the nation needs to have. The poisons have been building ever since. You can complain about the incivility of politics, but you can't stop the escalation of conflict in the middle. You have to kill it at the root. Unless Roe v. Wade is overturned, politics will never get better. "
“Fact is” you wormy little Quisling, the Dems spent the 90’s compromising their fool asses off – precisely like it says right here on the prescription that Dr. BoBo wrote out for us.

For their troubles they got Newt Gingrich and his GOPAC Little Red Hatespeech Book launching a carefully planned, deliberately executed verbal blitzkrieg again the Democratic Party. A coordinated national campaign of that came with a detailed list of words (Free In Every Box of Cracka’ Jacks!) to be used to demonization and humiliate Democrats at every opportunity.

For their troubles we get Tom DeLay rising like the Asshole Kraken from the absolute depths of bigoted-ignorant-demagogue-politics to become a proud leader of your party. And trailing behind him like the smelly brown tail of a feculent comet, all the rest of the escapees from “The Island of Doctor Moreau” that own and operate the GOP.

For their troubles they got the Democratic President of the United States hunted like a wild animal for seven years – for sport – by Republicans riding along on a rhetorical tsumani of Absolute Ethical Standards. Virtually shutting the country down to impeach him for a b-l-o-w-j-o-b, not because you wanted to -- Heavens No! -- but because any hint of impropriety on the part of any president need to be ferreted out, no matter the cost.

Well the per-capita number of Ferrets in your party has certainly skyrocketed since then, so where are all the investigations of the possible High Crimes and Misdemeanors of the administration of George Walker Bush? Where are the Select Committees? The Special Prosecutors with unlimited lines of credit? Has Cheney been excoriated and rebuked for secretly rigging up a new energy policy? Has GW been subpoenaed yet? Has Rice? Perle?

Of course not, BoBo, because your party is infested top to bottom with CHUDS and poltroons, liars and hypocrites, Elmer Gantrys and Jeff Gannons. You already own the Executive and Legislative branches and the only thing standing between them and the Jesusland, Inc. fantasy that you all cream over is the courts…

…so let’s expend a Brooksie columns beating up on judges by cowardly proxy. Hey, how about Liberal Supreme Court Judges? Who are dead? And how about we try to throw the dogs off the scent by waving the word “Abortion” around and seeing if that’ll confuse them.

Face it, BoBo in the sharp illumination of your party’s own words and deeds, you sound idiotic, but hey, if you really want to disarm and play nice, fine. And since we spent a decade trying to find compromise with the "Napalm a Progressive for Christ" wing of your party (now better known now simple as The Republicans) and got our skulls bashed in with big, old GOP crowbars for our trouble, how about you going first, and we’ll meet you at the half-way point.

The REAL halfway point, which at the rate your party has being sprinting into the doughy arms of the Fundamentalists, is now about nine billion miles to your left.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, that was good!
You should email a copy of this to Bobo, and the editors of the NYT.
Maybe he'll get a clue.

Well done!

Mister Roboto said...

Yes! Yes! Send! Send!

Eli said...

Or you could send him that e-mail from your next post. He's clearly proven himself dumb enough to fall for just about anything.

Anonymous said...

As usual, I am awestruck by the gossamer delicacy of your prose style... [insert Al Bundy "teehee" here]

Great stuff, and I won't be a spelling/grammar Nazi by pointing out the typos -- except for one: That's GATT (the General Agreement on Trade and Tariffs) not GAT.

So, you'll have to get rid of the "GAT", but you can keep one of the gittens.

As for BoBo, observing yet again the workings of the Right's echo chamber, I must admit to a kind of sick admiration. It's like a jazz composition, every member of the band improvising his riffs on the theme du jour: "Activist judges".

Come to think of it, though, a chorus of demented parrots would probably be a better analogy.

Anonymous said...

Will somebody please help MoDo, Krugman, Rich and Herbert set up their own blogs so the New York Times can past into irrevelance. Their reporters over in Iraq are too busy banging their interpreters to tell us anything outside Rummies press releases. Judith Miller still has a job, so I guess she can breathlessly tell us about Iran Nuclear ICBM program. Jesus, who goes to any newspaper first thing in morning anymore to find out what is going on?

driftglass said...

Thanks, one & all.
Send whatever you'd like along to BoBo, but remember BoBo Don't Surf. He's not misguided and there is little chance that he's ever going to change his mind: he reasons backwards from his ideology into his limp diatribes, instead of forward from the facts to a reasonable conclusion.

Instead (and in answer to a question that's been raised a couple of times) Brooks is a committed wingnut middleman -- sort of the Fundamentalist's pet PBS Mennonite --
which IMHO is much more dangerous than a fully outed DeLay. Brooks' job is to sell the poison to the center by dandying it up in NYT-speak, and since the battle for the future of the country takes places in the middle, the wingnuts-in-sheeps-clothing are the ones that deserve extra-special beatings.

(The good news is, BoBo obviously doesn't know he's an idjit. Instead, he thinks he's tricksey, which is why he keeps obligingly waddling into the thresher blades.)

Anonymous said...

Excellent! I agree you must bring this to Bobo's attention!

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