Please forgive my Google Translate French. I can practically hear Madame
Alfille wagging her finger at me and scolding me for wasting my time on debate
and track in high school when I should have joined her French club.
Alas, I am poorly made, and this was the best French translation I could come
up with for, "Wouldn't Piss On You If You Were On Fire. And You
Are On Fire."
Trump’s panicked plea goes largely ignored by world leaders: 'No country
stepped forward’
President Donald Trump issued a plea Saturday to several countries in the
hopes that they would “send ships” to a major shipping route off the coast
of Iran to help the United States’ war effort against the Middle East
nation, a plea that as of Sunday afternoon appeared to go largely
ignored
In response to the U.S.-Israeli joint military siege launched late last
month, Iran has vowed to attack any sea vessels aligned with the United
States and its allies that attempt to pass through the Strait of Hormuz, a
major shipping route through which 20% of the world’s oil trade flows. As
a result, oil prices have skyrocketed, reportedly sparking panic within
the Trump administration.
“Hopefully China, France, Japan, South Korea, the UK, and others, that are
affected by this artificial constraint, will send Ships to the area so
that the Hormuz Strait will no longer be a threat by a Nation that has
been totally decapitated,” Trump wrote in a social media post on Saturday.
Begging a community of nations -- which he has spent a decade shitting on --
to come and save his rapidly decomposing ass from a catastrophic war of choice
he launched with no plan and no warning is the most beta cuck thing I have
ever heard of.
And so far the silence from other nations is coming through loud and clear.
In Japanese:
Tatoe kimi ga moete ite mo, kimi ni shōben o kakeru koto sae shinai yo.
Soshite kimi wa ima, moete iru nda.
In Simplified Chinese:
Jiùsuàn nǐ húnshēn zháohuǒ, wǒ yě lǎndé sā pào niào jiù nǐ. Ér nǐ xiànzài
quèshí zhèng zháohuǒ ne.
In Korean:
Nega bultaoleugo iss-eodo ojum han bang-uldo an ssal geoya. geuleonde neon
jigeum bultago issjanh-a.
Even in Cockney:
I wouldn’t ‘ave a slash on ya if ya was goin’ up like Guy Fawkes Night —
and look at ya, you’re already bleedin’ burnin’, ain’t ya
All three of them were lying. Reagan was lying after the fact. Bush was lying before the invasion, laying the fraudulent predicate for it. And
Trump was lying in medias res, so to speak.
But they're all liars. Republican liars.
The difference is that Trump didn't have speechwriters like Landon Parvin
(Reagan) and Michael Gerson (Bush) bending the language around to tailor those lies for general public consumption.
Your friends at MSNBC polished him up like a shiny new penny and presented
him to their Liberal audience dozens (hundreds?) of times as a penitent
ally. A humbled sinner, truly sorry for his role in the rise of Donald Trump.
And
then... From WFMD "Free Talk" AM 930 in Frederick, Maryland,
January 19, 2026:
MS NOW stays silent on Michael Cohen’s admission he felt ‘coerced’ to
give anti-Trump testimony
He was MSNBC’s golden goose — until his story no longer fit the network’s
preferred narrative.
President Donald Trump‘s former personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, was a
frequent MSNBC guest for years while he was a key member of the
#Resistance. But the liberal network — now called MS NOW — has not covered
his striking admission he felt “pressured and coerced” to deliver
testimony that would help secure convictions against the president.
Cohen, who was a key prosecution witness in two New York cases against
Trump, accused New York Attorney General Letitia James and Manhattan
District Attorney Alvin Bragg on Friday of pursuing evidence squarely
aimed at getting Trump. He alleged in a Substack post that prosecutors in
both offices were uninterested in testimony that didn’t fit their
narrative...
Cohen had long been a fixture on MSNBC, which changed its name late last
year, appearing over the past five years on programs such as “The Beat
with Ari Melber,” “The Rachel Maddow Show,” “Inside with Jen Psaki,” “The
Weekend,” “Deadline: White House” and “PoliticsNation,” often to deliver
anti-Trump commentary. He was also frequently discussed on the network
even when he wasn’t appearing as a guest...
The progressive channel covered Trump’s criminal case in New York
extensively in 2024. According to a Grabien transcript search, “Michael
Cohen” was mentioned 10,906 times from the start of the trial on April 15,
2024, through May 31, 2024 — the day after the verdict was announced.
But MS NOW has, as of Monday afternoon, ignored Cohen’s revelation that
he felt “coerced” to deliver anti-Trump testimony...
And thanks to the MSNBC Republican Reputation Rehab project, as long as he drew clicks, your bestest buds over at the Meidas thing also had much love for Trump's
repentant fixer:
And then...
Programming note: MeidasTouch Network will no longer be producing or carrying the shows Political Beatdown or Mea Culpa with Michael Cohen.
Your recently-former Republican Never Trump pals at The Bulwark and The Lincoln Project (who also enjoyed the lavish benefits of MSNBC's Reputation Rehab spa treatment) also managed to find time in their busy schedules to squeeze a Cohen appearance or two into their lineups:
And then...
Michael Cohen announces to Lara Trump that he is teaming up with Laura
Loomer to do a podcast together.
Perhaps consider this the next time the "liberal" media offers up yet another Republican with their new Resistance spray job still wet from the paint shop as our new Hero of Democracy.
How horny is the political media for any "Democrats in Disarray" story?
On the venerable Blue-Balls scale of 1-to-10 they're now clocking in at around
a 12. Which is how the usual rough-and-tumble of Illinois politics is
magically transformed into a Big Story about
splitting, division and splintering, so mama,
break the fainting couch out of storage and fetch the
spirit of hartshorn!
The New York Times also knows a free lunch when they see it:
Will Another Black Woman Join the Senate? This Messy Primary Is Set to
Decide.
Two Black female candidates may split Democratic primary voters in Illinois,
and anger is growing at well-funded efforts to widen the divide.
Messy. Split. Divide. Better make that two doses of
hartshorn!
Election day is Tuesday, March 17, so this will all be over in three
days.
And, if you dig down a few paragraphs you find...
Unlike other major Democratic primaries for Senate this year, the contest
is not so much a test of the party’s ideological or messaging direction —
the three candidates are broadly similar on policy and style — as it is a
fight over identity and who deserves a Senate seat.
But that's not much of a lede, is it? So much better to frame it as a
bar fight that'll be settled on St. Patrick's day in Chicago.
But now riddle me this: if Politico and the
Times really wanted a story of rancor and disarray in Illinois
primary politics, why not focus on the Republican party? After all,
instead of running three, well-known political professionals, the Illinois GOP
senate primary is a freak show with Six!Count 'Em!Six! weirdos and nobodies
all competing to see who will get hog-slaughtered in the general election in
November. Which is why bigger name Illinois Republicans like Mike Bost
and Darin "Disgrace to his Family Name" LaHood took a big ol' pass at running
for that office this year.
Or how about the Illinois gubernatorial primary, where Four!Count 'Em!Four!
goofballs are competing feverishly to see who gets to lose to JB Pritzker in
the Fall?
See what I did there? Answering my own question? Because in
Illinois it is a foregone conclusion that, barring a tectonic event involving
pods from space and zombies, whoever wins the Illinois Democratic senate
primary will, along with Pritzker, win at a walk in the general
election.
Which, from a policy and governance, perspective, is obviously great
news. But which, from a "fun news stories" perspective, has
deprived Politico readers of the opportunity to learn about characters
like perennial Illinois office-seeker, Jimmy Lee Tillman II, who is the
son of longtime (now retired) Illinois alderwoman, Dorothy Tillman, and who
runs under the name "Dr. Jimmy Lee Tillman II" although no one can tell you
what exactly he is a doctor of.
According to his campaign website, Dr. Jimmy Lee Tillman II would like you to
know that "Our state stands at a crossroads", that "Illinois is the
battlefield and Chicago is the frontline."
I am Dr. Jimmy Lee Tillman II from Chicago—leading the MAGA Cavalry as
the only GOP candidate who can win Chicago and has the strong name
recognition statewide that Republicans need to win in Illinois. I'm also
the only GOP candidate that the Democrat machine is afraid to face. While
other candidates have ideas, I have a proven record of accomplishments.
As a bestselling author, historian, Heritage Foundation Academy Fellow,
and President of the Martin Luther King Republicans,
And so forth.
Then there is Jeannie Evans, a partially self-funded attorney, would like you
to know that she is "Unstoppable. Innovative. Illinois." and appears to think
that it's 1994. As a " a mother, wife, and winning attorney" and "Not a
Politician", once she's in the U.S. Senate, she promises to:
...bring that same unstoppable energy to build Illinois’ future: reducing
taxes and costs, supporting innovation and education, securing safe
communities, and creating opportunities for every family and business. The
future doesn’t wait. Let’s build it.
Not a word about MAGA, America First or Donald Trump is to be found anywhere
in her campaign website.
And let's not forget, Pamela Denise Long -- occupational therapist and
political newcomer -- who has also heard the Siren's Song of the Senate.
We are in a fight for the soul of our nation. Cancel culture is off
the rails. Gender ideology has gone too far. Mass immigration has flooded
our neighborhoods and job sites.
And
I never wanted to be a politician. I was convinced to run for office
after Illinoisans tapped me to help stop the flood of illegal immigrants
into Chicago. Unlike the powers that be, I've spent the last four years
and hundreds of hours listening to a diverse array of Americans express
their needs and concerns. I see the Black American voting bloc has finally
begun to divorce the Democratic Party. At the same time, Americans of all
stripes are sick of the divisive rhetoric that gets politicians elected
but keeps neighbors apart.
Her campaign website features several embedded YouTube videos of her talking
about things like the horrors of DEI and ending birthright citizenship, with
a giant picture of Donald Trump rampant on an American flag as her
background.
Casey Chlebek is also running for U.S. Senate on a platform of cutting
practically every form of taxation you can think of. That's his
"MAGNA" plan: Making America the Greatest Nation Again.
Casey is the former President of the Polish American Congress (Illinois
Division) and his site features all the usual MAGA yadda yadda about open
borders, CRT, and Trump being awesome. And, damn it, he is
not a politician. But I think the real story here is
found in the second line of his campaign resume.
Former Commodore of the Chicago Yachting Association and the Joseph
Conrad Yacht Club.
Come on! If you write about politics and you can't take yachts,
"Commodore Casey" and tax cuts and run all the way down field with it, then
get outta the business kid.
Dark money group offers influencers $1,500 for posts attacking Chicago
Democratic primary candidate
Progressive House candidate Kat Abughazaleh told MS NOW the secretive
campaign is “filled with false and defamatory claims.”
A week out from a crowded and contentious Democratic primary in
Illinois’s 9th Congressional District, Amanda Informed, an online
influencer in Florida received an email with an offer: one negative post
about candidate Kat Abughazaleh on Instagram and TikTok, for
$1,500.
The request, which came from a secretive political organization called
Democracy Unmuted, was forwarded to her by Matt Anthes, founder of
Advocators, a digital marketing agency focused on politics and advocacy
through micro-influencers.
They're scared of her.
Good. They should be.
Honestly, any influencer (god, how I loathe that word) who gets this offer should take the
money and then just post a copy of Kat's own "negative" ad:
War Brings New Water Crises to an Already-Parched Iran
Iran has accused the United States of bombing a desalination plant on Qeshm
Island. The country was already facing a severe water shortage...
The incident — and Iran’s subsequent bombing of a desalination plant in Bahrain — has sparked fears that the U.S.-Israeli war with Iran could lead to broader assaults on critical water infrastructure in the Gulf, threatening supplies for millions.
