Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Little Green Slag

After a long morning explaining to the software security service I use that, no, they cannot charge me for an account and a computer I haven't used in 10 year...

...and arguing with a credit card company that a policy which results in charging me a late fee (2 days late) that is half the size of my account balance (I keep it as close to zero as possible) put their immortal soul at risk (note to self: they don't have souls so quit trying to appeal to them)...

...I'm going to take it easy on myself and respond to David Fucking Brooks' extraordinarily Godawful, almighty mawkish (even by DFB's own, debased standards) 800-word upchuck...

The Long Strategy

I was a liberal Democrat when I was young. I used to wear a green Army jacket with political buttons on it — for Hubert Humphrey, Birch Bayh, John F. Kennedy and Franklin Roosevelt. I even wore that jacket in my high school yearbook photo.

It’s a magic green jacket. I can put it on today and, suddenly, my mind shifts back to the left. I start thinking like a Democrat, feeling a strange accompanying hunger for brown rice.

...by reprinting (with a few touch-ups) these comments I left at the NYT last night:
Except, of course, you are not a liberal or a Democrat. You are the carefully bland, studiedly tepid apologist for a depraved and failed ideology whose livelihood depends entirely on continuing to pretend that there is some reservoir of "reasonableness" remaining w/in the Conservative Movement which could be magically activated IF ONLY the Left would just keep compromising over and over and over and over again.

This is a lie.

It has been a lie for 30 years.

You know it is a lie.

Your colleagues know it is a lie.

Everyone who pays attention to politics knows it is a lie.

And yet week in, week out, you continue to get paid top-dollar to dress up in a costume, put on makeup and tell your paying customers things which both of you damn well know are not true.

Was there ever a more breviloquent definition of "whore" than that?

UPDATE: Welcome Reality Chex readers.


Denny Smith said...

DG, beautiful.
But to what point?

It's past time for us progressives and other commies to let slip the dogs of war.
To the the streets!

fs said...

Thanks, driftglass, for so beautifully and boldly expressing the disgust and outrage I feel every time I hear Brooks on TV or read his column. Your honesty just blew me away, and I was grateful that the NYTimes' comment editors were mature enough to let your comment through. Hope it emboldens -- or at least opens the eyes of -- some of the other readers.

Keep dropping those bits of truth into the pond; you never know where a ripple might lead...

D. said...

I only managed 2 paragraphs; the brain refused to process anything after the words "brown rice."

But at least now we know how he got the job: He was wearing the Magic Jacket.

Can someone supply the NY Times Op-Ed Editor with the Spectacles of Truth or something?

(Loved your comment, by the way! and may showcase it.)

Anonymous said...

Since most of DFB's ilk, managed to keep themselves from actually having to wear those green jackets by military edict (college and ROTC deferments...) and now spend their time trying to create some kind of revisionist history where the hippies cost us the war (if only we had stayed and killed another million..we could have won) his dreams are enough to make one ill. I wonder what cute little coed with a flower in her hair condemned the rest of us suffer DFB's warped version of reality, by rejecting his advances? I can see it now: Insecure rich college boy, dabbling in leftists politics (because thats where all the hot girls were) turns in to milquetoast fascist apologist after repeated humiliating rejection by hippie chicks. The rebirth of Bobo.

darkblack said...

'I used to wear a green Army jacket with political buttons on it — for Hubert Humphrey, Birch Bayh, John F. Kennedy and Franklin Roosevelt.'

Wow, how 'hep' and 'with it'. Betcha that ne plus ultra of insouciant sartorial campus rebellion set the coed 'chicks' to grinding up their banana peels in a white-hot frenzy.

But was that a Sears green army jacket, or...?


Kathy said...

Last time I checked your comment at NYT: "Recommended by 569 Readers"

Betty Cracker said...

Outstanding as usual. Loved the NYT comment.

Fiddlin Bill said...

Some may not have seen this:

Tengrain said...

You know that army jacket is such a strong dog-whistle with the conservatives for DFH. He's completely appalling.

The whole thing reeked, and not of the Swizzler he claims he left in the pocket.



Kathy said...

Yeah, and the brown rice. All Demo-libs eat only brown rice. Only his Dog whistle is more like a kazoo.

Anonymous said...

I tried to recommend your comment at the NY Times; they are no longer accepting comments. Oh well.

I used to think you were overly fixated on DB. Now I think you are right on target - the very calm demeanor and appearance of reason makes DB a dangerous man.

Interrobang said...

I fuckin' hate brown rice. Shit tastes like sawdust. I guess I have to go join up with Stephen Fucking Harper now, huh? Damn.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of asswipes, who is this Guy Benson twit who has now apparently been promoted to a higher grade of right-wing sheltered workshop? He sounds like he's trying to be a subtler sort of Breitbart, but he sounds like a standard-grade trustafarian who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple.

triozyg said...

especially liked that your comment on the NYT was followed a painfully slobbering wank of DFB -- and you got 5x as many recommends.

i imagine it wasn't easy for you to post there -- but you can see it's appreciated.

glad the hall monitor posted it (someday there likes you? -- of course after having to wade through posts praising DFB you probably made his or her day)

Deborah Newell said...

Awesome, absolutely awesome.

(Oh dear God my word verification is "fixfines".


justme said...

I had the honor of being the 666th person to recommend that comment.

Registered just to do it.

As always, thanks, and keep up the good fight.

Distributorcap said...

this was brilliant

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