The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I Am The Liberal Media

A Little Late But Still Official

I Am The Liberal Media

Professional Left Podcast Episode 1005: Meanwhile, In Local News...

“Tonight Illinois has set a tone for the nation, that we won't stand idle hoping that our economy improves. This is a brand new day for the Illinois Republican Party. Tonight we send a message to our party that here in Illinois, there will be a new generation of Republican leaders..."  -- then-rising Tea Party Republican Adam Kinzinger after he won a congressional seat in 2012 

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All The McConnell Situation Lacks...

...is Bill Frist remote diagnosing him from the Senate floor as "perfectly fine", just a "little under the weather".  One cup of chicken noodle soup, a shot of Pappy Van, and a good night's sleep and McConnell will be up and ready to ninja kick the Republican agenda over the goalpost and into the future!

Burn The Lifeboats

Professional Left Podcast Episode 1004: The MAGA Merry-Go-Round

“Never give a sucker an even break.”  -- William Claude Dukenfield

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They're The Same Picture

Burn The Lifeboats

The MAGA Merry-Go-Round

It’s all horse’s asses.

It goes in circles but never gets anywhere.

And there is no brass ring.

Burn The Lifeboats

Fire At The Giant Scary Font Factory...

...has disrupted production at A-List political podcasts on both coasts.  

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the publisher of a notable podcast with over a million subscribers told us they became concerned when they learned that a fire had spread to the wing of the factory that manufactures Scary Yellow and Yellow-Orange Nouns, Verbs, Adjectives, and Comparative Adjectives, as well as what industry insiders call "Urgent Paintbrush Underlines" and "You Should Be Panicking" exclamation points.

At first, however, the publisher remained optimistic.

"I figured we could get by with ordinary black-and-white boldface Jump Scare font until the factory was back up and running."

However, once word came across the wire that the factory was a total loss and would take months to rebuild, the publisher's mood darkened considerably.  The losses include Concerned Red Arrows, Shocked Open-Mouth Reaction Faces. Even the shed where emergency backup "DESTROYS", "SLAMS", "EXPOSED", "DEVASTATING", "STUNNING", "BRUTAL", "TERRIFYING", "MUST WATCH" and "EVERYTHING CHANGED" were stored was, uh, DESTROYED.

"We might as well shutter the place and hit the beach for the rest of the summer," they said mournfully. "It's hitting us all pretty hard, but before we lock down the office until the Fall, we'll make sure are network is protected with... NordVPN ™.  After that, I know we could all use a good night's sleep on a Caspar Mattress ™, and probably a little BetterHelp ™ therapy.  Then it's off to the beach for me, with a Magic Spoon ™ beach snack in one hand and an Audible ™ beach read in the other!"

I Am The Liberal Media