(h/t @Thers for giving my exhausted synapses a kick.)
Now that Mr. David Brooks has successfully scammed the New York Times and PBS and NPR and Yale and NBC and The Aspen Institute and Oprah into underwriting his midlife crisis, and various paeans are being written about his heroic moral journey from unrepentant Beltway Republican hack to unrepentant Beltway Both Siderist hack, I thought someone should set that journey to music.
To be sung to the tune of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia".
Or, I suppose, "The Rains of Castamere"
The devil hopped the Acela express
He was lookin' for a soul to hire
He worked for the Times
And he was way behind
Because Safire was due to retire
When he came upon this goofball
Pimping Bush in The Weekly Standard
And the devil sat down
Right next to this clown
And said, "Boy, you sure can pander
I guess you didn't know it
But I'm a op-ed columnist too
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you
Now you sling pretty good drivel boy
But give the devil his due
I'll bet a job for life
And a brand new wife
'Cause I think I'm better than you"
The goof said, "My name's David
And it might be luxuriating in a morally exhibitionist display of hubris on stilts on my part
But I'll take your bet
And you're gonna regret
'Cause I'm the hackiest there's ever been!"
David you lather up your prose and sling that drivel hard,
'Cause your party's lost its fucking mind and the wingnuts need a bard
And if you win you get a job-for-life at the good old NYT
But if you lose ... you'll get it anyway!
The devil opened his laptop and he said: "I'll start this sham."
And pablum dripped from his fingertips as he greased up Lindsey Graham
And he puckered up, sat right down and gave Dubya's ass a kiss
Then a band of Neocons joined in and it sounded something like this
When the devil finished, David said: "Well you're pretty good old cobber.
Just sit down in that chair, right there, let me show you how to slobber."
The Right's gone mad, so it must be spun
So that Both Sides Did It and the Centrists won
Get Brooks a gig at the Gray Lady.
"Will he ever tell it straight?"
"Are you kidding me?"
The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd found his tool
He gave David that job-for-life as the Beltway's holy fool.
David said: "Devil, if you've got a sec, there's just one more small detail.
Unless I'm on Meet the Press a lot, our plans will surely fail."
The Right's gone mad, so it must be spun
So that Both Sides Did It and the Centrists won
Get Brooks a gig at the Gray Lady.
"Will he ever tell it straight?"
"Are you kidding me?"...
Behold, a Tip Jar!
5 comments:
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZOOS!!!!!
That was GREAT!
Thanks, I needed that laugh!
Bravo!
Why not fighting fire with fire time?
Or
Fighting both sides with both sides.
When right wing hollers out at democrats, "their socialists"
Reply, "Both sides".
Liberals want to kill babies.
Reply, Both Sides" Like Elliot Broidy, Republican finance chair.
Liberals want open borders,
Reply, Both sides" Like Trump. Many republican businesses want the Mexican cheap labor.
The problem sems to be, Both sides excuse all, is something it seems only republicans can use.
Like, only a republican president can nominate a SCOTUS Judge. Only a GOP president is above the law and has unlimited power. Only Republicans are allowed to govern.
The media who indulge in the both sides excuse all. Are the problem.
The media only seems to invoke both sides is done on behalf of the right.
They feel they own this excuse for everything.
Decrying socialism with evil intent blame on the left as redistributing money.
- GOP bailing out farmers who are losing foreign profits after turning to big government to renegotiate trade of a free market. How this failure did not cost them. It cost everyone else to have their money redistributed to farmers.
The Wall Street Bail outs were blamed on Obama before he was inaugurated as president.
Both sides was used for, "good people on the side of NAZIS, chanting JEWS WILL NOT REPLACE US". But Trump did not point to the girl killed by the NAZI in his car, he did not say she was a good person on that side.
Not sure why the Oprah and others feed this both sider critter (DFB) other than they must have some convoluted notion this will bring us together and they can up their celebrity image.
As for me, I won't choose to spend my money on what DFB writes when I can spend time and or money on reading something with conclusions from research. For me to comprehend the information concluded. Then decided from what I know, what information out there to compare it with, peer reviews which provides more than some idiotic thing that Brooks says everyone does it.
let's face it, Both sides excuse originated from the old sarcasm ,
:he thinks his shit doesn't smell".
Which I would rebuttal with, "Courtesy Flush please".
Tommy F.
Another rich guy telling everyone what to think. Because his wealth makes him smarter than you.
People like Tommy F. are fine examples to display when. Someone tells you, "There never has been a a poor person that hires a rich person"
To convince you to kneel and feel blessed for your station in life that has been ordained as a peon.
Wealth usually hires brains to construct, produce what they cannot do themselves with all that intelligent money they inherited.
But From Glenn Beck to Louie Goemeert. proves a strong work ethic. Strong education and a decent human character will advance an career.
Speechless. Inexplicably, we still haven't reached the bottom of the Driftglass well of innovation, creativity, and R&D. Also, you are past due on a post bashing The Gods of Silicon Valley. I know how you feel about Ted Talks, but this is the anti-Ted Talk of Ted Talks, and it may spark your creative juices: https://www.ted.com/talks/carole_cadwalladr_facebook_s_role_in_brexit_and_the_threat_to_democracy?language=en
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