Saturday, July 28, 2018

More Thrilling Tales of True Conservatism! Vol 22: Ask a Tru-Con

If nothing else, the electoral death march of 2016 should have provided the once-and-for-all, final-nail-in-the-coffin proof that True Conservatives never had the first fucking clue what is going on inside their Republican party.  Or inside their Conservative movement.  Or anything, anywhere outside of their own little bell jar of self-regard.

That they have never been more than flimsy, ideologically-inbred creatures who feed at a bottomless wingnut welfare trough and shit bad advice sheathed in big words.  Who speak only to each other and to their fan boys in the media and academia, and are simply incapable of functioning outside the cloistered, biosphere of the Beltway.

So naturally, who better to use their unearned, undeserved media platforms to scold, hector and otherwise nag the Democrats on how they should be doing politics to appeal to Real Murricans.

From Mr. David Brooks of The New York Times:
What Is the Democratic Story?
Choosing between a focus on race or class is the wrong choice to begin with.
From Mr. Brett Stephens, also of The New York Times:
The Rules for Beating Donald Trump
Tomorrow or next week we can presumably look forward to a column from Ms. Bari Weiss of The New York Times about how Democrats need to yield to their secret crucible of moral yearning to be Bob Dole.  Only then can we unlock the vault of our inner something something run-on sentence  which will slowly slouch into a bog of words too big for Ms. Weiss to handle and drown.

But one thing every True Conservative sage of the Acela Corridor agrees on is that we Democrats should definitely not bring the inconvenient past into any future political conversations.

Once again, from Mr. David Brooks of The New York Times:
... If I had to advise on a Democratic narrative I’d start with three premises: First, by 2020 everybody will be exhausted by the climate of negativism and hostility.. 
Once again, from Mr. Brett Stephens, also of The New York Times:
Third rule: Stop obsessing about 2016.
You see, like every other species of Conservative (and Both Siderist), for True Conservatives, America's immediate political Past is terrifying.  A terrible, haunted museum where their decades of hubris and spectacular failures are on permanent public display and which, for obvious reasons, they would rather that no one ever visit again.

Liberals, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoy this museum,  Like Like Claudia and Jamie Kincaid in From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (read a book, people!) we have made a home of sorts for ourselves there because we're broke and outcast, and the museum has got everything we need.  It's free.  It's open to the public.  And if we are quick and clever we can stay ahead of the guards.

And living without fear in the haunted place where Conservatives dare not go has also yielded one, amazing side-effect.

It has given us Libtards the superpower of Memory.

And that superpower is why Conservative of every shape and size -- and their Both Siderist enablers -- hate us with the heat of 1000 suns.

Behold, a Tip Jar!


Kevin Holsinger said...

Good afternoon, Mr. Glass.

"The Rules for Beating Donald Trump"

Bret Von Clausewitz couldn't stop VP Trump from taking over the Republican Party, but he knows how Democrats can stop him. Sure.

Be seeing you.

Jerry Shepherd said...

Trumpspeak. We are living in the age of Trumpspeak. (doublespeak)