Thursday, December 07, 2017

The History Of The World


1994:

Liberals:  Republicans are breeding monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1995:
Liberals:  Seriously, Republicans are breeding monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1996:
Liberals:  No kidding, this is getting bad.  Republicans are breeding monsters.  You should really be taking this a whole lot more seriously than you are. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1997:
Liberals:  Republicans.  Monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1998:
Liberals:  Hey look!  A bunch of monsters all wearing "Property of the GOP" tee shirts. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
1999:
Liberals:  Really? Nothing? 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
2000:

Liberals:  Really?  Still nothing? 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up.
2001:
Liberals:   Yes, 9/11 was very bad.  And Republicans are still breeding monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Sit down and shut up, ya filthy Fifth Columnists.
2002:
Liberals: The monsters are lying us into the wrong war. 
Beltway Media:  Look surrender-monkey, Dubya is Murrica, so sit down and shut up.
2003:
Liberals: The monsters have teeth now.  They're looting the treasury and getting Americans killed. 
Beltway Media:  Iraq is going great!  We're all Fox now!  Sit down and shut up.
2004:
Liberals: The monsters are not even hiding anymore. 
Beltway Media:  John Kerry is a pussy.  Swiftboaters are credible. Sit down and shut up.
2005:
Liberals: The monsters are out in broad daylight now. Iraq is going to shit.  Also Katrina.  
Beltway Media:  Bush may have made some mistakes, but Liberals are bad too, so sit down and shut up.
2006:
Liberals: The monsters are on the run.  Maybe if we work together we can finally start undoing... 
Beltway Media:  Sure, but Both Sides, so sit down and shut up.
2007:
Liberals: Are you really going to sit there and pretend that... 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2008:
Liberals: Reality has finally repudiated Republican monsters.  At last we can begin to repair... 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2009:
Liberals: Don't you think it's time to start demanding that Republicans take some responsibility for... 
Beltway Media:  There are no Republicans.  There are only millions and millions of newly-minted "Independents."  Also shut up.
2010:
Liberals: Birtherism?  Death Panels?  Your're  not really going to let them... 
Beltway Media:  Oh look!  A Tea Party!  And they're mad at Both Sides!  Yay!
2011:
Liberals: The monsters are wearing tri-corn hats now, but they're still monsters. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2012:
Liberals: The monsters the Republicans have bred are now openly nuts. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2013:
Liberals: And openly racist. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2014:
Liberals: The monster the Republicans were breeding monsters are now completely fucking out in the open about it.  Really.  They're out and proud.  
Beltway Media:  Facts are scary.   Facts get you fired.  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2015:
Liberals: Since it is physically impossible to not see the monsters at this point, clearly this game you are playing is serving someone else's agenda. 
Beltway Media:  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2016:
Liberals: Fuck me.  You really are going to let Il Douche get away with murder, aren't you?
Beltway Media:  Corrupt duopoly!  Disruption is awesome!  Both Sides.  Shut up.
2017:
2018:
Beltway Media: Panel after panel of wildly overpaid current and former Republicans discuss how no one saw any of this coming...


Behold, a Tip Jar!


14 comments:

atferguson said...

I would argue that recent events where "impeachement is off the table" has made clear there are more sides to this.

Progressives: "The GOP is breeding monsters"

Liberals: "Our honorable colleagues across the aisle should condemn these monsters. But great people of conscience like David Frum and Bill Kristol and Jeff Flake should be honored for their bold stands against .1% of the monster policies. Also Jeff Flake gave us $100. We should return the favor by advising moving our embassy to Jerusalem (Schumer), no impeachment ever (Pelosi) and remove all our Democratic colleagues accused of anything at all before a trial regardless of how close the fate of millions of lives hangs in the balance and maybe donate to that Republican office in NC that burned down. It will show everyone we are morally superior and that will lead to votes. (This actually happened)
Please see our website page 713, paragraph 19, subsection 3, bullet point 14 for our inspiring new coporate alliance plan to reinvest in working Americans. Also, the people who want to change things like Bernie, Ellison, Warren are monsters who should be dipped in acid (too many blogs to count but try Balloon Juice comments for a taste). Everything is fine. No changes needs.



Mainstream media: Both sides have problems

Monster party: They won't even speak harshly about us. We can do ANYTHING.

Public: We have no one to look to for hope. I give up.

Loony Liberal said...

The Beltway Media has utterly and completely failed us. When the nukes start launching, be sure to send a great, big thank-you to Chuck Todd, Joe Scarborough, etc.

Chan Kobun said...

Liberals fought back, "progressives" just fought liberals. But you go ahead and convince yourself that you did the right thing.

Andrew Johnston said...

Sometimes I swear this entire year as been some liberal’s parody of how they think some on the right would act.

So the way conservatives are acting is just how those intolerant liberals thought they'd act, which is "parody." I think we're seeing the birth of the "premature antifascism" of the 21st century.

atferguson said...

Liberals insisted that the course the Titanic set was fine. Progressive said maybe there is a better way than third way centrism that can inspire the 50% of the country that doesn't vote to do so.

The liberals who "fought back" told Hillary to keep doing the wrong thing. Keep embracing those banksters and war criminals! Progressives tried to save her from her own bad instincts and advisors. A friend giving bad advice isn't much of friend. It is this yes man mentality that contributed to her loss. I would argue that it is THEY who betrayed her the most.

I held my nose and voted straight Dem like I always do. Thanks for the attack. Makes holding my nose the next time so much easier. Good for the morale of those who think maybe we can do better.

Perfect example of what I first commented on.

dinthebeast said...

Yes, it is a perfect example of the self aggrandizing myopia of your first comment. Hooray for you!

-Doug in Oakland

atferguson said...

Progressive: To hit the baseball stand like this feet firmly planted, raise your elbows, strong grip, and keep your eye on the ball...

Liberal: How dare you? Don't listen to them or do any of that. They are only in it for that sweet sweet myopic self-aggrandizement. Just keep doing whatever and maybe someday you'll hit the ball when the other side feels enough shame to let you win.

Monster party: The liberals do our work for us... for free!

If you think it is rewarding to be consistently punched by your fellow Democrats, you would be incorrect. Again, no one could do more damage to the Democratic party and its goals than those on the inside who insist no changes need to be made.

This is why some former Dems, driven by hopelessness and desperation, voted Green. You drove them away. You left no room for hope of change.

Robt said...

many republicans have stated that the American people are just spoiled and need to go through a Great Depression like the greatest generation.
(the WWII generation). Only then will the scum bag Americans will learn, Save their money, become responsible, etc, etc. Rushbo is and has been Patient zero. Spreading the disease or in his mind the superiority of the white daddy race.
He was just born knowing what is best for people less financially well off than him. Yet, he relied on those less fortunate than he to turn on the radio and dial him in.
Does anyone think Charles and David Koch of Betsey Devos listen to Rushbos every broadcast of brilliant shiny dung?

As well documented these listeners of the right wing mental Mesothelioma.

Just remember,
Religious rights.
Republicanism will become a religion. They will have rights to deny you representation, Deny the right to by doughnuts if you're a liberal because it is against their closely held conservatism.

Like you say, Sit down and shut up;

While we bring on Newt Gingrich to give us his truest most inner thoughts of the divine.

You know, Something we never got from him as speaker of the house.

And Newt becoming speaker, like Cheney elevated by Nizon to pick himself as VP.
Let me put it in Cheney's most favorite quote. "So".....

As the media hosts swoon and say, look how strong he is. He beats me like my abusive father did as a child.
Just another family value that you get congress to use tax dollars for to settle the lawsuits.


dinthebeast said...

Progressive vs. liberal = we lose.

We need to win.

We have the chance to win right the fuck now.

Will you help us win?

Or will you start shit for us to resolve while we should be winning.

We can't afford to fuck this up even a little, they cheat, remember?

-Doug in Oakland

atferguson said...

"Yes, it is a perfect example of the self aggrandizing myopia of your first comment. Hooray for you!
-Doug in Oakland"

"Will you help us win?
Or will you start shit for us to resolve while we should be winning."

Your first reaction was to mock me for suggesting we could do better in light of recent events such i.e. losing and losing and losing. Is wanting to do better really that offensive? Apparently.

Then you say we need to not fight and will I join you after mocking me. I have already said I will continue to vote Democratic because it is all I can do. Too many lives are at stake. But AGAIN, do not be surprised when more fragile egos break and people turn away from a party that cannot accept even the smallest bits of constructive criticism without those critics being mocked.

Take for example Jermey Corbyn:
“Bankers like Morgan Stanley should not run our country but they think they do,” Corbyn, a 68-year-old socialist, said in a video posted on Twitter that showed the towers of the City of London and Canary Wharf financial districts.

“So when they say we’re a threat, they’re right: We’re a threat to a damaging and failed system that is rigged for the few,” he said.

Compared this to anything a Democrat has said about the banks.

You see why there is so little enthusiasm. Democrats offer damage control, but little to be hopeful and inspired about. And the constant hippy punching and gaslighting by those in the Democratic party to our right is a drain on our morale.

Despite your attack that left me feeling hopeless yet again... Yes. I will join you. I will do everything I can to convince everyone I know to vote for a Democrat. But can you admit that perhaps there are small things Democrats could do that would make them an easier sell to those not politically engaged such as taking money from Wall Street for speeches? There are many other examples, but could we agree that it looks shady? Because if we can't agree on something that simple, then there really is no hope.

I await my beating.

dinthebeast said...

How many of those 20,000 women trying to run for office for the first time in their lives took money from Wall Street for speeches?
The metamorphosis of the party you are looking for is actually underway as I type this.
All I'm asking is that we don't fuck it up by fighting each other instead of the Republicans who cheat so effectively that we are now winning elections by ten points and still not taking control of the legislative body.
We are all well aware of out past failures and present shortcomings. They are a constant threat to our (or at least my own) existence, and that of our children.
The goddamn Republicans just voted to take away half of my health insurance and Paul the fuck Ryan just gave a speech about how excited he is to come after the other half.
This is real.
I just want to see it treated that way.

-Doug in Oakland

atferguson said...

So we can't agree that taking money for Wall Street speeches looks shady.

The metamorphosis I am looking for is only happening because of the electoral losses that have put BOTH of our health care in jeopardy. Maybe if we had put pressure on our side to adopt better positions BEFORE president Stupid was elected the whole thing could have been avoided. Like I said, the people who reinforced Clinton's terrible decisions did more to hurt her than our enemies could ever do. Her constructive critics were attacked. Some were accused of "self aggrandizing myopia." They made it impossible for improvement to take place.

If you are asking that we stop fighting... why did you attack me for suggesting there was room for improvement? You're the one doing the attacking here.

No, we aren't aware of past failures and present shortcomings. We can't even agree Wall Street can be an electoral liability if you are willing to use it. Trump ran to the left of Hillary on Wall Street. Yes, it was a lie. Yes, he is FAR more corrupt than she could ever dream of. But he campaigned (lied) on taking on corruption and bankers. Her position was to check her website page 18, section 5, paragraph 3, bullet point 8. Not even the people that voted for her knew what she was going to do to help sort out the financial industry.

The enemies need to be defeated. There are weapons lying all around us but we refuse to pick them up. They have names like medicare for all, break up the banks, break up the cable companies, import generic meds. Democrats don't want to win using those weapons. Maybe they don't want to win as much as they think they do.

I know its real. I'll lose 100% of my healthcare. Let me put it this way, if that happens you will never see me here again.

I'll try to break it down again. I think we should pressure Democrats into better/more popular policy positions (that might be at odds with the 1%) because it will make them more electable and help them win. I wanted Clinton to say "Medicare for your children and grandchildren" and drop the mic because I thought it would help her win. Not because I enjoyed hating Hillary Clinton.

driftglass said...

Follow this link for a hearty laugh

https://twitter.com/SenAnitaHawkins/status/938835383558828033

Dave Dubya said...

Welcome to America, the domain of the Cult of Con-servatism. We can bitch about it or drink the koolade and be happy.

The sickness has infected the news. But we knew that:

Don’t blame the election on fake news. Blame it on the corporate media.


In just six days, The New York Times ran as many cover stories about Hillary Clinton’s emails as they did about all policy issues combined in the 69 days leading up to the election.

It seems incredible that only five out of 150 front-page articles that The New York Times ran over the last, most critical months of the election, attempted to compare the candidate’s policies, while only 10 described the policies of either candidate in any detail.


Meanwhile 50 percent of Trump supporters believed that Hillary Clinton was running a pedophilia sex ring out of a pizzeria, and half of his supporters still think that it is at least probably true that President Obama was born in Kenya.

Sigh...It seems like only yesterday 70% of Americans believed Saddam had WMD’s and was in cahoots with al-Qaeda...USA! USA!

Ain’t America great already?

USA, 1776>2000. RIP.