Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions Makes History

But not good history.

Scientists call it "The Gonzalez Threshold":  The theoretical upper limit of the number of times a corrupt Republican Attorney General can say some variation of "I don't recall" in one sitting.

Well today President Stupid's Imp of the Perverse swung for the fences.

I gave up counting after it all turned into the road show of "Inherit the Wind" --

-- and the Attorney General of the United States began citing double-secret imaginary  rules of privilege to shield his testimony and stated under oath that has didn't know nuthin' about that Russian hacking cyber thingie but what he read in the Hooterville Times-Picayune, but I think Sessions may have cracked the Gonzalez Threshold.

And now he belongs to the ages.

You know, it's just too damn bad that Putin and Team Trump weren't dealing a little weed on the side instead of engaging in a massive, treasonous plot against the United States.  Because man, if it involved weed in any way, ol' Jeff would be all over that shit!

From the Washington Post today:
Jeff Sessions personally asked Congress to let him prosecute medical marijuana providers 


RUKidding said...

Beauregard can't wait to screw over all the sinners, aka the darkies and other assorted minorities and most especially the little wimminz who need to STFU and get back in the kitchen, whilst making sure he rakes in as much payola from whatever source is handing out the sweet sweet pay for play cashola.

Beauregard just simply cain't recall who was handing over the cash money.

After all, he's from Bamma. That's the way they roll down there. Ya mean it's diff'rent up noath in Yankee Land??? Why I simply cain't recall....

Lying scum-sucking bottom-dwelling ultra racist white sheet wearing bigoted sexist homophobic xenophobic Trump azz kissing troll.

bluicebank said...

Pretty sure G-Man Mueller ain't going to cotton to that Foghorn Leghorn shit when he deposes the Keebler Elf.

Robt said...

How dare you tarnish his honor. He worked in government (that he hates) for 30 years and to tarnish his great name with Russia connections is personally insulting his honor.

The honor he insulted of everyone else for 30 years.

Real or tactical front"
Sessions playing Mr Forgetful Bumbles is a display of incompetence and should be removed He refuses and forgets to answer questions but demand those he will put in prison for 5 to 10 yrs for having a single joint under his war on drugs mandatory terms.
Well that is someone else life. You know, probably a liberal because they smoke that stuff.
And besides, Qusay Trump says Democrats aren't even human.
Let those senators who voted "yeah" to confirm Sessions while lying under oath to become the AS Oath in Chief. Let these confirming senators wear Sessions around their neck.

Karen Rea said...

If I had my way, Kamala Harris would take Walnuts out back and teach him a lesson in one great uppercut. Barring that, I want someone with guts on the Dem side of this Committee to tell these MALE assholes that they don't get to act like Trump Frat Bros in the God Damn Senate. If any woman votes for any Republican in 2020, I'm leaving and waving goodbye to all the suckers left behind.

Rusty White said...

It is all too funny yet tragic and pathetic that the good ole white boys from the republican cult are so afraid of successful, competent women that they will go to any lengths to smear and shut them all down. First it was the 30 year character assassination of HRC, then Elizabeth Warren, and now it is Kamala Harris. The look of both fear and shock in the eyes of Jefferson Beauregard being dressed down by a successful AA woman was priceless and something that a racist imp like him probably never had to embrace. Moments like those are great, but until democrats gain majorities in congress, we will all have to continue to endure the non-stop fellating of Dolt45 and his idiot sycophants by all of the sociopathic grifters of the republican cult.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Jefferson Beauregard Mawfuk'n Satanic Sessions--

As if you weren't already dead- spiritually and to ME!
Your personal goal of imprisoning MEDICAL marijuana providers, whilst protecting and promoting Tom Price insider trading big opiate doctor dealing big PHARMA? Is the last nail in your eternal home, I hope.

Good Christ, you fucking men and dawomenwholove'em-
what part of 'you're fucked' are you not gettin'? Amazing how tightly bound the scales are on some peoples eyes. And, how determined they are to put us ALL in their bondage. For Fuck's Sake. Even Neuter Gringo knows that your penal system is anything but
cost-effective--not to mention--correctional in any way. Dumpsters. Human fucking dumpsters.

Jay-Boa? You gonna do some real time ya little boa.

Do I sound hateful and angry--YES!! We are allowed, even encouraged to hate and FIGHT that which they do.

Ya had the Kennedys. Carter. The Obamas. I hesitate to include Bubba Clinton, after he left General Romeo Dallaire and his troops- one of whom I know well as we attend the same church- left them hanging--in Rwanda. And, you know what? Sighhh...You have become the frontline, my dear friends. They're dropping bombs in the east but the war is on you, my dear friends. Remember-- we are here for you. Vietnam? Here. Always. Plenty of us will put you up if need be. You know that most of us won't be able to cross your border now, right? We, Canadians, don't lie well. Unless you're CON--3 maaybe 4 in 10 of us and they don't even enjoy anything in life much less weed--one guard, one question--ever smoked pot? Boom. Back. Bye. Fuck. Well, you all gonna have to visit us for a decade or so, till this shit gets resolved.

Take good care of each other.

Davis Statton said...

Regarding medical marijuana prosecutions, John Ashcroft did the same thing while ignoring intelligence about terrorist threats.

Robt said...

The rise of Bible Bastard. injects Inherit the wind. Stop the presses.

I "believe" Conan O'Brian (on his show) caught Sessions on video. With a poker "Tell" that is only picked up on by the sharpest trained poker player.
It is worth the investigative research time to view that Conan clip on Sessions.

I do understand in most courts in America, that if you testify under oath to tell the truth. You answer a question with, "I don't recall" when it is provable you did know.
That is not actually telling the truth under oath.
The word, "perjury" may be useful.
But what is so wrong is all those nasty liberals that are being so partisan expecting answers to hard questions.
For instance,
"you state that there is a AG Dept policy that allows you not to answer"

The president has not cited his executive privilege in this testimony matter with Sessions.

"Can you cite and or produce this AG dept policy you cite to not answer the question"?

"Well no, but I "believe" they exist"

As in Rock of Ages clip. For people like Sessions, using the word "believe" is proof you are partisan and hate republicans and witch hunting and tarnishing his honor.
You know, the same honor he displayed in his confirmation hearing under (God's Oath) to tell the truth, but LIED.

That honor.......................

VonWenk said...

@Rusty White: At the risk of sounding like a both-siderist, don't forget Arlen Spector, who shouted down a Democratic woman on the committee he was chairing who wanted the oil executives testifying before them to be placed under oath and was welcomed into the Democratic Party with open arms by Obama and Biden after Spector realized he wasn't nutty enough to win re-election as a Republican. Chairman Burr's disrespect of Representative Harris is a Ven diagram of white male privilege, male chauvinism, and the open hostility Trump's campaign and victory have torn the sheets off so to speak.

This post put me in mind of an episode of Homicide: Life on the Street where Bayliss(?) was advised by counsel to testify he didn't remember in a case involving damage to a police vehicle. As I recall, the argument was "if you say 'I don't remember' to any question you don't want to answer, they can't say you're lying." Maybe Gonzalez and Sessions went to the same law school as Bayliss' lawyer.

Tom Shefchik said...

Sessions read it in "the Hooterville Times-Picayune". Even when writing about such depressing shite you make me laugh out loud.