Tuesday, October 04, 2016

It's The Great Trumpkin, Charlie Brown!

There they were -- all the good little Trumpshirts out there in the sucker patch, waiting for Julian Assange to rise up and fly through the night to deliver Donald Trump into the White House and save them horrors of Hillary Clinton.

And the knew Assange would come because they have the most sincere sucker patch in all the land!

See, they genuinely believe every batshit, racist conspiracy theory flapping around inside their empty heads -- even the conspiracy theories that directly contradict other conspiracy theories.  These meatheads, genuinely and deeply believe all of it and, as the world knows, there is nothing Julian Assange respects more than a chump's sincerity.

Thene moon rose.  They settled in.  And they waited...

..and waited...

...and waited.

Until, at last (From Crooks & Liars):
WikiRolled! Assange Makes Crazy Uncle Liberty Stay Up Late; Pimps Book

They were promised that Killary and that Kenyan in the White House would be de$$troyeed at 3am sharp! Benghazi! 9/11! Baby parts!

Apparently it was all a marketing test by the Ecuadorian Embassy refugee Julian Assange, to see just how many rubes with the word "deplorable" in their Twitter handle were willing to drink caffeine after dinner for the purpose of making libruls mad...
The reaction was both swift and hilarious:

But don't worry about them wising up.

Being chumps is not a hat they put on and take off depending on occasions and circumstances.

"Chump" is who they are,

And falling for the same lying grifters over and over and over again is what they do.


Andrew Johnston said...

From the response I've seen, there are a lot of Trumpkins who are really pissed off. But, there are also a lot of folks who've simply incorporated this into their existing conspiracies. Either Assange was threatened by the Clintons/the "globalists"/the Illuminati which just reinforces what they already believed, or else Assange is actually some kind of stooge and this only proves that shit runs deeper.

That's the nice about being a genuine crank - you can never truly be proven wrong. The facts, history, and your own personal experiences are just a small part of a greater scheme.

Robt said...

I think there is a pattern developing amongst the conserva-elite writers. Brooks, Gerson, Tomas Sowell, Cal Thomas and the other life time conservative family appointments to the "freedom of speech and American consciences" club.

A Brooks column of his most inner morose predictions in tears of sorrow of his party. While Gerson writes of loyalty in this election "could" be casting ones conservative vote for Gary Johnson.
Then Cal Thomas scribbles his way smack into voting Trump and let the party figure it out.
All three project party over country. Something HWW Bush has insulted these writers every article of misdirecting.
I is beginning to seem these aristocratic conservative meowers all collude in each of their articles to orchestrate a circle jerking of there readers.
This way all conservatives have something to identify with and sooth the nervous disorders they are enduring.

Sandman said...

The Clinton campaign's response:

bowtiejack said...

I just came from a very upscale wedding in North Carolina where I was told "probably 80% of the people here are voting for Trump" and one affluent elder assured me global warming was a myth because "man can't affect the environment". No word on his views on whether phlogiston is a real thing.
So yeah. rubes includes a lot of people you would think would know better but they don't.

Cugel said...

"Bechtel, the Clinton Foundation, the Tri-lateral Commission, the Illuminatti"; how can we know who's behind this nefarious conspiracy unless Alex Jones give us his wisdom? Personally, I think the Clinton Foundation hired contract assassins who fired particle beam weapons into the Equadorian Embassy and assassinated Assange. How do we know this was the real Assange? He could have been a doppleganger supplied by the Clinton Foundation to replace the real Assange! Only Alex Jones can pierce this diabolical conspiracy!

Cugel said...

Bechthel, the Clinton Foundation, the Tri-Lateral Commission, the Illuminatti, we'll have to wait for Alex to give us the word about which conspiracy theory to believe!

trgahan said...

The CNN headline claiming Bill bashed Obamacare will provide the needed ego-salve and masturbatory material Crazy Uncle Liberty needs to know he's right about everything and get back sleep tonight.

Funny how such headlines show up around a time the Republican base gets caught out in the light.

keith gargus said...

Never doubted that anything would come of this. As if Assange has the discipline to hold back the juiciest piece. He would have played it one minute after receiving it.

RUKidding said...

There were some juicy bits in some of the earlier leaks, but if my failing memory serves me, I recall Assange & Greenwald promising some really really Yuuuge reveals. Those never happened. So here where are what? Like 4 years later & Assange is still wanking about his big reveals that end up being... bupkiss.

I do take some jollies that Assange pwned Alex Jones & his gibbering fool fans into staying up all night for a worthless infomercial. Snort!

I'd say that the Wikileaks well ran dry some time ago. I think Assange & Greenwald's towering egos got them hoist on their own petards.

Nothing to see here. Move along kiddies.

Robt said...

Let me tell you, falling for those grifters will be incredible. Many people. Great people I know. Tell me it will be the most magnificent fall you've ever taken.


Meanwhile at Breitbart and the Hew Hewit clown scare nationwide.....................