This week the duty of fulfilling the terms of the Beltway's contract with the Dark One to give camera time to rare albino Capuchin monkey and wingnut talking point delivery system, Hugh Hewitt --
-- falls once again to Mr. Chuck Todd of "Meet the Press."
I presume Mr. Hewitt's job will be to make that awkward transition between whatever travesty de jour his Republican party has visited on us today (plus Jeb Bush's 11th place finish in South Carolina) and Hillary Clinton's emails which, for sure, she's gonna go to jail for any day now!
The Mustache of Understanding will pop up on "Fareed Zakaria GPS" and see his shadow, guaranteeing at least six more weeks of columns defending Wall Street and trying to snare a New Deal Democrat like Bernie Sanders and a 15th Century Spanish Inquisitor like Ted Cruz in the same net of terrible, terrible prose.
Ruth (David Brooks in a frumpy dress) Marcus of The Washington Post and Mary Katharine Ham of Hot Air will both appear on Fox News' "MediaBuzz", possibly to help Heidi Przybyla of USA Today search for her lost vowels.
Somebody gave up the address of disgraced former senator Alfonse D'Amato's safe house, and the guys and gals at Fox News' "Sunday Morning Futures" have got him!
Hey, did someone say "disgraced former"?
Yes, America's most famous intercontinental chaser of tail and office abandoner, Mark Sanford, will be on CNN's "State of the Union" to explain why inbred South Carolina Republican hill folk will forgive literally anything a wingnut politician does so long as he promises to love Jebus, hate the Kenyan Usurper and use a condom if he's gonna take the goat around back for a quick round of "Firing on Fort Sumter".
And finally, if you've ever wondered what it would be like to be hit in the head with a power drill and a pillowcase full of lard at the same time. be sure to tune in to "Fox News Sunday" to hear Karl Rove and Laura Ingraham lie to you across a whole range of unpleasant audio frequencies.
(h/t to The Orlando Sentinel for the early line on this week's crimes against the First Amendment)