Friday, November 20, 2015

David Brooks Shows America's Kids How To Bury The Lede Like a Pro

Mr. Brooks devoted 80% of his column today to praising Hillary Clinton's ISIS policies.  Of course, for Mr. Brooks, all experiences pale in comparison to his crack-high, career-making, priapistic delight at being a charioteer in Dubya's Beltway army, rolling into Baghdad and mowing down Liberals with his mighty keyboard...
Some of Clinton’s specific prescriptions were a little too limited and Obamaesque for my taste...
...but still, former Secretary Clinton's observations have been a cut above anything on offer from anyone else.
But she is thoughtful and instructive on both the big picture and the right way forward.
So what's going on here?

Allow me to explain.

First, as the biggest beneficiary of the Beltway Memory Hole, it really doesn't matter what David Brooks writes about anymore.  He can have a complete, public meltdown over the obvious fact that his Republican party has become an open moral sewer of bigots, imbecile and fascists one week and -- poof! -- a week or two later it is so completely forgotten that Mr. Brooks can get back to hacking out his standard wingnut/Both Siderist bilge and no one but a few, smelly outsiders will dare to say a thing about it,  

Which means that once Mr. Brooks grudgingly puts on his black shirt and get behind whichever fascist wins the GOP nomination, all of his friend in the media will agree to forget that it was ever otherwise. 

Second, there is a better-than-even chance that Hillary Clinton will be the next president of the United States, and the coin of Mr. Brooks' realm is insider access. Insider access has made him a rich man, so a little pre-election groveling is just a wise investment; 800 words of bet-hedging flattery back to which Mr. Brooks can point when he is arranging his first tet-a-tet with President-elect Clinton. 

Third, when there is an active, raving catastrophe right outside your door which you really, really, really do not wish to write about, change the subject.  Which Mr. Brooks' does, clumsily, about halfway though column.  In fact, if you look, you will see him actually telling you that 1) he damn well knows what the real story is, and 2) no way, no how is he going to touch it with a barge pole:
Some Republicans have stained themselves with refugee xenophobia, but there’s a bigger story here...
No, Mr. Brooks. Pretty much all Republicans have "stained themselves with refugee xenophobia" because your Party is, by design, an open moral sewer of bigots, imbecile and fascists.  

And right at the moment, there is no "bigger story here", no matter how deeply you bury the lede and desperately you and the rest of your Vichy Beltway collaborators pretend otherwise.


bowtiejack said...

I just want to take this opportunity to say that Il Douche is some of your finest work.
Why they aren't paying you six figures in NY is just another cultural oxymoron to baffle us.
Oh, and while we're on it, unlike Brer Brooks, you would have made a shitty medieval courtier. Congrats!

bowtiejack said...

Having read the recent pronouncements of Messrs. Trump and Bush (among other) it occurs to me that they themselves should be subject to mandatory registration as they clearly are not Christians.

Unknown said...

Yep, BoBo's new strategy for keeping his niche market as "reasonable conservative" while still playing his assigned part in the Wurlitzer is to do the op-ed version of mumbling something under his breath about the massive head trauma afflicting his beloved GOP and then quickly start shrieking "HEY LOOK A DOG WITH A POOFY TAIL" to make sure no one spends too much time thinking about his GOP head trauma remark.

And it works. There are still a lot of liberal-leaning people who, in spite of everything we've been through, want to think they're open minded by reading BoBo and giving at least some consideration to GOP idiocy and word salad, and refuse to just accept that the GOP has gone howling mad.

Kathleen O'Neill said...


And those people drive me insane.

I heard BoBo on his weekly NPR gig today (Column Recycle Central)accuse Obama of being "amoral" in his Middle Eastern policy. I'm sure he leveled the same charge at the Bush administration when the Abu Ghraib photos came out?

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

Bowtiejack probably actually knows this already, but Drifty does not have a 6-figure cultural job precisely because he would have made a shitty medieval courtier. Those jobs go to people who would have made splendid medieval courtiers.

Kathleen O'Neill said...

Booman has a great take down of Brooks today, and sends some props DG's way:

trgahan said...

"...a little too limited and Obamaesque for my taste..."

So Obama sucks because he's an adult and hesitating to send other peoples children into a meat grinder is...what exactly?

Please someone give me ONE post-WWII example of deploying the American military accomplishing anything outside higher returns on defense stocks?

If Douglas Haig had been American, he's be the greatest general in Republican memory.