Saturday, October 03, 2015

Even Among Fictional Bushes, Jeb Is The Dumb One


Fictional Bush, Robert Ritchie, after a fictional Secret Service agent is gunned down during a robbery:
"Crime. Boy. I don't know"
Actual Bush, John Ellis "Jeb", after the mass shooting at Umpqua Community College:
"Look, stuff happens and the impulse is always to do something and it's not necessarily the right thing to do."
Compared to Jebulon, Fred Thompson was an unstoppable force of nature.

Compared to Jebulon, Dan Quayle was William Jennings Bryan.*

*Update:
I can fix a comma.
Jebulon can't fix being a Bush.

17 comments:

JHB said...

Jebsclamationpoint could always up his game by hiring Dan Quayle's brain -- his chief of staff, the one and too many: Bill Kristol.

Doubtful Kristol would take it, though. it would mean a cut in pay, he'd have to be on the teevee less, and the odds are to long that the Jebsclamationpoint Inaugural Cruise won't even leave the pier much less make the voyage.

Unknown said...

"Look, stuff happens and the impulse is always to do something and it's not necessarily the right thing to do."

And Terry Schaivo sez "Hi, dickhead!" from the great beyond.

John MacCuish said...

Between Bush! and McCarthy, I am going to have scrambled donors for brunch!

ELSKY said...

And Prescott Bush did business with the Nazis and poppy and company fellated the House of Saud and Shrubby invaded Iraq and declared victory and still downs' get it, moral imbeciles (and actual poster children for the 1%) all. This is your America.

Robt said...

JEB?

Instead of taking the bad advice and acting on it.
How about taking the good advice and acting on that.

PSA;

Among the book deal GOP candidates and the VP vie'rs or the Administrative job applicants. There are also those rally cap plants. You have heard of auctions where they plant folks to erroneously "UP" the bidding on the unsuspecting bidders.
This is Carson, Huckabee, and others. Their mission, to rile up the KKK, skinheads and bigots alike and keep the gooey mathmos from sticking to the chosen candidate. Allowing JEB? to insert code words to them so when the others drop out. The annointed is left standing with the base having no place to go but the disguised coded candidate.
This is the one percent GOP marketing sales pitch.
They will bring them in and poiont them to their product.

Davis Statton said...

I don't believe he's ever had the impulse to do something, except what's good for him.

Redhand said...

Ya know, I would have thought that no presidential candidate on earth, much less a Republican one, would have used "Stuff Happens" to justify calculated political impotence after Rumsfeld made the phrase infamous by using it walk away from the looting of Baghdad's museums and antiquities, after we had f*cked up and "conquered the city" with insufficient "boots on the ground" to prevent chaos.

Do ya think that after he said it that anyone in Jeb!'s entouragemight have suggested to the dumb bastard that this was a poor choice of words?

Paul Wartenberg said...

Look to be absolutely fair to Dan Quayle, William Jennings Bryan wasn't a smart egg to begin with. As Secretary of State, he once invited Switzerland to send their navy for a national jubilee. The Swiss navy is lake-bound and could not cross the Atlantic.

In terms of oratory, Bryan was good. But anyone arguing against evolution is not helping the cause of super-geniuses.

Jacob Freeze said...

Jeb was Phi Beta Kappa and magna cum laude at U of Texas in Austin, where he also lettered three years on the tennis team. This guy was one jump from a Rhodes Scholarship!

And in the other corner there's "driftglass," an internet pseudonym who can't even punctuate a simple sentence:

"Compared to, Jebulon, Fred Thompson was an unstoppable force of nature. Compared to, Jebulon, Dan Quayle was William Jennings Bryan."

Okay! And compared to (comma) Jeb Bush, driftglass (comma) is a slobbering (comma) retard.

bowtiejack said...

Jacob Freeze

Silly.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

And of course, here in Murka, no kid of a rich, politically-connected donor ever got a grade-inflated free ride from administrators and professors in order to keep the rich kid's donor-parent(s) happy. Nosirree bob! Not in Murka, Jeebus's Fav'rit Land of Supreme Virtue (or it would be if them Libruls and wetbacks and *BONGS* didn't live here).

Did anyone else click Mr. Freeze's name to visit his Google+ page? I suspect him of serious huffing of organic solvents... xD

*BONGS*, of course, is a Blazing Saddles reference. ;)

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

I gotta give Tastee Freeze credit for one thing, though; "Slobbering Comma" would be a great name for a rock band.

Indeed, commas do matter.

bowtiejack said...

ELSKY

Check out Martin Allen's book Hidden Agenda on how the Duke of Windsor sold out his country (and the French) by revealing the French fortifications to Hitler. Yeah, I know, conspiracy craziness, but it's true. (Or just Google "Duke of Windsor" and Hitler or treason for some of the stuff that's come out in the last 6 months on this human piece of pus.) [Or check Scotty Bowers' book Full Service which includes details on the, uh, interesting sexual proclivities of the Duke and Duchess.]

My point is that there is a froth of scum (represented here by the Bush family) that is the 1% and their servants in every society (the Bushes have long been dependable aspiring minions, rather than actual members of the inner circle) that really does feel themselves exempt from all conventions of morality, truth, and patriotism and bound only by considerations of what works for them (or their patrons). Like vampires though, they can't take the sunlight, which is why the National Security State needs so many secrets and the persecution of whistleblowers.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

Don't go to Jacob's namesake dot-com website. My browser warned me that the site would install malware if I went on to it, so I closed the tab.

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

"Froth Of Scum" would be a great name for a death metal or punk rock band.

Dave McCarthy said...

So Jacob, there is a vast difference between "makes a mistake in haste" and "can't even punctuate a simple sentence." And I'm willing to bet that you top Drifty anonymity-wise.

Perhaps you should offer to debate Driftglass. I'd pay good money to hear THAT!

Glen Tomkins said...

Style point

It should always be JEB, because is isn't short for something folksy like Jebulon or Jebadiah. It's the monogram for John Ellis Bush. It was probably monogrammed on his diapers, and it seems to have stuck even within his immediate family, so let's not humanize him from JEB into Jeb.