Thursday, July 23, 2015

Top Republican Consultant Orders Party Base to STFU and Get Back In Line

Establishment Republican political consultant Rick Wilson has had quite enough of the rank-and-file getting drunk and making out with Donald Trump in his basement, thank you very much. They're his chumps, dammit, and if they know what's good for them they'll get their little asses up here right now and stop throwing themselves at that greasy punk!

Here is one of the less demeaning things he has to say about the people his party now completely depends on to win elections:
Remember when Ted Cruz was your idol? When he was going to turn the world upside down and bring the TruCon revolution to its zenith? A month ago seems like a long time, doesn’t it? Ben Carson? Suddenly haram. Perry? Off the list. I’ve even seen Trump fans savaging Scott Walker, who almost everyone seems to love. You do know we’ve seen this movie before, right? A celebrity candidate? Cult-like devotion? Iconic posters? Vehement, bordering on violent reaction to any criticism of the One? Weird; I remember conservatives in 2008 reacting to the Obama Cult with disdain, but now we’ve got one of our own.  
I can only imagine what kind of charmer Mr. Wilson ("I paid for your goddamn burrito supreme so quit flirting with the goddamn busboy and gimme a goddamn handjob!")  must be on a date.

Wilson again:
The circus is almost over.
My advice to Trump fans?
Don’t be the last clown out of the tent.
Over at the Breitbart Collective Farm, a senior spokesclown is taking Mr. Wilson's silver-tonged appeal to about as well as you would expect:
Seriously, Cretors Chicago Mix is quite excellent if you can find a distributor near you.


Anonymous said...

I thought Garrett's was the popular popcorn out there in the land of horrible pizza?

Unknown said...

Just when the GOP thought it had successfully bamboozled the media and the low info voting crowd into believing (falsely) that they'd shoved the Teabagger lunatics back into the closet, Trump comes along to show how full of shit the Party elites are. They may have successfully coached nutjobs like Joni Ernst and Tom Cotton well enough that they didn't come off like escapees from a loony bin until they were safely elected, but they "defeated" the teabaggers by becoming the teabaggers, only with slightly more polish. Oh and they had the dipshit media doing their bidding, running around with their hair on fire about Ebola and ISIS and blaming Obama for all of it. 2014 was a beatdown.

The GOP was feeling pretty good. And along comes the Donald. Blows the doors off the entire con with a few weeks of incoherent bellowing. Now it looks like, maybe, FINALLY, the braindead, true-believing base and the party's top dogs are going to have the all-out brawl they've been lurching towards but narrowly avoiding - thanks mostly to the common goal of destroying the Kenyan Usurper at any cost necessary - for years. Thanks, Donald!

Who knows how this will all play out, but the clown car got a lot more exciting when Trump cannonballed his way in there.

Anonymous said...

How this plays out depends on two things.

1. Does Trump actually want the nomination?
2. Does Trump actually want to be president?

Because Trump is saying a lot of things that are a complete 180 of what he used to say. So far this feels like some sort of Andy Kaufman act or publicity stunt. He seems to be doing this for shits giggles.

bowtiejack said...


It's kind of eerie how the present situation seems to be tearing large chunks of plot out C.M. Kornbluth's "The Marching Morons" and Mike Judge's movie "Idiocracy". Found an outlet for Cretors Chicago Mix here in NYC; gonna run out and stock up right now.

Unknown said...

I think Trump may have started this campaign just for kicks (sort of as if running for president was on his bucket list and he's not getting any younger, so why not now), but now that he's ahead in the polls and clearly enjoying the spitball battle he's in with other Republicans, I think his ego might be telling him he can win this thing. I think he may have scribbled "BE PRESIDENT" on to the end of his bucket list when he saw his name at the top of the polls. In which case, the GOP is in for a real nightmare.

We shall see.