Saturday, July 25, 2015

The Bleats of Laredo

As I walked out on the streets of Laredo.
As I walked out on Laredo one day,
I spied a rich asshole all wrapped in white grievance
Wrapped in white grievance and a fucked up toupee.

"I can see by your tee-shirt that you are a voter."
These words he did say as I boldly walked by.
"Come an' sit down beside me an' hear my Yooooge Story.
"Of rapists and morons and Kenyan moon pie."

There's No Stopping the Trump Show 

Republicans wish their bombastic frontrunner would go away—but they can’t figure out how to get rid of him.

LAREDO, Texas—You want the Trump show to be over. But it’s not over.

You want to ignore Donald Trump. You think maybe if you ignore him long enough, he will go away. Well, guess what? He’s not going away.

Trump is in Laredo, Texas, on Thursday, not because he wants to be, but because he is needed. “The border patrol—they’re the ones that invited me here,” he says.

Trump has just emerged from the tarmac into the private-jet terminal of the Laredo airport. His slab of a face is framed by a jostling halo of reporters. There are cameras above him, cameras in front of him, cameras practically standing on top of each other to broadcast his message, which obviously must mean he has something very big, very important to say.

So, the border patrol. Well, actually the border-patrol union, which is known for its anti-immigration views and which is not a part of the U.S. government. The union pulled out this morning, they didn’t really say why, but Trump has an idea.

Since announcing his presidential campaign a month ago, Trump has been saying things they don’t want you to know. He’s been talking about the dangers posed by illegal immigration—the criminals, the rapists, pouring over the border. This is not a popular or politically correct thing to talk about. (It is also not true, according to the official sources, but Trump has his own, more mysterious sources of information.) And so they, apparently, got to the border-patrol union. “I heard they got those orders from Washington,” Trump says, declining to elaborate.
Trump is not going anywhere until someone makes it worth his while to do so.


Anonymous said...

I really don't think the Donald wants to be president. But he knew what was coming down with "The Apprentice" and he badly wants to keep his mug in front of the cameras, weird combover & all. So we are seeing his latest reality show "The Yooooge, Rich and Very CLASSY Donald Trump Show!" In the meantime the Republicans are in disarray so I'm happy to see the show go on.

Seth said...

I hope this runs out of steam soon. I can't believe people are really taking this moron seriously. He's a bombastic fool.

Ben Boyce said...

My dream GOP ticket: Trump/Christie 2016!