Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Crazy Uncle Liberty, Tracy Flick and the Purity Caucus Mount Off-Broadway Production of SOTU Roshomon

I heard a pretty good speech tonight that played almost every fife and fiddle in the Liberal orchestra.

Climate Change
Minimum Wage
Funding Basic Research
Health Care
Voting Rights
Gun Control
Reining in drones
Reforming the NSA
Immigration Reform
Closing Gitmo

And much more.

Obama was upbeat and energetic.  Kennedyesque.

Cory Remsburg's bio was inspiring.

And none of it has a hope in Hell of going anywhere until the GOP is buried at the crossroads with a stake through its heart.

At least that's the speech I heard.

Crazy Uncle Liberty was listening too.

Here is what he heard.

We no longer live in the same Universe as these people.

But there was no time to dwell on this because, live from 1981, it's the Republican response to stuff President Obama never actually said or did, brought to you by Tracy Flick

She has plans.

Boy howdy.

Big plans!

But not gummint plans. No! No! Never any icky gummint plans.

But Republican plans.

Big Republican plans!

Sadly she apparently has no time whatsoever to explain any detail of any those Big Plans..

At all.

But she does have ample time to strew the floor with plenty of adjectives about how you will feel..

..how warm and happy and yummy in your tummy you will feel...

...about yourself..

...and about America...

...after her Big Plans have succeeded in solving every problem and wiping every tear from your eyes.

And there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain,
For the old order of things has passed away.

Which was followed by this spectacular ad hoc response performed in authentic frontier gibberish by Loony Party Statuary and Pictures Committee Assistant Recording-Secretary, Tim Huelskamp:

Which was, in turn, followed by David Sirota's inevitable Brogressive Purity Caucus response to the response to the... well, you get the idea:


Cirze said...


Again, I'm glad I let you monitor this speech for me just like I look to you for cogent reporting on the Sunday shows.

What a waste of time. And so painful. although it's getting less so almost as we realize that three more years of the same will dull our consciousnesses sufficiently to not notice anything in the future except hunger, cold and homelessness.

And many of us see this clearly now.

When will the 99% hit the streets and force some real democratic change as this becomes more and more likely to be the only alternative to the stasis* provided by those in power?


steeve said...

How painful it must be to be a blogger these days. Spending your whole evening hoping that you hear 20% of the obvious.

Watching politicians think is like watching third graders do homework. The problems are easy, you know all the answers, and you're just hoping their tiny undeveloped brains somehow manage to write the answer down. "You can do it!"

Condescension is the only way to treat any politician or media figure who hasn't left "bipartisanship" far to their right years ago.

"When will the 99% hit the streets" - when will 60% never vote for any republican, anywhere, at any level, for the rest of their lives? The republican label is a badge of stupidity that disqualifies the wearer from even the lowest job.

Grung_e_Gene said...

Too bad the only Republican response to the SOTU is Representative Grimm's attempt to beat up a reporter for 'disrespecting' him.

Bugboy said...

"Whether it be Rebs or Dems"

Rebs. REBS? Your antebellum Freudian slip is showing,Dr. Freedom!

watchdog said...

The right was throwing so many tyrants around it's like being trapped in a Resident Evil game.
Truthfully, I'm quite certain they don't know what tyranny is and would not ever recognize it if they really saw it (relying instead on their big men to tell them something is tyrannical instead). What they do know however is that it sounds scary and makes their mindless talking points sound scary as well.

Frank Stone said...

I'll say this for li'l Timmy Huelskamp: He knows the strategy, even if he's painfully bad at it. Bob and weave, duck and dodge, answer questions with talking points as fast as you can babble them, and hope to hell that the audience is buying it (hint, Timmy: We're not).

Pope Incontinentius XIII said...

Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Tim Huelskamp for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particulary glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

driftglass said...

Frank Stone,

You're not the audience. I'm not the audience.

The audience at which Timmy was aiming no doubt think he sounded like a latter-day William Jenning Bryan putting that awful lesbian she-devil in her place.

Frank Stone said...


True enough. "You had us at BenghAAAAzi!"

Anonymous said...


He didn't attempt to beat up anyone. He engaged in some stupid shit talk sure... but not anything that doesn't get said on the subway or shoving your way through a Whole Foods.

Anonymous said...

Authentic wingnut frontier gibberish.... I noticed that they had to cut from the split screen because Dr. Maddow had trouble not rolling her eyes and being visibly frustrated.

I still think that one of the best podcasts is when DG went on about how words have meaning to progressives, but are a piping bag of fear-words and strength-words that conservatives extrude as "wingnut jazz". This is what happens when those two worlds collide.

Also, I demand that "Lesbian She-Devil and the Hellbeasts" be a rock group. Make it so.


tmk said...

You're not the audience. I'm not the audience.

The audience at which Timmy was aiming no doubt think he sounded like a latter-day William Jenning Bryan putting that awful lesbian she-devil in her place.

This. So Much This.

The only people Lil' Timmy gives a flying fuck in a whirlwind about are the people here in his district that keep him on the Congressional Gravy Train. The nitwit ran unopposed in the last election, they love him so much here.

i hate my life...

Unknown said...

Things can be simplified in one's life by adding "both sides" to the personal Bullshit Detector dictionary.