Thursday, September 26, 2013

Must Love Blogs

The New York Times hit the want-ads in search of some special help for their special people:
Editorial assistant to David Brooks and Ross Douthat 
The New York Times Company, a leading global, multimedia news and information company with 2012 revenues of $2.0 billion, includes The New York Times, the International Herald Tribune, The Boston Globe, , ,, and related properties. The Company's core purpose is to enhance society by creating, collecting and distributing high-quality news and information.
This is a group 8 editorial assistant position that centers on helping David Brooks and Ross Douthat do their columns and blog posts in a timely and accurate way, which requires research, fact checking, linking and writing summaries for everything they write.

There are administrative duties, including making travel arrangements; filing expenses, making and keeping track of office supply purchases; checking reader email accounts; answering phones; keeping files of news clips; opening mail; scheduling meetings. Interest in breaking news and international events; web production and social media skills are important. Flexibility when it comes to working on weekends and in the evenings is a must.

Internal and external applicants should apply to Maureen Muenster,
A reminder that this murmuration of handmaidens exists solely to support two of the most insipid writers in America journalism: 

writers whose entire auctorial output, between them, comes to 800 words of piffle, three days a week, punctuated with a long stretches of time off for vacations and "book leave".

Somewhere in America tonight, I hope at least some, small fraction of the thousands upon thousands of real reporters, photographers, editors and copywriters who were tossed out of work and into the teeth of the Great Recession get a helluva laugh at this before heading out for second-shift, gotta-feed-my-family gigs at Hardee's or Office Max or WalMart.


tropes on the run said...


Anonymous said...

I can't even adjust my blood away from anger much less crunch when I consider how much help these gentlemen need to get things wrong

steeve said...

"There are administrative duties, including" the entire job. Why they would lead with accuracy, research, and fact checking for a secretary position is... i guess not beyond me.

Chances are there aren't enough pennies in that $2 billion to hire both a secretary and a fact checker - meaning 2 actual separate people.

Anonymous said...

Morning again, Mr. Glass.

I don't know whether to go with Joker's "tryouts" scene from "The Dark Knight", or refer to you as "Squire Driftglass". Either way, you totally need to apply for this job.

---Kevin Holsinger

Horace Boothroyd III said...


While it's tempting to wonder "just how long should it take to check the facts they cite?" I think there is a larger issue at work.

Down at the factory we are severly understaffed with administrative assistants. The management perspective is, explicitly, that an engineer can do secretarial work but a secretary can't analytic work so money is best spent on hiring PhDs to waste hours wrestling with PDF formatting every time they have a report to file.

That's capitalism.

In conclusion, is a cesspool of hysterical ninnies who are afraid the NSA has infiltrated their lawn furniture.

Anonymous said...

i'm a soon-to-be retired special ed teacher. think i'd qualify>

Lumpy Lang said...

Poor Droneglass,

So doggedly loyal to a system which is not loyal to him in return.

This, in a nutshell, is the current political/psychological condition of the downwardly spiralling petty bourgeoisie.

His solution ironically Brooksian: to imagine capitalism and its 'Democratic' iteration not as it IS, but as it SHOULD be, and then just keep pretending the creation in his head is the real thing.

Sad. As I've said before, the most telling sign of the U.S. bourgeoisie's senile dementia is their refusal to pay Droneglass a decent living for his tireless work in their defense.

Anonymous said...

I've noticed that if you listen to Lumphead long enough, he sounds exactly like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons ("waa waa waaaaa waa waaa waa waaaaaaaa"). Except the adults in the Peanuts cartoons are more coherent and make more sense.

n1ck said...

Since Lumpnuts McFuckwit is criticizing Droneglass for "supporting" the US Government in each and every evil thing it does, I'm just waiting for the beautiful day when I hear on the news that Lumpnuts McFuckwit tried to stop the US government hisself, since anything less is OBVIOUSLY a full-throated support of Empire.

Hey Lumpnuts McFuckwit:

When are you going to stop being such an Empire-fellating piece of shit coward and go stop the US Government's tyranny?

Hurry up, hypocrite.

Lumpy Lang said...

"The material basis of this transformation looks to be the replacement of the relationship by the transaction, to steal the language of corporate governance. Workers are told to run their lives like little entrepreneurs, moving from one ill-paying short-term job to another, or maybe holding two or three at a time. And at the top of the society, we see the erosion of the planning function, and any rationality beyond the most crudely instrumental. ...this seems to me a perspective on the social rot produced by market-regulated societies, from the macro level of investment down to the socially shaped psychology of how we think and feel. I don’t see how the imperium can long survive this sort of pervasive rot."

Anonymous said...

"While it's tempting to wonder "just how long should it take to check the facts they cite?" ...

The job clearly isn't to check the facts; it's to find a twisted trail of cherry-picked facts and figures and interpret them incorrectly until The Great One(s') thesis is supported. That's gotta take time.

Summarizing Douthat, though - man, that's gotta be the tough part. Speaking of Charlie Brown's teacher, I'd be hard-pressed to do anything but post an MP3 of that sound. Whenever I try to read Douthat, that's all I hear anyway.

Kathleen said...

Hmmmm. Editorial Assistant to Brooks and Douthat or Admin Assistant to Satan. Hmmm. Tough choice.