Wednesday, November 21, 2012

In The End, The GOP Failed To Learn



The most basic Thanksgiving lesson of all.

Turkeys.

Can't.

Fly.

11 comments:

Hamfast Ruddyneck said...

What baffles the GOP is why the turkeys couldn't fly this year, when they flew to victory in most election years from 1968 to 2010.

To repeat myself without using metaphor, the GOP is baffled that the "Southern Strategy" is failing it at last, after having worked so well for it for so long.

It must be rather like how the previously nearly-invincible armored knights of medieval France felt when they first encountered the English (originally Welsh) longbows. The poor idiots just kept riding into hails of arrows and dying in droves.

Hamfast Ruddyneck said...

L'esprit d'escalier:

The French knights should have used the strategy which always works against the English: Stand on your castle walls and taunt the enemy, then catapult livestock at them. -_^

TheCunningRunt said...

Don't feel so alone, Mr. Carlson. Carl Rove thought turkeys could fly, too.

blackdaug said...

I have an old framed litho of the Hindenburg..ass down in flames on my wall. Kind of black and white Led Zep cover without the lettering.
Anywho, somebody put a Romney bumper sticker on my front porch a few months back..and instead of throwing it away..I stuck it to the bottom of the litho..kind of withful thinking. I thought I would peel it off later..but actually looking at it now..I think I will leave it.

wagonjak said...

They actually can for short distances to outrun their predators.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_turkey_fly

Anonymous said...

Wagonjack,

I actually saw that on one of my field trips for my BA in Geology. The bird flew off about 40', and half the van insisted it couldn't be a turkey because it flew over 15' in the air.

Mike.K.

Anonymous said...

The GOP didn't fail to learn lessons, they just internalized the most dishonorable lessons, such as using Bush and Co. as their models. Those turkeys flew, and crime paid for eight years, and Romney gambled that bringing back Sununu, Bolton, Rice, SeƱor et al was a savvy bet.

Kevin Holsinger said...

Good morning, Mr. Glass.

Hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving, discussing Chief Writing Bull's latest column about how the Native Americans should've given up more land to the Europeans***...in the spirit of compromise and whatnot.

***not an actual, rightwing argument. But give it time.

Habitat Vic said...

I've only seen wild turkeys fly perhaps 40, 50 yards at a time. Maybe 100 yards at the most. What's surprising is how fast they fly. Over 50mph, much faster than a pheasant and about the same speed as a grouse (though not as agile/darting in flight).

Oh, and a wild turkey's breast meat (or pheasant/goose/duck/etc) is not white in color. Its sort of grayish and has a different taste. Domesticated breeding makes for lots of changes.

Buford said...

Yup...Turkeys can fly and glide but they need a real incentive to do so...I live in a area where wild turkeys wander past my window...I have yet to photo the flight of one of these birds...they seem to be smarter than the average butterball...I've missed a photo of a heard of deer mingling with a heard of wild turkeys feasting on the dregs of a winery...I'm having ham fer dinner this year..

ScarabusRedivivus said...

Nerdy stuff I looked up because you piqued my curiosity:

Contemporary domestic turkeys can't fly. (Bods too heavy.) Wild turkeys can fly short distances (seen them do it). "Heritage" breeds might or might not be able to fly. If they can, their wings are clipped — just the feathers, actually.

Having failed to do his research and really know what he was buying, Carlson was bound to fuck up. Same with Rove. They both paid for flightless turkeys, and both got turkey egg on their respective faces.

Regardless, that's a really funny episode. I watch it every Thanksgiving.