Thursday, August 09, 2012

Johnny Psycho and His Lying Robot *




You know, from a distance, Willard Romney and the Republican Party Base would seem to be perfect for one another.

The Base has been taught to worship money as a proxy for virtue and Willard spends more on oats and enemas for his wife's dancing horse than most Americans make in a year.

The Base has been  trained to defend any damn thing anyone with an (R) after their name says even if it is diametrically opposed to what they were told to believe the day before, and Willard has shown his willingness to say any damn thing to get elected even when it is the diametric opposite of what he said the day before.

The Base has been conditioned to swallow an endless river of lies without flinching, and Willard lies with the carefree abandon one usually associates with the criminally insane.

The Base longs to be ordered around by a Dear Leader, and Willard has made a career out of ordering underlings around.

The Base has a severe problem with Blah People, and Willard is as pandimentionally white as they come.

So where's the love?

Well, as is often the case, the problem is with the interface software.  

The translation protocols.

The Base needs their crackpot economics served up to them red of fang and claw.  They need their American exceptionalism baked inside a hard crust of class resentment and racial terror.  They need their pious contempt for the "lamestream media" delivered with a smirk by someone who spends more time on teevee than they do in church,  And since Willard has repeatedly shown no capacity to interact with human beings -- much less a facility for whipping up the emotions that move carbon-based meatbags whose votes he needs to win the upcoming election -- he did what any smart CEO would do.


What Newt Gingrich Can Do for Mitt Romney

...
On his best days, however – and there were enough of them to win the South Carolina primary and for a moment at least come close to dismantling the Romney coronation – Newt could summon a passion among voters for which Mr. Romney still struggles. This is not because Newt is necessarily smarter than Mitt. It’s not because he is better looking, or more charming, or nicer, or more well-mannered. (Mitt Romney is so well-mannered you almost expect him to raise his hand before answering reporters’ questions.) And the reason is not even because Newt, who held public office five times longer than Romney, is a better politician. Newt had his moments for a simple reason: he knew who he was...
... 
Despite his best efforts to say all the right things, there is evidence that Governor Romney’s tepid favorability ratings continue to droop, as the Obama campaign makes every effort to portray him as a passionless, even heartless, rich guy. And that is exactly how Romney appears, every time he goes before a camera and says whatever the consensus among his advisors is for that day. There are people who actually love Mitt Romney – it’s a small number, limited to those who know him best – and who undoubtedly do not recognize the caricature that is slowly emerging. Nobody can honestly say that the Newt Gingrich the public saw – smart, curious, mercurial, impulsive, passionate, and yes, sometimes his own worst enemy -- was someone they didn’t recognize. And that’s the help Newt can provide the Romney campaign – to show his once bitter opponent how to be at least a little more like the man he actually is. Whoever that may be.

Sure, Gingrich is a lying, bomb-throwing grifter, but that doesn't mean the Villager gasbags won't pull a chair out for him whenever Gingrich asks them to.

Sure, Gingrich's public career has been a mockery of both personal morality and honorable public service, but that doesn't means the Pig People won't stand up and cheer themselves hoarse the minute he starts laying into imaginary welfare queens, America-hating Liberals and that damn uppity Negro who scammed his way into their White House.

By devoting his life to proposition that a genuinely loathsome human being can achieve fame, fortune and power by shamelessly fellating anyone or anything in the public square for money, Gingrich has earned the respect of every other Beltway whore working the political/media scam and, in the process, has convinced the Romney campaign that he is the indispensable missing software patch that can solve the transmission problem between the pathologically lying candidate and his pathologically credulous Base.

Which is why I figure it's 6-to-5 and pick 'em that Newt will be on "Meet the Press" by Labor Day.


* (For those who were not seduced at an early age by the charms of Japanese giant robot teevee and have no idea what I am referring to...




8 comments:

blackdaug said...

Dr. Maddow had great take down of "the Newt" last night, or rather why Mittbot needs him now...I couldn't make it all the way through, because frankly the sound of the crowds at the debates, cheering every thinly disguised, dog whistle, race baiting, plutocratic "idea" being croaked out by the disgusting toad was just too depressing.
It's hard to pin down just what is more horrifying at this point. The fact that Gingrich is allowed any place on the public stage any more...or that we are all surrounded by people who would cheer him on. The marketplace of ideas, and the thought that in a free society, it sorts out the bad from the good, has certainly fallen on hard times...when the consumers are apparently too stupid and ill informed to engage in any thing more taxing than following the whims of a repeatedly disgraced, certifiable megalomaniac like Newt.

Habitat Vic said...

So Drift. Did you mean to say "Willard is as pandimensionally white as they come" - ie, his whiteness goes across all dimensions, ala Hitchhikers Guide?

On the other hand "pandementionally" would sort of mean his whiteness goes across all demented people. That makes sense as well.

Speaking of Mittens, seems like his masters (NRO, WSJ) are pushing him to pick Paul Ryan as VP. Where to begin on that possibility.

marindenver said...

"and Willard lies with the carefree abandon one usually associates with the criminally insane."

Perfect. I've been unsure just how to characterize Mitt's constant stream of lies and this is just perfect.

"Speaking of Mittens, seems like his masters (NRO, WSJ) are pushing him to pick Paul Ryan as VP. Where to begin on that possibility."

I'm going to start by getting down on my knees and praying to all the gods that he'll really do it.

Anonymous said...

They don't trust Mitt because of his former views on abortion, gays, and guns. That's all on tape from his run against Kennedy.

e.a.f. said...

Mitt & Newt, sounds like a red neck comedy team. Oh, they wanted to be president of the U.S.A. & now one will settle for V.P. Only in american you say, thank god for that.

the salamander said...

I worry about you folks down there in the US of A (I'm up here in Canada) Any bad stuff that your political animals dream up.. seems to show up here toute suite (lickedy split as you might say) ..

Stuff like electoral grooming, vote suppression, complete louts, liars and dawgs getting a shot at being elected (you know, the rabid newts and mitts or nits) and talk radio - Limbog and fracking. What this about Romney having a koch problem? Does his mommy know this?

Anyways.. I felt real bad you had 8 years of Bush junior .. but now we're getting screwed for 8 years by our own smarmy Petro evangelist and his stinkin idiot loutpack with a hard-on for tar sands, pipelines, oil tankers and F-35's .. as if they're some kinda wannabe Saudi prince sheiks of the North.

Good luck jammin that creep Mittley back down the hole he slithered out of. I'll get back to you when we sort out the shite we somehow elected as emperor of Canada Eh ...

darkblack said...

Indeed, 'Canada'...a country currently maladministered by the David F. Brooks of federal politicians, offering the clueless marks profligate plundering masquerading as pious parsimony.
...But I digress.
The Newt angle is an interesting one - but I wonder how long a prudent late-game approach to message discipline aboard the S.S Romney Clownshoes would last, given Gingrich's need to fill up his ego like a hot air balloon at the least provocation.

Hmmm.

;>)

Cirze said...

I'm with darkblack.

Thanks for your stellar insights, sweetie!

S

a country currently maladministered by the David F. Brooks of federal politicians, offering the clueless marks profligate plundering masquerading as pious parsimony.