Wins this week's Skoal Rebel Award for unalloyed Conservative internet cluelessness.
See, Mr. George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville South Carolina had some very, very bad things to say about about Sandra Fluke. But rather than saying them on U.N.C.L.E. Channel "D", he said them to her on this thing called the "Twitter" that all the kids are into these days.
And then the Bad Thing happened.
Tbogg picks up the story here (and, I trust, in the spirit of Christian brotherhood, he will refrain from hiring a lawyer to a] take all my munnies away from me, and b] force me to remove from Teh Google all the stuff I am about to copy from his public statements. So, y'know, don't tort me, bro!):
Misunderstanding how the Twitter works, George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina seemed to think he was using his “inside voice” when speaking (twatting) to Ms. Fluke on Twitter only to find out, in a very round-about way, that she elected to retweet to her 36,000 followers what George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina had to say to her and she only did this because she is obviously racist against douchebags who like to shout stuff at ladies on the internet because, as we like to say: virtual manhood is better than no manhood at all.
Anyway, that is where I came in when I screen-capped the whole exchange and made a post out of it, which brings us to last week when George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina decided to google himself on the internet and OH HOLY SHIT! he is now kind of semi-famous for Doing Internet Swears At Ladies and now that all that money he spent on eHarmony is just fucking wasted because ladies will not want to go on a date with him ever ever again besides the fact that all he ever wants to talk about is golf which is like the third gayest sport ever. Besides, also: boring.
So eight days after I shared The Magic of George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina he wrote an email to my patron d’art, as follows:
Whoever runs this site needs to take my damn comments off of it. I did not give you permission, nor did you ask me for it. It shows up on google and I will see a lawyer if this doesnt disappear. Ask me before posting bullshit about me. You fuckers had no right.Adorable, right?
George Tierney Jr
This whole thing is really really funny in an obnoxious-clown-being-hit-by-a-pie-shaped-meteor kind of way, but to me the most delectable detail is Mr. George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville South Carolina's instant and absolutely predictable litigiousness.
Based on the wingnut bon mots Mr. George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville South Carolina has dropped all over The Twitter (on topics ranging from Obama's criminality and Socialism! to the c-word-ishness of various uppity women) I would speculate (irresponsibly of course) that there are may be at least one or two bar-stools in Greenville South Carolina which Mr. George Tierney may soiled (prior to his meteoric rise to internet stardom) while crapping himself over how this country has gone to the fucking dogs thanks to the god damn lawyers!
After all, hating "trial lawyers and "activist judges" and chalking everything wrong with Murrica (that you can't explain away using lazy Negroes, sinister Immigrants, uppity Wimmin and Dirty Hippies) up to a lack of Tort Reform is Conservative holy writ, and I doubt a real Conservative hero (and FreedomWorks retweeter..,and big fan of Facebook stalking) like Mr. George Tierney, Jr. of Greenville South Carolina would have left that box unchecked.
(I wonder if this is the same George Tierney, Jr. who was in business development/sales at recently-dissolved Sunland Staffing, Inc.? Or is a deacon at St. Mary's Catholic church in Greenville? Tbogg's commenters seems to think this might be so, but then they are just the shrill minions of a man who posts irresponsible things on the internet all the time, so who knows?)
Hey speaking of shrill of and irresponsible, remember culture warrior and good ol' boy, Trent Lott?
...As for me, I think it is pretty mind-blowing that we used to live in an America where people actually believed that such hypocrisy was something one could cure by the simple act of pointing it out, over and over again.
Trent Lott used to be an avid tort “reform” supporter. Here are some choice quotes from him:
"The Democrats seem to think that the answer is a lawsuit. Sue everybody." - Sen. Trent Lott, 7/20/01 "I'm among many Mississippi citizens who believe tort reform is needed." - Sen. Trent Lott, 5/8/02According to a former aide, Lott’s voting record on tort “reform” legislation usually echoed his rhetoric.
"You know, obviously we should [enact tort reform]...Someday it will happen, and the sooner the better." - Sen. Trent Lott, 1/24/01
" Sen. Trent Lott of Mississippi today credited the agenda of tax cuts, deregulation and tort reform initiatives passed by the Congress and signed into law by President Bush with the overall upturn in the national economy." - Sen. Trent Lott press release, 12/2/05
"If their answer to everything is more lawsuits, then yes, that's a problem, because I certainly don't support that." - Sen. Trent Lott, 8/2/02
"It's sue, sue, sue... That's not the answer." - Sen. Trent Lott, 8/4/01
However, when his own $400,000 house was destroyed in Katrina, and State Farm denied his claim, all of this rhetoric went out the window and he went straight to the courthouse. Indeed, he went straight to the courthouse with one of the most successful trial lawyers in the country who won a huge settlement against big tobacco, and who is hated by large corporations everywhere: his brother-in law Richard Scruggs.
When asked about his personal lawsuit Lott said:
"I'm interested in getting results that will help a lot of people, and I'm one of them. ... This was an important part of my life savings, and I just don't think that the response was one that I could accept."It is pretty mind-blowing that Lott can seriously take this stance given that he has at least publicly critiqued the ability to go to court for others...
But that America does not exist anywhere except in the churning journalistic bowels of David Brooks', reporting from some alternate universe where the excellent plans of Reasonable Conservatives are forever being thwarted by hairy Socialist monsters from the 1960s every bit as often as they are kicked to bits by Tea Party goofs.
Instead we live in an America crawling with Conservatives who believe that quoting their own words back to them is a million times more unfair than, say, slavery and that the greatest crime perpetrated on America is that Stoopid Librulz don't get it when they are kidding! (Seriously, what's wrong with the Left that they don't know what's funny?!)
We live in an America crawling Mr. George Tierney, Juniors of Greenville South Carolina.
UPDATE: The exciting saga continues here.