Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I Am Always Deeply Flattered


When yet a Conservative spokesdoid trips over his own dick in public and accidentally grabs just the wrong talking point from my archives to break his fall.

From CNN today, this exchange between John Fugelsang (Hey John!) and Willard Romney's Communications Director, Eric Fehrnstrom:
HOST: Is there a concern that Santorum and Gingrich might force the governor to tack so far to the right it would hurt him with moderate voters in the general election?

FEHRNSTROM: Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all of over again. 

From me, in 2010 writing about the GOP's abject dependence on Strategic Forgettery:
There is absolutely nothing left sifting around inside their mushy, angry skulls except that sparkly aluminum sand that good people at Ohio Arts use to make the Etch-a-Sketch.

Shake-shake-shake...and Ronald Reagan never sold weapons to terrorists, funded an illegal war, raised taxes four times, or left behind the largest deficit in American history up until that time.

Shake-shake-shake...and Bush the Elder never hired Lee Atwater.

Shake-shake-shake...and what Southern Strategy?

Shake-shake-shake...and George W. Bush is the Greatest President Ever, you filthy, Liberal traitors!

Shake-shake-shake...and where did you ever get the idea that anyone in the Conservative Movement supported that "Progressive" George W. Bush?

Shake-shake-shake...George Bush who?

Shake-shake-shake...Sarah Palin never supported the bailout!

Shake-shake-shake...Deficits don't matter.

Shake-shake-shake...Deficits are worse than six Hitlers!

Shake-shake-shake...the Kenyan Usurper's deficits are destroying America.

Shake-shake-shake...why do you keep calling me a "Republican"? I'm a Conservative!

Shake-shake-shake...why do you keep calling me a "Conservative"? I'm an Independent!

Shake-shake-shake...why do you keep calling me a "Independent"? I'm a Independent/Conservo/Libertarian!

To win elections, crush the New Deal and sell the United States into perpetual corporate serfdom, it was Ronald Reagan and the rest of the Conservative Elites who spent years and years and literally billions of dollars to create the infinitely reprogrammable army of imbeciles from which many of those same Conservative Elites now flee in horror.

And however hard they try, will never let them forget it.

With the exception of Ron Paul, every Republican candidate has run on a strategy of quickly co-opt the GOP base into helping them lie about their own past once they win the nomination because every Republican candidate knows that the past terrifies the Base.  In their bones, the Pig People know that if anyone starts seriously poking around back there, there's is no telling what swarm of terrifying "facts" might be unleashed to jump out of the dark and rip off their faces, which is why the have made their deal with Fox and the Devil to agree that history began on January 20, 2009, at around noon Eastern Standard Time.

Which is why, when asked about any event before  January 20, 2009, here is all the answer you will ever get.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

omg "strategic forgettery." ... I am so using that..... WITHOUT ATTRIBUTION! so sioux me.

Really Fantabulous.