No Herb In Horto

Daley gets draconic over chronic.

A snip from Steve Rhodes at NBC Chicago:

Pot Makes Daley Crazy Stroger may veto ticket law

By STEVE RHODES

I am so not high!

As if Todd Stroger couldn't make himself any less popular, he's now making noises about vetoing an ordinance passed by the Cook County Board that would ticket pot possessors instead of putting them in jail.

Stroger told WGN-AM that he "didn't think it's such a great idea."

Under the plan, those caught with 10 grams or less would pay a $200 fine and be done with it.

"I'm not really an advocate of trying to decriminalize the drug that people start before they move on to the higher stuff," Stroger said.

Like Scotch?

Meanwhile, Mayor Richard M. Daley appeared to be on acid while reacting to the idea.

"People say you cannot smoke . . . they said, ‘Please don’t smoke.’ Now, everybody’s saying, ‘Let’s all smoke marijuana'."

Dude! Chill.

“Pretty soon, the headline [will be], ‘Let’s bring cigarettes back. It makes people feel calmer, quieter, relaxing' . . . We said you cannot smoke cigarettes. Cigarette smoking is bad for you. Now all the sudden, marijuana smoking is good for you. Can we take Lucky Strikes, mix ‘em together and say, ‘Smoking is coming back in the United States?’”

Um, okay . . .

While it may seem odd that the Mayor of a city with a name derived from a term for "skunk"

The name “Chicago” derives from a word in the language spoken by the Miami and Illinois peoples meaning “striped skunk, ” a word they also applied to the wild leek (known to later botanists as Allium tricoccum).

and whose former chief of staff's last name is pronounced "stash" would get so bug-eyed over something as harmless and progressive as decriminalizing pot, what ace reporter Steve Rhodes conveniently forgets it was the devil weed of marijuana that made the evil hippie anarchists go crazy during four days in late August of 1968 and violently smash their heads against the innocent billy clubs of Richard the First's peace loving Chicago cops on national teevee in 1968, leaving Da Mare's national reputation in tatters.

Mr. Rhodes also manages to overlook all the secondary damage caused by the contact high Da Mare got from the clouds of Satan Smoke caused when it floated in from the parks; a shattering hallucinogenic experience that addled Old Man Daley so badly that when he tried to explain his enlightened and diplomatic offer to ease tensions and serve supper to all those bestial, hirsute hippy ingrates --

"The police would like to take your order. Would you like hors d'oeuvres for starters?"

-- it came out horribly garbled and mistranslated s the now-infamous,

"Da police are not here to create disorder. Dey are here to preserve disorder."

But R2D2 remembers. Remembers all too well. He was at his father's side all through the dark days of the 1968 Apotalypse and it was very rude of reporters to mention a subject which is so triggering for Hizzoner.

Of course all of this would evaporate like early morning dew if Da Mare found out this afternoon that legalizing chronic would increase his chances of scoring the 2016 Olympics by 2%.

Were that to happen -- as everyone here knows -- by Monday morning, 8:00 AM, this would be the view from the

City Hall roof garden.

This would be the new

Chicago City flag.

And Da Mare himself would be cutting PSAs on the safe and proper use of a

"chickaga 'lympic torch".