As we pick our way through the landscape of rubble, failure and debt that 30 years of Conservatism has left in it wake -- pushing our brooms and shaking our heads -- it is important to keep our sense of humor. And I gotta tell you, other than, say, Bill Kristol cranked to the gills on X trying desperately to lick peanut butter off of Bill O’Reilly’s bald spot, there is nothing funnier than watching a recently apostatized Conservative “independent” who Suddenly!Discovers! his Party is being run by degenerate lunatics going completely “Mercy land-sakes alive, where did alla these bah-barians evah come from!” apostal ™ .
One such Conservative “independent” is Larry Gellman, who was brought to my attention by his fellow-traveling Apostlican ™, Andrew Sullivan.
Oh my, but theirs is quite the six-hanky tale of woe my friends.
Larry is all a-weep and bewildered, having discovered that his beautiful, sunlit Conservative “independent” Eloi Randite split-level, Rancho del Utopia was sitting atop terrible machineries operated by , bitey, Conservative Morlock freaks
"but strong, smart women terrify me, so I did not speak out"
The misogyny of Plastic Jesus himself, and his horde of chicken-hearted rowdy male followers, all of them adolescent-minded regardless of their number of completed solar orbits, has shown dismally that this particular sort of mental illness is not confined to Elephascists.
A plague on both the major parties, I'm voting Green this time.
@Monster of ID... a wasted vote no doubt, but yours to use as you wish.
@drifty... brilliant post on the so-called independents. I particularly liked the way to parsed and refuted their hands off views on the coming political storm and how they're now seeking shelter. Fuck 'em I say. Let them get soaked.
Then I suppose you won't mind 4 more years of republican rule, but this time with more potential for The Rapture, especially if McGrumpy croaks in office. God knows that wouldn't be any different than what Obama would have served up, right?
Stringonastick: I do not like the idea of more Elephascist rule, but neither am I terrified of it. I remember people saying "OMFSM Ronnie Reagan's gonna blow up the world OHNOES OHNOES OHNOES" aaaaand--he didn't. I have no use for Prez Bonzo--may Cthulhu excrete on his grave--but I survived him, and I can survive Prez McCain or Palin, if either happens.
I will not reward the GOP for their bad behavior by voting McCain/Palin, but neither will I reward the smirking misogynist Obama and his horde of rowdy "young" men [quotation marks because while they all have adolescent minds, not all of them are literally young] for THEIR bad behavior. I was a young man once, but I don't recall that I was ever rowdy, or disrespectful of women, so I have scant patience at best with those who are. Indeed, this election has planted a loathing of Young-And-Dumb-And-Full-Of-Shit male talking apes in my soul that I suspect will last the rest of my days, and I will likely vote for whomever promises to keep the YADAFOS rowdies in line.
brilliant Drifty. Larry can only lift the blindfold high enough to see the recent past, but if he acknowledges conservative failure any further back, how will he mend his broken heart?
12 comments:
I have to thank you for this, dg.
Even as I steal a bit of it...
"but strong, smart women terrify me, so I did not speak out"
The misogyny of Plastic Jesus himself, and his horde of chicken-hearted rowdy male followers, all of them adolescent-minded regardless of their number of completed solar orbits, has shown dismally that this particular sort of mental illness is not confined to Elephascists.
A plague on both the major parties, I'm voting Green this time.
@Monster of ID... a wasted vote no doubt, but yours to use as you wish.
@drifty... brilliant post on the so-called independents. I particularly liked the way to parsed and refuted their hands off views on the coming political storm and how they're now seeking shelter. Fuck 'em I say. Let them get soaked.
I refuse to reward either the Elephascists or the Demagogues for their thuggish behaviors.
Then I suppose you won't mind 4 more years of republican rule, but this time with more potential for The Rapture, especially if McGrumpy croaks in office. God knows that wouldn't be any different than what Obama would have served up, right?
A plague on both the major parties
I believe we've covered this many times in previous installments. But "oh, well."
You post like that AND mention a Margaret Atwood novel?
Bastiid. (Love on ya Drifty it's sa'wesome as usual.)
i could have written that, if i had a 100 monkeys and a 100 years.
thanks for shortcutting it, driftglass.
Stringonastick: I do not like the idea of more Elephascist rule, but neither am I terrified of it. I remember people saying "OMFSM Ronnie Reagan's gonna blow up the world OHNOES OHNOES OHNOES" aaaaand--he didn't. I have no use for Prez Bonzo--may Cthulhu excrete on his grave--but I survived him, and I can survive Prez McCain or Palin, if either happens.
I will not reward the GOP for their bad behavior by voting McCain/Palin, but neither will I reward the smirking misogynist Obama and his horde of rowdy "young" men [quotation marks because while they all have adolescent minds, not all of them are literally young] for THEIR bad behavior. I was a young man once, but I don't recall that I was ever rowdy, or disrespectful of women, so I have scant patience at best with those who are. Indeed, this election has planted a loathing of Young-And-Dumb-And-Full-Of-Shit male talking apes in my soul that I suspect will last the rest of my days, and I will likely vote for whomever promises to keep the YADAFOS rowdies in line.
stringonastick - The only wasted vote is the one cast in support of the past.
brilliant Drifty. Larry can only lift the blindfold high enough to see the recent past, but if he acknowledges conservative failure any further back, how will he mend his broken heart?
...masturbate to Rush Limbaugh
There is not enough bleach in the world to cleanse my brain of that visual! (Runs screaming into the forest...)
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