Friday, August 11, 2017

Today In Clueless Privileged White Guys Gassing On and On: David Brooks (Now With Extra Andrew Sullivan!)

Mr. Brooks has packed so much stupid into his contractually-obligated 800 word today that I suspect he had to borrow The New York Times' industrial blither-compactor just to get it all in.

And for the record, I agree with pretty much every "WTF?" take on the Twitter Machine this morning by the many patriotic Americans who are just waking up to the fact that David Brooks a) actually exists, b) is actually paid real money by The New York Times to write things, c) is an idiot and d) has been paid real money by The New York Times to write idiotic things for going on 14 years.

14 years.

Of course, as longtime, premium, Platinum-level readers, you are no doubt already familiar with Mr. Brooks writing process: To wit, crawling through his many "piles" --
I lay it out on the floor of my office in piles of paper. Every pile is a paragraph. I pick up a pile. Write that paragraph. Throw that pile of paper in the garbage. And then repeat for all the piles. By the time I start writing, the column is already 80 percent done. It’s the organizing of the piles that’s the key process. The only thing is, judges have a saying: “that opinion won’t write itself.”
-- while calling for his houseboy Manolo to keep those god damn Pink Ladies coming.

And as longtime premium, Platinum-level readers, you are no doubt equally familiar with the stringent managerial oversight process used at The New York Times to keep an eye on employees like Mr. David Brooks:
The upsides of the job are that he can literally do whatever he wants. “I’ve never attended a meeting at the Times. We can write about anything. I’ve been at the Times for over a decade; I’ve never had a performance review. We can go anywhere we want. And we are just left alone.”
So don't worry, I'm already way ahead of you.   You're asking yourself,  "Who better to weigh in up to his chinny-chin-chin on what does or does not constitute a hostile workplace environment...

...for women... the tech sector...

...than a wildly overpaid, clueless, middle-aged white guy who phones his work in from home, has never been answerable to anyone for anything on the job, and who is so freaked out by feedback that he has his minions read his comment section for him?"
What it's like to be a conservative columnist at the New York Times

ASPEN, Colo. — New York Times columnist David Brooks gets a lot of hate mail. And he doesn't read the comments section.

"I used to read them, but it was just too psychologically damaging," Brooks said in an interview with Yahoo News' Katie Couric at the Aspen Ideas Festival on Tuesday. "So then I would ask my assistant to read them."

Brooks was shocked at the volume of "punishingly negative" comments when he joined the Times in 2003...
Well, Mr. Brooks has not failed you, because this morning he went cannon-balling straight into the deep end of yet another subject about which he knows absolutely nothing.

This about covers it:

So that's one.

Now add to that the fact that Mr. David Brooks -- a man who sucks so comprehensively at his job that gravitational singularities have been known to buy him lunches at fancy Italian sammich bistros just to seek his advice -- is actually suggesting with a straight face that some other human on the Earth should be replaced because, in Mr. Brooks' opinion, they suck at their job.
NY Times Columnist David Brooks Urges Google CEO to Resign 
“There are many actors in the whole Google/diversity drama, but I’d say the one who’s behaved the worst is the C.E.O., Sundar Pichai,” columnist says..

So that's two.

But my absolute favorite is the inevitable manifestation of Mr. Brooks' helpless addiction to the Big Lie of Both Siderism.  An addiction so desperately, DT-alcoholic deep that it is almost literally impossible for Mr. Brooks to write a single fucking column without finding a way to ham-handedly jam it in there sideways.

And so, ready...
The mob that hounded Damore was like the mobs we’ve seen on a lot of college campuses.
We all have our theories about why these moral crazes are suddenly so common. I’d say that radical uncertainty about morality, meaning and life in general is producing intense anxiety. 
We are at a moment when mobs on the left and the right ignore evidence and destroy scapegoats. That’s when we need good leaders most.
And that's three.

Did I mention that he has been getting paid a fortune to extrude this dreck for going on 14 years now?

And speaking of "Fire!", every week or so for the past twelve years, after thoroughly documenting the relentless and predictable wrongness of Mr. David Brooks on many different topics, I have asked this same, simple question over and over again:  why the fuck does this man still have a job?

Seriously, who exactly is this mope's "clout" (as we say in Illinois) and why exactly is some Prince of Darkness protecting him from on high from the tender mercies of the competitive marketplace?

In fact, in the past twelve years I have asked that question about a lot of oafish, talentless creative typists who have all but destroyed nuanced, grown-up political discourse in out county, but for some reason have a permanent, no-questions-asked seat reserved at the table of our media's national political dialogue.

And I have never once gotten an answer.


If there is one thing Gay Catholic Tory True Conservatives cannot resist, it's the opportunity burnish their contrarian/independent bona fides by kicking the hated Leftists in the shins.

Especially, feminist leftists!

From Mr. Andrew Sullivan:
In attempting to create “diversity,” left-feminists are attempting to deny actual diversity. They are attempting to argue that all humans are utterly interchangeable, that there are no differences between men and women, which is to say, in some way, that men and women do not actually exist. It’s a crazy idea, barren and empty, bitter and cramped, draining the world of its color and variety and difference. And yet we have to conform to it...or lose our jobs.
Really?  We have to conform to it...or lose our jobs.

Trust me, Andrew, you don't have a single thing to worry about.  Because if the last 20 years have proven one thing beyond any doubt it is this: even in the event of a nuclear war, three relics of this world will prove to be absolutely indestructible -- cockroaches, Twinkies and people willing to pay mopes like Andrew Sullivan to write silly shit on whatever is left of the internet.

Behold, a Tip Jar!


RUKidding said...

I thought DFBs just quit, or is it: "retired to go spend time with my non-existent family"?? At least, that appears to be the going yabber out here on the Internet. I can't be stuffed to read his "column."

Some people are praising DFBs "writing style" while decrying the content. I decry both.

The Oligarch's have handsomely rewarded this entitled, unintelligent, pathetically clueless, worthless scumbag to scrawl down drivel - NOT intellingently written - about??? Who the eff knows? It's been personally embarressing to me, as a white person, to read some of the clips from his "column," as I find him an insufferable, egotistical bore.

If DFBs is finally wandering off to what I'm sure he considers his "just rewards," thank the dawg that we can finally be rid of his pandering bullshit which, in no small measuer, has brought Trump to being our "President."

DFBs pretends he's horrified by Trump. Why? Isn't this what DFBs wanted, after all? A bunch of white supremacists who are large and in charge? OR does that notion of the ravening hoardes make DFBs country club twit sphincter clench in horror? Oh dear. The veddy idea that those white trailer trash yokels are in charge now? Yeah, well, that's what happened, DFBs, and I hold YOU personally responsible for this awful mess.

GFY, Brooks.

trgahan said...

Well, what else would the man who tone policed Coates about race relations in America going to write, especially when he can bring up an already discredited field of study like evolutionary phycology?

Damore's Memo is why I laugh out loud when people say the Tech Industry is progressive and going to be the fuel of future Democratic politics. For every Gates, the Tech industry creates 50 right wing, aggrieved white male millionaires still pissed that instead of just blowing them in the server room like they asked, the intern reported them to HR.

dinthebeast said...

"I used to read them, but it was just too psychologically damaging,"

So that's what happened to you. Should have bailed before the symptoms were so severe.

-Doug in Oakland

Enheduanna Pax said...

Wow - Sullivan actually goes there - "bitter and cramped"...


John said...

Brooks: "The mob that hounded Damore was like the mobs we’ve seen on a lot of college campuses."

What mobs at college campuses? I work on a college campus, and I do not generally see mobs. What's he talking about? Now I have seen dramatic and somewhat violent demonstrations, say, against Milo Yiannopoulos, at my campus. But, as far as I could tell, the violent people were from off campus.

This whole notion that college campuses are dominated by leftie p.c. police is so exaggerated. There are a few egregious examples, I suppose, here and there, but the truth is that universities in their very structure are right-wing. They are thuggish hierachies where administrators regularly crush any voice raised against them. And while there may be some easily sensationalized examples of overreaction to racist or sexist incidents, such things are really pretty rare when you consider how many millions of people are in involved in higher education.

I suspect Brooks may be miffed because he is so hated among the sorts of smarty pants people that hang out at colleges and universities.

trgahan said...

Jesus H. Christ Sully....Burning Man needs to hire you for the straw women you just built. But what do we expect from a self-proclaimed intellectually lazy DC shut in.

But please, oh great conservative intellectuals, since you brought it up, show me the evidence/studies that prove social, cultural, gender homogeny at work leads to better outcomes. Not the half assed attempts to prove "diversity" doesn't work, but the proof that your anti-diversity does. Take your time. I'll wait.

Neo Tuxedo said...

I suspect Brooks may be miffed because he is so hated among the sorts of smarty pants people that hang out at colleges and universities.

Or maybe he's not actually miffed at all. He just knows that this particular flavor of red meat goes down well with the people who still fear the Dirty Hippie Ghost of Woodstock, that well-known Communist Trojan Horse in Our Schools, and whose mental image of secular universities is of naked women throwing Molotov cocktails.

John said...

Ha, ha, Neo Tuxedo! Sadly, I spent, like, ten years at Berkeley, and not once saw Molotov cocktail launching naked women. I now feel cheated.

Pablo in the Gazebo said...

It's always good to have a second opinion.

Robt said...

Who in the republican/ conservative BASE actually read (including comprehend) David Brooks?

What self loathing disrespectful alternative facts conservative BASE droid would be caught holding a NYT paper? More apt to get caught proudly in bed with their sister.

Who do you folks think is Brooks' target audience?

Definately not dittoheads or Tea Potters. Infowars Sandyhook deniers nor the Breitbart white supremacist brotherhood.
Is it the Wall Street financial criminal crowd?

Perhaps the FOXY Chris Wallace and Bill Kristol Hog lot princes types?

Lit3Bolt said...

James Damore can now be a conservative princeling for life.

I'm sure he's already received thousands of dollars of donations and generous support. His speaking fees alone are already in five digits. He could write a book and be instantly published.

But Brooks and Sullivan want to "go there" by holding this one white tech-bro up against...

...thousands of years of women being abused on the job for reasons.

Sorry. Not convinced.

Belvoir said...

crazy .., barren and empty, bitter and cramped, draining the world of its color and variety and difference.

Andrew Sullivan's opinion of women, ladies and gents.

Jimbo said...

Excellent rant about the long since useless Brooks but Sullivan's comment is really amazingly bad and grossly ignorant. See Yatreblyansky's column and his comments section for a really informed discussion. Sully is just a lazy troll at this point. (Also gave you a bit of quatloos today).

Dr.BDH said...

I am a gentle and loving person and, were I put in charge of sorting out the fates of people like Brooks and Sullivan, I would put them on a Carnival cruise ship with an endless buffet of salmonella and norovirus and it would circle temptingly close to the shores of a civilized society where sirens would hale them on megaphones saying, "Shits to be you!"