Monday, December 12, 2016

The Return of the Night of the Long Knaves


Last year, while Donald Trump's Pussy Grabber Express was gearing up to destroy --
...the deepest bench [Republican] had in decades. Bill Kristol, the editor of the Weekly Standard, counts some 26 potential candidates: “John Bolton, Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, John Kasich, Pete King, Mike Pence, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney, Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan, Rick Santorum, Joe Scarborough, Scott Walker, and Allen West … Dick Cheney, Tom Cotton, Mitch Daniels, Joni Ernst, Newt Gingrich, and Rudy Giuliani.”
-- and all the Beltway's Very Serious People were laughing up their sleeves the very idea of a Trump candidacy, certain Liberals internet dregs were noticing that Il Douche was successfully flummoxing the Beltway Big Brains by deploying exactly same deflection-by-ratings tactics Fox News used to get around the touchy subject of Bill O'Reilly being a lying sack of shit.

In case you weren't yet born, back in early '15 I think it was, Fox News was having a fine old time pounding the shit out of Brian Williams for telling a few lies.   They were relentless, taking that High Dudgeon-Vator all the way to the penthouse and dropping refrigerators on him, until, at last, the pressure they generated became untenable and Williams was forced to quit.

But there was a small hitch.

One of Roger Ailes' top earners -- a blotchy, Irish liar and rage-monster named Bill O'Reilly -- had also been caught red-handed telling several whoppers of his own, which certainly could have made Fox News look like towering hypocrites and gradually humiliated them into sacking Bill-O the Clown if anyone on the left were capable of the kind of single-minded, full-bore, take-no-prisoners siege that is Fox News' stock-in-trade.

Sadly, other than a few stabs at it by the Kindly Doctor Maddow and several more stabs at it by powerless internet nobodies, no such siege was ever mounted and, as such, Ailes knew all he had to do was dig in, give no quarter, and eventually it would all blow over and everyone would agree to forget it.  Here is what I wrote at the time:
But eventually Bill O'Reilly being a notorious liar and douchebag stopped being a thing.  And the sad part was, lots of us disreputable Liberals knew this fight was over before it had begun because Fox News has a very clearly established protocol for dealing with people who attack their on-air celebrities:
  1. Double down and insist that you are 100% blameless.
  2. Mercilessly attack the reporter(s) who raise the issue.
  3. I was joking!  Can't you pussies take a fucking joke?
  4. Double down again and demand that they owe you an apology.
  5. Brag about your ratings, because on teevee those are the ultimate arbiters of right and wrong.
And it worked, because of course it worked.  Because time and again Fox News has shown it will hunker down forever and never give an inch in defense of its on-air thugs and trollops (from CNN Money, February 2015) -- 
Bill O'Reilly has 'full support' from Fox News chief

With its biggest star facing damaging allegations, Fox News is putting up a united front.

A spokeswoman said network executives are in Bill O'Reilly's corner, in a statement to several media outlets.

"Fox News Chairman and C.E.O. Roger Ailes and all senior management are in full support of Bill O'Reilly," the spokeswoman said.

Fox News did not respond to CNNMoney's requests for comment.

O'Reilly, the top rated host in cable news, has been forced to defend himself since Thursday, when a report from Mother Jones cast doubt on claims he has made about his time covering the Falklands War for CBS News in 1982. At the time, O'Reilly and his CBS News colleagues were based in Buenos Aires -- far from the Falkland Islands, where most of the fighting took place.
...
-- while MSNBC has shown time and again is lacks both the guts and the strategic interest necessary to engage in siege warfare with the orcs.  Hell, MSNBC prexy Phil Griffin already cedes three hours a day, every day, to a Fox News Lite punk named Joe Scarborough, so why should anyone who works there believe for one second that Griffin will have their back if they go after the Ailes Borg Collective itself?

And so, right on schedule, the Billo-The-Liar story crawled under the porch and died.  leaving Mr. O'Reilly free to go on the Letterman show and declare himself fully vindicated and then get back to the important work of pandering to racists, slandering Planned Parenthood and encouraging the mentally unstable to murder abortion providers. 
I pointed out at the time that in the first Republican primary debate, Donald Trump was succeeding by deploying exactly the same tactics...
...because Donald Trump is not only a Fox News veteran but the living embodiment of the average Fox News viewer's id, he knows that there is a very clearly established protocol for dealing with people who attack highly-rated on-air celebrities:
  1. Double down and insist that you are 100% blameless.
  2. Mercilessly attack the reporter(s) who raise the issue.
  3. I was joking!  Can't you pussies take a fucking joke?
  4. Double down again and demand that they owe you an apology.
  5. Brag about your ratings, because on teevee those are the ultimate arbiters of right and wrong.
And it's working, because of course it's working.  Because Fox News has spent 20 years and hundreds of millions of dollars training the Pig People to automatically rally to the defense of any bombastic Fox News asshole with high ratings who says he being unfairly attacked and invokes this protocol. 
Which brings us to Fox News Sunday this week, where this little gem caught my eye.

Once again, Donald Trump finds himself cornered by a very inconvenient truth:
CHRIS WALLACE:  According to The Washington Post, the CIA has concluded that Russia intervened in the election to help you win the presidency.  Your reaction?
Once again, he deflects by accusing his accusers:
DONALD TRUMP, R-PRESIDENT-ELECT:  I think it's ridiculous.  I think it's just another excuse.  I don't believe it.  I don't know why, and I think it's just -- you know, they talked about all sorts of things.  Every week, it's another excuse. ... 
And once again, he bellows about his awesome fucking numbers.
DONALD TRUMP, R-PRESIDENT-ELECT: ...We had a massive landslide victory, as you know, in the Electoral College. I guess the final numbers are now at 306. She's down to a very low number.
And once again, the Pig People will sop it up with a biscuit and ask for seconds.

See, Fox News and Hate Radio have not revolutionized politics so much as they have debased the noble art of lying.  You see, like Mark Twain, I believe in...
...the Lie, as a Virtue, A Principle, is eternal; the Lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend, is immortal, and cannot perish from the earth while this club remains. 
My complaint is that, by dumbing the Republican base down to the level of farm animals who are simply too stupid to realize when obvious and incompetent liars piss in their faces and razor out their pockets over and over again, Fox News and Hate Radio have debased this subtle and ancient art possibly beyond repair.  Twain again:
No high-minded man, no man of right feeling, can contemplate the lumbering and slovenly lying of the present day without grieving to see a noble art so prostituted.
Damn straight, Mark old friend.  

Damn straight.

7 comments:

duquesnepdx said...

GODDAMNIT. Blogger ate my first attempt at this. It was really long. But I’ll attempt to recreate the last part.
You know, in a few years when the ACA is but a fond memory, Medicare has been turned into coupons for $5 off at Little Caesar’s, after the Social Security fund gets dumped into an overinflated stock market which subsequently crashes, and we’re scrounging for dented cans in the ruins of a grocery store strip mall, if I hear someone say, “but I didn’t believe Putin’s fascist oompa loompa puppet was going to do all of the things that he said he was going to do!”, I’m going to have some very harsh words for them. With a brick.

I figured it out. The preview function is broken. If you preview your comment and then try to edit it, I hope you have it written in some word processor outside of the comment window.

Habitat Vic said...

As you've noted before/often, logic & facts have no place on Fox News. Look at that clip. There are four - count'em, four! - leggy women in short skirts leaning back on that couch. Heck, one is even a niggrah (with enough good sense to have her hair straightened), so take that Libtards! No racists here, no sir. Those legs!

I'm sorry, what were you saying?

Tom Sunday said...

Will McAvoy said it best... "If Liberals are so fucking smart how come they lose you god damn always?" and the answer of course is right here; "...if anyone on the left were capable of the kind of single-minded, full-bore, take-no-prisoners siege that is Fox News' stock-in-trade. Everything that has been done for the common man in this country has been the result of a liberal progressive agenda and somehow no one can make any hay out of that.

proverbialleadballoon said...

What Tom Sunday said. We need to repeatedly hammer a point. Russian Medal of Friendship honoree Tex Tillerson (he's the Texan from the Simpsons right? this is such a Fing cartoon) tapped for Sec of State. Russian conflicts of interest. Question the patriotism of Trump, Tillerson, and anyone who voted for him. Turn the tables on who the real patriots are, using the Tex Tillerson tap.

Robt said...

Night of the Knaves is more like the night of the legs.

Do these (achem) FOX journalist realize or even care that every time they go on air that there is some old guy flopping it while watching them on FOX fantasizing how they are Roger Ailes and each and every one of these (achem) journalists earned their journalistic degree as Roger Ailes interns . On their knees or some Kama Sutra position to please professor Ailes enough to sign their degree. Oh, and pay them.

Yes, Conservatism means your never guilty of your actions therefore cannot be held accountable and responsibility is for liberals who did not oppose enough or obstruct enough or could not reason a conservative from utter incompetence or plain greed and lying that harms Americans..

What is not ever pressed enough is that the GOP has and is first. Country Liberty, economics etc, etc is always beneath the top of the Totem Pole.

Never seen a mirror at FOX. They must rely on hired make up artists. Because FOX and conservatism never has reflection of themselves..

trgahan said...

"...the Pig People will sop it up with a biscuit and ask for seconds.."

The recounts and Russia hacking are giving the Pig People their long sought after "Look at the Liberals whine cause they lost! HAHAHAHA" high five moment. The truth simply doesn't matter in what Russia did or didn't do because A) all things are acceptable/justified/necessary if it puts Republicans in power and B) the Pig People have loved Putin since Bush looked in his eyes and he put that illegitimate N#$@$ in his place during Crimea.

Republicans aren't going to lose votes if there is never another shovel full of coal coming out of Appalachia, the infrastructure bill is just a bunch of corporate tax breaks, or oil company's are allowed to staff rig crews with illegals to make drilling in the U.S. profitable at $75 a barrel.

Robt said...

The best journalism comes from a couch. Full of women wearing short dresses. We know they are at the top of the journalistic field by the high heels they wear. Legs crossed to prove on air their conservatism and heels to signify the journalistic degrees.

And they do this everyday, from the couch in NYC. most likely get their scopes from the bars nearby before and after their toiling day with Roger Ailes Replacement.

You didn't think Ailes wouldn't have a pinch hit-on-her on the bench did you?

Where is the news report(s) that all that stopped with Ailes departure?