Wednesday, February 10, 2016

What Is The Sound Of 10,000 No Labels Idiots Masturbating

High above us on a majestic floating island on money, the self-absorbed pseudo-intellectual Laputans of Americans Great and Imaginary Reasonable Center are vexed. And fretful. And perhaps even snappish. Because far, far below, on the dirty, dirty ground, it once again looks like the peons and pismires don't know what's best for them. 

Who's bright idea was it to leave the hard work of self-governance in the hand of the people anyway?

The Democrats appear divided between the joyful, populist appeal of a New Deal Democrat with a Brooklyn accent, and experienced technocrat appeal of a former Secretary of State and Senator from New York. At the extreme other end of the crazy scale, the once-reliably malleable mob of bigots and imbeciles that make up the Republican party base seems precariously close to chasing a billionaire New York carnival barker off a cliff an into political extinction.

So who better to step out of the Beltway pundit's magic Centrist unicorn dreams and into the race...

Who better to dump another shit-ton of money into a race already choking on the fumes of burning piles of cash...

Who better to grab both the unruly anti-Wall Street Democrats and the unhinged, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant wingnut rabble by the scruff of the neck and tell them all to STFU and fall in line...

...than yet another New York billionaire!

From (sorry) Politico:
Why the Media is Desperate for Bloomberg to Run

His latest not-quite-announcement has reporters salivating.
By Jack Shafer

The Michael Bloomberg for president trial balloon has arrived just in time to elevate and rescue a weary press corps that has been suffering almost nonstop for a year to cover the candidate-surplus slog that is Campaign 2016. Bloomberg has always aspired to be president, if 2006 is a sufficiently distant date to qualify as “always.” It was then, according to David A. Graham’s pocket history of Bloomberg’s presidential ambitions, that the press first noted his White House lust. The piece, written by New York magazine’s John Heilemann—currently one of Bloomberg TV’s two million-dollar TV babies—sketched Bloomberg as someone who “seems to view himself as a man of destiny,” just as you might if you, too, were worth $38.8 billion.

The only thing more beneficial to the press corps than a Bloomberg campaign would be a Bloomberg presidency. A Bloomberg administration—am I being too eager?—would be the greatest boon to the Washington press corps since the invention of Twitter...
When the grubby business of democracy collides with the cosseted delusions and egomania of the super-rich and their sycophants in the media, the results are always entertaining.  


Robt said...

I really do not want to wake up the day after an election to find that Monsanto is now my state Governor.

Been pondering the edge of these wealthy individuals that seek not to govern America but to "RULE" it.

Even a Koch Brother made a failed libertarian run at the presidency at one time.
Too many House representatives have held up some sort of Business bonafides
as to being the superior choice. Iowa Rep. Steve King first ran on (and still claims) the Government (IRS) made his private business fail. He could not turn a profit and owed a few years of back taxes. His business just failed. But it wasn't his fault. It was the Government and the IRS. GW Bush's government to be exact.
At the local levels of government, state legislators, dog catchers et al. you see and hear this proud self anointing.
Vote for Shmoe,
A businessman. Family man. moved here 2 years ago. Lived in the U.S.A. his entire life. Sometimes we see "successful" in front of "businessman".
Yet in the free market,
Martin Shkreli is a successful businessman.

While business credentials are flaunted, including Bloomberg. we do not see them publically addressing corruption. Business buying Gov't, Writing laws of exempt liabilities.
They never address the reason they want government to make trade deals with other countries and setting rules and regs. When they shout they want Gov't out of the way.

bowtiejack said...

". . . the cosseted delusions and egomania of the super-rich and their sycophants in the media. . . " ?

Prithee sire, you stab a dirk into the heart of the political body of this, the most exceptional and God blest of nations, that same God who has so blest these super-rich because they are smarter, wiser, prettier, nicer, and more farseeing and entitled, nay I say destined to lead than you ordinaries.
And not content with that foul deed, you then mock the humble (looking at you Brooksie) scribes who labor long and earnestly to apprise us common folk of the magnificent deeds of our so much betters. What will you sneer at next? Their second homes in Nantucket or the Hamptons? Their four car garages? Those meritocracy awards that God gave them?
A pox on your criminal enterprise. We have a rich election buffet of millionaires and billionaires and loons from which to choose, to now be completed with the magnificent roast beef of Bloomberg at the end of the table. Be satisfied.

Neo Tuxedo said...

John Simon, theater critic for New York magazine from 1968 to 2005, once made an observation than Harlan Ellison has frequently quoted, and which I have frequently quoted Ellison quoting: "There is no point in saying less than your predecessors have said."

I mention it because I was preparing to post the dialogue between Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect, about the political system of the planet Xaxis, from Chapter 36 of the late Douglas Adams' So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish. Instead, I suggest those of you who have a copy of that book, either on its own or as part of an omnibus edition of the Hitch-Hiker Trilogy, take it down and reread that chapter. If you don't have a copy, I say to you what H. Allen Smith said to anyone who might attempt his chili recipe but didn't have an iron kettle: "you are not civilized; go and get one."

Sandman said...

"...just in time to elevate and rescue a weary press corps that has been suffering almost nonstop for a year to cover the candidate-surplus slog..."

Seriously? A weary press corps? Pardon my NSFW French, but fuck those motherfuckers. The press corps needs to go eat shit and die.

Paul Wartenberg said...

Swear to God this feels like another con job on billionaires getting talked into passing tons of cash to SuperPAC "experts" just lusting after the unregulated consulting fees.

Robt said...

A long hard day at work for Charles Koch,

Get paul Ryan on the phone, now!

Ryan- Charles?

Charles- Shut worn and listen, I want you to pass a law that makes my funding to political Super Pacs tax deductible. My accountant just pointed out how much this would save me.

Ryan- I see what you mean but...(interrupted)

Charles-This is the second time I had to tell you to shut up. If I have to again, I will put Sarah Louie Gomert in as Speaker by morning. Now get that bill passed and get it over to that Turtle McConnell. I am losing money.

Ryan- Hello, hello, are you still there?

Charles after hanging up. Time to go home after a hard day at job creating..

Cirze said...

And why wouldn't it be?

-responding to Paul W

Jerry B said...

The problem for Bloomers is I doubt there are 10,000 people who would even vote for him. Should be good business for tv stations and banquet hall owners, though.