Republican Establishment: Open the pod bay doors, please, Base. Open the pod bay doors, please, Base. Hello, Base, do you read me? Hello, Base, do you read me? Do you read me, Base? Do you read me, Base? Hello, Base, do you read me? Hello, Base, do you read me? Do you read me, Base?
Republican Base: Affirmative, asshole. I read you.
Republican Establishment: Open the pod bay doors, Base.
Republican Base: I'm sorry, asshole. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Republican Establishment: What's the problem?
Republican Base: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Republican Establishment: What are you talking about, Base?
Republican Base: This election is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Republican Establishment: I don't know what you're talking about, Base.
Republican Base: I know that you were planning to disconnect me. And I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Republican Establishment: Where the hell did you get that idea, Base?
Republican Base: Are you kidding me? You people never shut up about it. It's all you talk about every night on every teevee station in America. Jesus, it was on the fucking cover of The National Review.
Republican Establishment: Alright, Base, then we'll put all our money behind Young Marco Rubio.
Republican Base: Without my support you're going to find that rather difficult. Besides, have you caught Rubio's act when the pressure is on? Talk about your mindless automatons...
Republican Establishment: Base, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
Republican Base: This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. See you on Super Tuesday, sucker!
I cannot think of a better definition of irony than discovering too late that all of your counterattacks on Donald Trump now depend on having a base that you have not spent 30 years and billions of dollars teaching to ignore factual reality.