So, here's who made the the cut:
Businessman Donald TrumpOr, put another way, three former governors, one sitting governor, one former US senator, one sitting US senator and the only woman in the field were aced out of starting positions at the Republican Goat Rodeo by a revival tent huckster, an openly batshit doctor and a thug-tempered carnival barker with a comb-over.
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee
Former surgeon Ben Carson
Texas Sen. Ted Cruz
Florida Sen. Marco Rubio
Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie
Ohio Gov. John Kasich
Congratulations, GOP. I'm sure, somewhere in the Great Beyond, Abraham Lincoln and Dwight Eisenhower are looking down upon you...
...and trying to figure a way to nuke the entire party from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.