Monday, July 14, 2014

Sunday Morning Comin' Down



If you had been in a coma for more than a decade, and come out of it just in time to see the desiccated husk of John McCain air-lifted into a chair on basic cable this Sunday to once more share his idiotic opinions about Middle East, you 1) should definitely sue the hell outta your health care provider for that kind of negligent abuse and, 2) could be forgiven for thinking that you had just taken a short afternoon nap instead of being unconscious since Andy Richter Controls The Universe went off the air.

Because although some of the names might be unfamiliar to you in your groggy condition  (Who is this "Obama" fella the Senator seem so mad at?) over a decade of complete failure and consistent, criminal incompetence on the subject of the Middle East,



has had absolutely no effect on John McCain's core belief that every bad thing happening between the Mediterranean and New Delhi is the somehow the result of our failure to rain enough freedom bombs and US taxpayer money down on Syria, Iran, Hogwarts, Iraq, Brigadoon, Syriana and Rivendell.

And for no extra charge you also get the Senator's insight into what to do with the child refugees arriving in the United States from Central America (Ship 'em back! Because times are tough in Nigeria too!) and advice on how our borders can be easily secured with technology!  Because as anyone who has ever worked in IT can tell you, no one has a keener insight into what technology can and cannot do 



than a bitter old crank who is damn sure these goddamn kids today



don't know a goddamn thing.


Meanwhile, floating face down in the "Meet the Press" dead pool narrating his own demise Sunset Boulevard-style,



we once again find David Gregory, doing what David Gregory gets paid to do: obediently reciting the Both Siderist Creed here (h/t Heather at Crooks and Liars):



DAVID GREGORY: Let me get into, just as the president wants some action with this with Congress, we've got the specter of Congress suing the president. Talk of impeachment that Boehner struck down. But this is now becoming a huge fundraising opportunity on both sides, Kim Strassel. To what end are we seeing all of this? 
-- and here --
DAVID GREGORY: If a Republican president were taking these steps on the Affordable Care Act, Democrats would be crying foul?

FMR. GOV. JENNIFER GRANHOLM:  Oh, except for George Bush took these very steps when he passed Medicare Part D and took some time to implement pieces of it. Nobody raised it by then. This case is complete hogwash.
FMR. SEN RICK SANTORUM:  As I've talked about it across the country, we're a very divided party right now. And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. We're having really good debates within the party about our position on national security, our position on immigration, a whole lot of other things.

What we need, though, is a positive vision. One of the reasons I wrote blue collar conservatives just recently, was to provide a positive way forward for the conservative movement, because right now we're arguing about a lot of things that are not, in my opinion, core to where the American public's concerns are. And the American public's concern is that middle income Americans, lower income Americans, aren't rising. Aren't seeing the opportunities. And that's what we have to focus on.

DAVID GREGORY:  The Obama economy. One of the issues too is the president's leadership
-- every time a camera is pointed in his general direction.
DAVID GREGORY:  In less than a minute here, even Democrats have said this is a Katrina moment for President Obama. ...
Guaranteed you'll be hearing this "even Democrats!" owl pellet being harked back up by your Crazy Uncle Liberty a dozen times before before Labor Day, forgetting, of course, the good old days when a glitchy website was Obama's Katrina...

Finally, under the heading of begin thankful for small blessings, one of the best things to happen to American political theater continues to be the day Rick Perry read about a BOGO LenCrafter sale on Smarty Smart Glasses in the Penny Saver and somehow came to believe they would imbue him with magic powers.

But the goggles, they continue to do nothing,



and this week it was Representative Luis Gutierrez's turn to beat that pinata (h/t karoli at Crooks and Liars)


3 comments:

steeve said...

When anyone says "Obama's Katrina", just look at what they said during Bush's Katrina. They were saying that nothing wrong was done, and if there was, it was someone else, or just everyone in general.

So yeah, this really is Obama's Katrina.

steeve said...

Also, love CNN bragging about their EXCLUSIVE McCain interview in all caps.

"We have McCain talking! Where else can you hope to find that?"

n1ck said...

Listen, if BOTH SIDES!™ aren't guilty of being equally evil, we'd have to point our fingers at one of the parties.

And that isn't very Fair and Balanced™, is it?

This is now Fox NEWS' America, and you're just living in it.