Monday, June 02, 2014

Someone Forgot To Turn Off John McCain's Microphone Again



Having already draped himself in a toga, McCain's response to the Obama administration has been both petulant and imperious, a small boy commanding an army of butterflies. This is most recently illustrated in his response to the deal cut by the administration to arrange the release of Bowe Bergdahl from captivity. The conservative chorus of opposition to the deal is a lovely harmonic convergence of complete hypocrisy and profound historical amnesia on the always delightful topic of "negotiating with terrorists." There's nothing we can do about the former; without complete hypocrisy, the entire conservative project would blow away into a pile on Frank Luntz's lawn. It would be like asking swine not to wallow.
In all fairness, I think it is only right to point out that Senator McCain has hated President Obama since before there was a President Obama (he said, cleverly segueing his way into reposting some stuff from 2006 he never thought would see daylight again)...

"Match me, Johnny!"

Senator John McCain shown here thinking, "Holy God how I hate you!" while remaining absolutely silent.
(Annoying Prologue: The actual picture is a Photoshopped composite from “The Sweet Smell of Success”, which is where the “Match me” quote is from as well....)
It’s hard for me to imagine being John McCain.

A man of boundless and ravenous ambitions and undeniable but faded talents, who has seen his only currency – his maverick, outsider status – debased again and again. The few pints of street cred left in his tank siphoned off in the service a man who he despises, and a Party that thinks of him of an embarrassment.

A man who once upon a time genuinely cared about things such as military readiness, veterans issues and respect for service to country…and has seen each one of the things he claims to love and value most in life methodically pimped, shat upon and eviscerated. By the same man and the very same Party who so obviously loathe and sneer at his quaint habits.

The mortal enemy of all that John McCain professes to hold sacred is named George Walker Bush. He lives in a building called the White House, and is the leader of a party called the Republicans.

So how is it that naval aviator John McCain keeps missing his target by miles and miles and miles?

How is it that instead of concentrating his verbal fire on the source of his pain, Senator John McCain just up and suddenly goes ape-shit…all over Senator Barack Obama of all people?

Matt Stoller from MyDD picks up the threads of that story…
John 'I Need Anger Management Therapy' McCain Savages Barack Obama

by Matt Stoller, Mon Feb 06, 2006 at 06:30:34 PM EST

Now this is fun.

An outraged Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) today called Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) insincere and partisan, suggesting the Illinois freshman as much as lied in private dicussions the two had about ethics reform last week.

Obama sent McCain a letter asking him to cosponsor the Democratic proposal on ethics reform rather than appointing a task force on the issue. McCain's response is one of the single most bitter, nasty letters I have ever seen from any Senator. It's rather remarkable, actually, and gives the lie to the notion that McCain is of a bipartisan mind.

I'm having trouble opening the PDF of McCain's letter, so I'll take the text from Marc Ambinder and Patrick Ottenhoff's well-written blog post.
"When you approached me and insisted that despite your leadership's preference to use the issue to gain a political advantage in the 2006 elections, you were personally committed to achieving a result that would reflect credit on the entire Senate and offer the country a better example of political leadership, I concluded your professed concern for the institution and the public interest was genuine and admirable. Thank you for disabusing me of such notions with your letter. ... I'm embarrassed to admit that after all these years in politics I failed to interept your previous assurances as typical rhetorical gloss routinely used in political to make self-interested partisan posturing appear more noble. Again, sorry for the confusion, but please be assured I won't make the same mistake again."

Obama's spokesman, Robert Gibbs, called McCain's letter "confusing" and "headscratching." He said Obama "remains committed" to reform and will work with "any Republican and Democrat" who is serious about the issue. His letter to McCain, said Gibbs, signaled his preference "to get legislation through committee, rather than wait for a task force."
In his letter, McCain says that his task force proposal would ensure that meaningless or cosmetic reforms aren't rushed into law -- and that the solution in the end would reflect the interests of both parties and their voters.

His last line suggests that Obama will not soon regain McCain's favor.
Writes McCain, "I understand how important the opportunity to lead your party's effort to exploit this issue must seem to a freshman Senator, and I hold no hard feelings over your earlier disingenuousness. Again, I have been around long enough to appreciate that in politics the public interest isn't always a priority for every one of us. Good luck to you, Senator."
Bipartisanship is dead. That's just true. It's sad, but Republicans have become too partisan to work for the good of the country. Voters will need to repair this at the ballot box in November.

Why the sudden political lycanthrope? This venomous – almost hysterical -- lashing out at Senator Obama for, well, nothing, while the leader of his Party stands proudly behind lies, torture and corruption and fucks over veterans?

Every. Single. Day.

Maybe it's a bit of a mystery of one is bedazzled by titles and money, so think of it this way.

John McCain, pencil nub behind his ear, in his faded white, short-sleeved dress shirt and belt-slung tape-measure is the assistant manager of USA Hardware.

He works in the Republican Division, and has worked there ever since he got out of the Navy.

USA Hardware promotes from within, and for most of the last 20 years they’ve promoted someone from of John’s division to the top spot.

The customers like him OK, and even though the management doesn’t, he thought he had a clear shot at the Big Chair six years ago. He’d put in the time, knows hardware like a dog knows it’s ass, and had a few good ideas on building the business. Even works with some of the people over in the Democratic Division from time to time, which is very rare these days.

USA Hardware needed a leader, and instead along came this little punk Bush kid. Soft hands and not a lick of sense in him. Lazy, drunk and mean, but son of a former company President so he gets promotions no matter how badly he fucks up.

And he fucks up something awful.

Put a stock boy’s eye out screwing around with a band saw once. Then laughed about it. Starts fires for fun, and then tries half-assed to put ‘em out. Usually they burn until the fire department comes and douses them, but he never gets a fine; instead his Daddy’s friends arrange for him to get bonuses and plaques for his “quick thinking”.

Killed a cat once with a nail gun. On a dare, just because he was bored.

John always hated the little prick in an abstract way, but didn’t think much about him until the Top Spot opened up, and suddenly George decided he wanted the job.

That’s when John’s gas tank suddenly got sugared, and his house got trashed. His accounts disappeared off the company computer. His wife started getting threatening phone calls at all hours, and somebody beat up his adopted daughter on her way home from school.

People he didn’t even know started talking loudly in public places about how he faked his war record, and goes foaming-at-the-mouth crazy every time he sees a "gook".

That punk Bush kid and his buddy Karl were behind every bit of it, and when the smoke cleared, Little George had the big corner office, and John was up to his scar tissue in debt and his reputation was in tatters.

That was six years ago and now, in addition to everything else, George has made John his valet. John grits his teeth and lights the kid’s cigarettes, wipes his ass and laughs at his jokes.

And waits. Hating every fucking minute of it, he hangs on by his nails, bites his tongue ‘til it bleeds, and waits.

Little George retires in a few years, and John figures he has one, last shot at the Big Chair, but he needs the little fucker to pull it off. Needs his money, contacts, and gang of ratfuckers to pave the way, because if he misses it this time, it’s Game Over.

Another chance will never come his way.

He reeks of Old Spice, and desperation, and worst of all, every day he now has to work with some rising young Rock Star from over in the Democratic Division.

Kid named “Barack”, who’s as smart and smooth and charismatic as they come. The opposite of that freak George in every way. A genuinely nice guy, too, and even though he’s only been at the home office for something like ten minutes, the customers like him, and the management grudgingly does too. Even some people in the Republican Division say nice things about him, and it seems like he doesn’t have to fight his own organization every inch of the way.

Exactly the kind of guy John McCain might have been friends with…thirty years ago. But people are suddenly talking about skipping this Obama kid to the front of the line, and putting him in the Big Chair right away. And so when he stands next to him out on the floor, McCain doesn’t feel that sense comradeship and friendly competition he might have had long ago.

All he feels is a million years old. And tired. Like an old Underwood typewriter in a world of ThinkPads and G4s, and as if on cue here comes George with some little, humiliating errand for him to do. Pick up his dry-cleaning, maybe. Or give his dog a pedicure, and he’d better fucking well jump if he knows what’s good for him.

John McCain, moldering middle manager at USA Hardware, who can’t talk back to the hateful, wastrel boss who degrades him, and can’t help noticing that the new guy is already Mr. Popular among his regulars, and is practically measuring the Big Office for drapes and carpet.

And then, one day, he loses it. Starts screaming his head off at the Obama kid in the parking lot.

For what seems a lot like no reason at all.
...
Over in The Better Universe, the act of injecting Sarah Palin into our national bloodstream with a large bore cardiac needle would have been enough to disqualify anyone from ever listening to John McCain on the subject of any-fucking-thing ever again.



But we do do not live in The Better Universe.
They live next door.
And through the paper-thin walls, it sure as hell sounds like they're having a fine old time over there.

11 comments:

Tom said...

Oh, Driftglass.
"A man who once upon a time genuinely cared about things such as military readiness, veterans issues and respect for service to country

Really, sir. Just look up John McCain's record. Google McCain POW/MIA and see how McCain "genuinely cared" about his fellow POW/MIA, or if, in fact, he used every ounce of his power to shut down the attempt to repatriate the persons, the bodies, the remains of the (mostly) men left behind in Viet Nam. I will never, never forgive his behavior here (which I watched in real time) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FavCYv0E5OU. His record against the POW/MIAs is bitter and long remembered, by many of us. You call that "respect for service to country"?

Also, really, Driftglass. Do some research on McCain's *actual* support for veterans, i.e, his voting record. If you can find more than five total votes to support the VA or veteran's issues, I'll be surprised. Because, he almost always votes against the veterans. He talks a good line, but when push comes to shove, he votes against vets with regularity.

Military readiness? I'm not familiar with his voting record in that respect. It wouldn't surprise me if he voted again and again to expand the military and the military machine in his pursuit of his chest-thumping agenda of BombBombBombIran.

So *maybe* one out of three.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

been enough to disqualify anyone from ever listening to John McCain on the subject of any-fucking-thing ever again.

Which will, of course, be excellent news for John McCain.

steeve said...

There's no place for the media in your story. In the 2000 primary the media was in full McCain worship mode and was against Bush. They only switched on Bush when the alternative was Gore.

Anonymous said...

Driftglass,
McCain really isn’t much different than George “the lesser of all things”. Another spoiled rich kid whose family name helped patch up all his fuckups during his military career. Both his father and grandfather were both Admirals in the Navy. So, the so called maverick got away with being out partying after curfew at the naval academy on more than a few occasions. He crashed two jets and ran another one into power lines. My understanding is that if you crash one jet without a real good explanation, let alone two and fly another into power lines, you don’t get to fly anymore, but the son of a couple of Admirals gets to keep on flying. He shouldn’t have ever been flying a jet during the Vietnam war (another jet he managed to crash in his career as a Naval Aviator).

I’m just saying that John and George are two different faces of the same spoiled rich kid of privilege with no real consequences for their actions. Both careers built out of smoke and mirrors as far as I’m concerned. The country would have been better served if they had both been relegated to golfing and tennis for their lives. Then they could have fucked up all the golf courses and tennis courts their little hearts desired and maybe no one would have gotten hurt. And no one would have ever heard of something call Sarah Palin.

Anonymous said...

I don't even understand what the scandal is about Bergdahl. I was in the military, we bring you back. Dead or alive, even if many of us die trying, you will come home. It's the basic promise everyone who puts on a uniform makes to everyone else. Furthermore it's the mark of a civilized military, aka one of the good guys. Those who do not bring their own back home tend to be tyrants, leaders of child armies, using conscripts, and other markers of the bad guys.

Even if you fucked up, we bring you back. We may kick your ass out of the military with a dishonorable discharge, we may courts marshal you, but you will come back.

John Fucking McCain should know this. Nixon negotiated and traded to bring him back, despite all that happened. I guess Nixon learned more about marshal honor between brothers than McCain did during even though they both served in the Navy.

Between the veterans fiascos and this the Republicans are picking a real fight. A lot of people are pissed. The left may just get to see what it's like having people waving guns around and screaming about patriotism on their side. It's not like veterans haven't done this before. Also veterans are much harder for the police to push around. We've all been tear gassed (mandatory in basic), and many of us have been peppery sprayed before. That crap doesn't really work on veterans as a group. It tends to just make everyone madder and even more belligerent, from a group of people known to enjoy a good brawl.

cipher said...

I guess Nixon learned more about marshal honor between brothers than McCain did during even though they both served in the Navy.

I can't believe I'm actually typing this sentence, but Nixon had more integrity in his little finger than the entire cadre of Republicans in Washington today.

Life is beyond absurd.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous @11:01 and cipher,

I refer you to this Hunter Thompson piece about Nixon. It needs repeating when one wants to wax nostalgic about past conservatives. Yes, Nixon actually did do some real governance on occasion, but he was a fucking monster.

Take it away Mr. Thompson:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1994/07/he-was-a-crook/308699/

Best regards.

idb said...

Outrage on the right when Obama executes an American citizen by drone, because he has not received due process to establish his guilt.

Outrage on the right when Obama brings home a captured soldier, even though he has not received due process to establish his guilt.

Anonymous said...

Is "shat" a mid-western thing? "Shit" is used where I come from in NY. I never saw "shat' until I started reading blogs. I used to think its use was by quasi literate people who like to create words.

Horace Boothroyd III said...

@Anonymous 1:05

You have done the world a favor by reminding everyone just how awful Nixon really was.

One of the more pathetic bits of historical revision to emerge from the hysterical ninnie wing of the Left is this idea that Nixon was to the left of Obama: just look at the cool legislation he signed!

Well, yeah. Overwhelmingly Democratic Congresses sent him liberal bills with the threat that they would Fuck Him Up if he stepped out of line. Giving Nixon credit for the Clean Air Act is as dumb as giving Romney credit for the health care reforms forced upon him by supermajorities in the Massachusetts legislature.

When Obama had a Democratic Congress he orchestrated the most significant advance in health care in fifty years. With the dog shit Congress we have now, Obama could be the second coming of Karl Marx himself and we still would not get to the leftie utopia.

So, yeah, people would be wise to remember what a crook Nixon was.

Anonymous said...

Horace Boothroyd III,

Yes, I should have been more succinct in my writing and added to this sentence: “Yes, Nixon actually did do some real governance on occasion ‘when forced to or it suited his criminal activities’, but he was a fucking monster”.

Anyway, that magnificent bastard, Hunter Thompson, eviscerated Nixon in proper fashion. It’s too bad some of Nixon's malignant progeny (Rumsfeld, Cheney, and Wolfowitz to name a few), couldn’t have been buried with him, so that when it came to pissing on Nixon’s grave one could use one’s urine more economically.

Regards,

Anonymous @ 1:05