Saturday, December 21, 2013

Today In Rampant Both Siderism

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Spackled into every crack in the crumbling wall which protects our Elite Beltway Overlords from any form of accountability you will always find the vast and pervasive fraud of Both Sides.  The Big Lie of Centrism.

In fact, once you start to look for it you'll begin to notice that the wall which protects our Elite Beltway Overlords wall is now mostly Centrist spackle: that our system of political reporting is now so entirely on autopilot that whenever there is the slightest threat that Republican perfidy or bigotry or sabotage might be reported as explicitly Republican perfidy or bigotry or sabotage, one of the system's extremely well-paid maintenance drones will immediately appear to squirt a gob of Both Siderist goo into the fissure.

This Friday's featured Loyal Beltway Maintenance Drone is Mr. David Brooks, who proved himself reliably incapable of merely reporting the fact that Republican government shutdown was an obvious disaster --
DAVID BROOKS: The government shutdown was one.
-- without balancing that catastrophe out with something he asserts is an equally catastrophic Democratic action (modest filibuster reform), as well as a third disaster that is apparently the fault of "Congress" generically:
DAVID BROOKS: The government shutdown was one. I would say the change in the filibuster rules was a disaster, and then the failure to pass immigration reform, which really has majority support. So I think that is three pretty big strikes. I think they have earned whatever their approval rating is, 1.2 or whatever it is at this point.
Two seconds later, we find Mr. Brooks perfectly capable of noting that Congress is in terrible shape:
DAVID BROOKS: I think it's been a pretty lamentable, lamentable Congress...
But being a Loyal Beltway Maintenance Drone, Mr. Brooks is financially hardwired to reflexively lie about why the Congress is in such lamentable condition, and so we find the blame for the Republican Party breaking the Congress scattered all over God's little acre with nary a mention of the word "Republican" anywhere to be found:
DAVID BROOKS: I think it's been a pretty lamentable, lamentable Congress. And that is partly because of Congress, partly because of the country, frankly, and partly because the president has not gathered a governing majority at any point in his presidency, some 60-vote majority that he can count on time and time again.
Mr. Brooks went on to say more silly, ignorant things (many of which he will probably reprise on Meet the Gregory this Sunday) but the Centrist scriptural lesson was clear:
For where two or three are gathered to try to name names, a Both Siderist watchdog will be there with them.

9 comments:

wagonjak said...

Another brilliant and snarky take-down of Brooks dg...we liberals may not be powerful, but goddamn if we don't write the snarkiest, gob-smacking, humor on the planet!

n1ck said...

Vichy France collaborators will have had it a whole lot better than our Mr. Brooks once shit rights itself.

paleotectonics said...

The other week MN was invaded by No Labels hunyacki - why does it always seem as if these third way moderate groups consist of; Pubbies from 10 years ago, whose policies already had a 20 year track record of criminal failure; and damnable Blue Dogs? The Brooksian wet dream?

Brooksie still gets his in these deals, we may get screwed just a tetch less ( but really unlikely).

Asshole...

Kathleen O'Neill said...

I'm starting to think Brooks' fan base is really the NPR "liberals" whose self image is largely based on their need to fairly evaluagte "both sides" of an issue. My hope is that he will somehow alienate that fan base.

Neo Tuxedo said...

Kathleen O'Neill skrev:

I'm starting to think Brooks' fan base is really the NPR "liberals" whose self image is largely based on their need to fairly evaluagte "both sides" of an issue. My hope is that he will somehow alienate that fan base.

I'm not sure it's possibly to alienate them; they were, after all, put on this Earth to embody Robert Frost's definition of a liberal as "a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel."

blader said...

He already has, Kathleen.

Personally, I haven't listened or contributed to NPR in a long long time.

Redhand said...

Personally, I haven't listened or contributed to NPR in a long long time.

Not long after the Govt. shutdown ended in a Repub. rout and polls showed the GOP getting hammered, I heard one of their analysts take up the "it's the gridlock in Congress" meme in discussing voter disdain for the Congress.

That was kinda the last straw for me in terms of NPR's credibility.

Anonymouse said...

Amy Goodman, a Both Siderist watchdog, opines on Obama crimes:
http://ec.libsyn.com/p/a/2/0/a200b23143d57e93/2013-1219_podcast_ok.mp3?d13a76d516d9dec20c3d276ce028ed5089ab1ce3dae902ea1d01c08030d5c85843a5&c_id=6561250

Kathleen O'Neill said...

Good Heavens! I apologize for the typos. That's what happens when I type without my glasses (I call it drunk commenting and I don't drink. Unfortunately.)