Sunday, December 22, 2013

Sunday Morning Comin' Down



Reader chautauqua notes that it's weird that no one has come up with a better phrase than "Both Siderism" yet.

OK.

How about ... The Gregorian Chant:



Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  (But Liberals Are Actually Worse.) Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.  Both Sides.
Congratulations.

You have now experienced the entire Sunday Morning public interest offering of every major teevee network in America in all its untrammeled glory.

For greater specificity, check out the Bobblespeak Translations and Dean Baker.  Also, by sometime tomorrow I'm sure Charlie Pierce will have posted something very much like what I would've written if I'd decide to write something other than this.

5 comments:

Kathleen O'Neill said...

Amen.

Redhand said...

Cancellation of MTP would be a two-fer IMO, at least.

First, it would establish the utter irrelevance of the Mouse Circus as a forum for intelligent public discourse in the Internet age, much like newspaper editorial pages (and certain columnists existing in sinecures there; I needn't name names to readers here). I mean, if NBC kills it's flagship Sunday Morning "News" program, that says a lot, even if it's done for economic reasons.

Second, it would rid us, one could only pray, of the toxic presence of David Gregory on the airwaves.

A great side benefit would be John McCain losing a venue for his endless bullshit.

chautauqua said...

Thanks, Dg. I would go it one better and called it Gregorian Cant.

It is an improvement over Both Siderism, which is a phrase that resonates with all of the harmony of a dental patient trying to communicate through a mouth of novocaine and appliances. Another phrase that is gaining currency is "False Equivalency", which might be exciting to a monetary theorist who majored in philosophy. Not that those are bad things.

But that's a problem that we on the left grapple with - we're all about couching our battle cries in such restrained polite terms, trusting that their logic and verve will carry the day. Got to target that rich, nuanced cerebellum for maximum effect with our carefully calibrated surgically executed strikes. Meanwhile, the People of the Amygdala have their messages carpet bombed across the spectrum constantly. We still remember Dresden and Hiroshima*. The Gulf Wars, no so much.

We need writers (like yourself) who can walk the line between the two and deliver up the zingers that provoke feeling and thought. This is what you do so well. One of these days, one of your zingers will go viral and capture both hearts and minds. It doesn't matter who says it, but it mattes that it gets said.

Thanks for listening.

chautauqua

*Some of us, anyway. I'm an old fart who remembers the first time skate boarding was popular and hipsters were allegedly cool.

tmk said...

Jesus but that picture is STILL fuckin' creepy...

rollingwheelie said...

Somewhere, Mr. Spivak, much like the Mayor of Faber did with Dean Wormer, is chocking the shit out of St. Timothy of Buffalo. For ruining his show.