Tuesday, October 01, 2013

You Know the Millennium is at Hand

when, in a blind taste test, you cannot tell "Conservative" Andrew Sullivan circa 2013:
The American conservative is being revealed right now as the purest form of political vandalism known in the Western world. 
from Every Liberal Blogger on Earth, circa 2005.

Strange days indeed.

Of course the day will still never dawn when Mr. Sullivan finally 'fesses up to the by-now-staggeringly obvious fact that Liberals were right about the Right all along because, as I pointed out several years ago:
...if Mr. Sullivan simply outed himself as a Liberal, he would instantly lose his place in the food-chain, wouldn’t he? Because like that microscopic number of self-loathing black Conservatives who make their daily bread by serving the interests of the Southern Bigot Party, more than any other single factor, it was always the sheer gawking, oddballness of the brazen self-delusion inherent in being the gay champion of the Christopath Homophobe Party that put Mr. Sullivan in the spotlight.

That was what gave him his unique and lucrative cache.

After all, Liberal gay political writers are a dime a dozen, and so in a strange way we find Andrew Sullivan locked in the same kind of mortal combat over labels -- and for exactly the same reasons -- as Roy Cohn's character in "Angels In America" as he adamantly insisted -- even as he was dying of AIDS -- that he was not a "ho-mo-sex-shall".

(Not Safe For Work)

Because, Cohn reasoned, homosexuals were nobodies; losers who had zero clout and “in 15 years cannot pass a pissant anti-discrimination bill from City Council.” And since Roy Cohn could get the President of the United States (or his wife) on the phone -- could take the man he was fucking to the White House and make Ronald Reagan smile at him and shakes his hand -- it therefore followed that Roy Cohn could not possibly be a homosexual.

That unlike every other person in his position on Earth, Roy Cohn was a heterosexual man, who fucked around with guys.

Likewise, even though Mr. Sullivan now, belatedly comes to believe much of what Liberals believe and finally deigns to notice a horde of grotesque truths about his Conservative Movement about which Liberals have been sounding the alarm for 30 years, Andrew Sullivan nonetheless looks us all straight in that eye and argues that he could not possibly be some mere Liberal.

Because in Mr. Sullivan's world, "Liberal" does not refer to a political ideology, but to an impoverishing political ghetto from which no amount of "being right about everything" will permit you to achieve escape velocity. In Mr. Sullivan's world, "Liberal" is a terrible disease that afflicts losers who do not get invited to spout their views on teevee.

Mr. Sullivan regularly receives such largess, therefore he must not be a Liberal.

He instead must be the lone member be of some rare and singular new species; some miraculous form of haploid political minotaur.

Because if he is not something spontaneously-generated and utterly sui generis, then he is just another Lefty-Come-Very-Lately, showing up at our door at 3:00 A.M., 20 years late and trailing toxic baggage behind him like a Halley Comet.

And who in the world would pay him to do his little dance then?


Jack said...

Hi Driftglass! This is your friendly neighborhood Typo Patrol. No need to publish this comment.

First word after "strange days indeed" should be "Of" instead of "If."

Kathleen said...

Also known as "Breaking Sadz"?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Breaking Beard.

Or Breaking Bear.

wiley said...

But,but, but "liberal media"!

Anonymous said...

But you know, Droneglass, a hippie once called Andrew Sullivan a twatwaffle, and so Ted Cruz had to shut down the government.

See! Both sides!

And, Zombie, please, don't... You have no idea how disturbing it was when I found out that Sullivan and I have similar tastes in hot men.


DocAmazing said...

It's not merely that Sullivan has been persistently wrong; it's that he's been actively destructive. The reason that "October Surprise" is treated as a tinfoil-hat phrase and not the well-documented historical fact that it is results from a young Sullivan working the Congress and the media. Actual policy came about in part because of the actions of Sullivan. In short, his actions have hurt people. Being wrong--even stubbornly so--is picayune. Sullivan is destructive.