Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Diamond Dogs Are Poachers And They Hide Behind Trees

Once again, Senator Dronehero Q. Goldstandard (R, Galt's Gulch) is forced to make absolutely clear to all of his "A=A", Objectivist fanboys that the Santorum that geysered out of his face-hole yesterday was sorta, kinda the opposite of what really meant to say.
Rand Paul Walks Back Suggestion That Gay Marriage Will Lead to Interspecies Marriage 
By Dan Amira

Rand Paul confident that humans will continue marrying other humans.

Rand Paul, heroic champion of limited government, told Glenn Beck this morning that he's worried gay marriage will lead to marriages between humans and nonhumans — literally the world's most insulting, ignorant, and nonsensical argument against gay marriage. "It is difficult because if we have no laws on this people take it to one extension further," Paul said. "Does it have to be humans?"

Perhaps realizing how bad such backward drivel would sound to his legions of young, libertarian supporters, Paul called backsies on the comments later in the day. "I don’t think it will be with multiple humans, and I think it will be human and human," Paul clarified on Fox News.
At this point, the answer that leaps immediately to the Conservative mind regarding pretty much any question on pretty much any issue is either "Tax Cuts!", "Welfare Queens!", "Vaginae Terrify Me!" or "Butt Sex with Farm Animals!"

Not that it harms them in any way, because fer sure somewhere out there some Hippie is probably planning something nefarious, so, y'know, worst case is you get "Both Sides Do It" probation, which means performing nine seconds of nominal community service in the form of issuing the Perfunctory Republican Non-Apology in full knowledge that the meatsticks on the Right will already have heard your dog whistle loud and clear.


tony in san diego said...

Do Furries count as humans or animals?

deistpaladin said...

Can we stop calling Rand Paul a "libertarian" now? He's rabidly anti-choice, anti-gay and pro-evangelical. Can anyone point out to me a single social issue he's taken a liberal stance on?

He's an authoritarian conservative!

Blotz said...

So Superman and Lois Lane will have to continue to live in sin in Randtopia?

bluicebank said...

As one who doesn't actually come from this fucked up planet, I'm offended by Rand's statement. In any case I am perplexed as usual by some of his words.

What in the hell does this mean:

"Like I said, I don’t think it will be with multiple humans, and I think it will be human and human."

Will some other human besides Paul explain to me what that fucking means?

Hamfast Ruddyneck said...

"So Superman and Lois Lane will continue to live in sin in Randtopia?"

Not to mention Sarek and Amanda.

Jack said...



It always cracks me up how "objectivists" (CF "assholes") refer to "A=A" as if it's a staggeringly brilliant insight.

Jack said...

You and I might know that "libertarian" once meant something fundamentally different from what it has come to mean, but you're fighting a losing battle trying to rehabilitate the term. It's lost. Some people bemoan the fact that the Nazi swastika used to be a perfectly good symbol used by druids, but the swastika isn't going to be rehabilitated, either.

"Libertarian" has come to mean "far right zealot." For at least a few decades it has meant "hard core wingnut who thinks the GOP is too squishy and socialist."

And it's only gotten worse in the last decade. Where "neo-con" was the fad term Republicans loved to apply to themselves around 2001-2005 (even if only 1% of them actually knew what it meant), now the fad term of choice is "libertarian." And that's just the way it is; nothing we can do about it.

Now Glenn Beck is a libertarian. Sean Hannity is a libertarian. Pretty much everyone in the GOP who wants to have a viable future must apply this essentially meaningless term to themselves.

Libertarian now means "enemy of the human race," and "depraved sociopath who wants to screw the poor and the middle class, destroy the government, and radically amplify private tyranny."

Please stop trying to redeem the term. When people hear "libertarian," they should feel a chill run down their spine and the blood drain from their face -- it's *that* depraved and dangerous a belief system.

Run away from it and stop encouraging people to embrace it. "Liberal" is a perfectly fine term for whatever was once decent about libertarianism.

Anonymous said...

When I was in college in the early 90's, the libertarians I met were the typical pricks who were enchanted with "Atlas Shrugged". However, they were still sane. They knew that limited but sensible government regulation protected both citizens and small business, and protected those who were trying to enter the business realm. They were basically the most small-government-y of the small-government Republicans. One even defended unemployment benefits as purchased insurance, but said it should probably cap at a few week's benefits.

They also tended to either be atheists, or people accustomed enough to deal with atheists of the asshole predilection (remember, these are people who *liked* "Atlas Shrugged", not atheists in general), to answer, "I'm Christian, but that is not relevant to anything and the particulars are not your business."

I think the Libertarianism we see today is the result of bigots and paranoids and the willfully ignorant, and most importantly Christian fundamentalists, who cherry-pick the Bible, see a political framework that reinforces their notion of being inherently good and moral and "chosen" and rightly entitled, to which they apply the same lazy, ignorant cherry-picking.


DeistPaladin said...


Understand I'm not trying to "rehabilitate" anyone. I have no love for libertarians who draw arbitrary lines about the "proper" role of government based on nothing more than bare assertions, disingenuously presenting them as self-evident axioms.

I'm just someone who, above all, likes honesty. Call yourself what you are. Don't side with the jack-booted authoritarians and call yourself a libertarian.

From what you've said, it seems like "libertarian" is the new re-brand for the GOP who need to get the W Bush stink off of them. I guess one can only wear tricorner hats all call yourself the "Tea Party" for so long (speaking of mislabels, the original Tea Party was anti-corporate).