Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Are You There Odin?


It's me, Bobo.

Today's airy, 800-word, anti-journalism ball of foam-peanut-punctuated cotton-candy ("The Limits of Policy") begins thusly:

"Roughly a century ago, many Swedes immigrated to America..."

Then I think a Knight plays Chess with Death

for awhile.

Then Bobo randomly hangs the terms "gigantic", "ethnic", "region" and "capital" here and there like pudding skin on a wire frame to illustrate the existential futility of all action.

Or something.

Because as we established long ago:
Whenever a David Brooks column commences way back in the worm-nibbled pages of some History 201 or Philosophy 310 textbook with something that sounds a lot like the lyrics of "Stonehenge"...you can absolutely bet your lunch money that what Bobo is giving himself is a good, long running start at trying to make some sad, sad point about These Gut-Stabbed Modern Times while jumping cleeeeeean over the fact that his Movement and his Party have put this country into emergency room, bleeding from thirty years of Conservative bayonet thrusts into its belly.

And this is because, as one of the Last Non-Shoutycracker Defenders of Conservatism's criminal ideology, Bobo is a bit like a Capulet stuck at a Montague funeral.

With Montague blood still wet on his hands.

And a dozen trophy Montague ears dangling from his bandoleer.

Wearing a "F*ck The Montagues!" tee-shirt.

In other words, in each column he must move Vewy Vewy Slowly towards the exit, making polite, meaningless journalism-like noises en route. Eventually, after bibbling enough unsourced studies and mawkish platitudes, he is near enough to his contractually-obligated word-count to toss a weak little Conservative establishmentarian stink bomb or two --
Bad policy can decimate the social fabric, but good policy can only modestly improve it.
...

Finally, we should all probably calm down about politics. Most of the proposals we argue about so ferociously will have only marginal effects on how we live, especially compared with the ethnic, regional and social differences that we so studiously ignore.

-- and scuttle away.

One could, of course, point out that Bobo is simply fucking lying and that there have been just scads of programs and policies -- big and small -- that have had enormously positive effects on life in America. But given that they all tend to have begun life or have evolved into Big Gummint Liberal Programs and screw up his ridiculous thesis (like the WPA, the Civilian Conversation Corps, the GI Bill, rural electrification, school lunches, Head Start, workplace safety and labor laws, environmental regulations, food inspections, Social Security, drug testing, Medicare, a progressive tax structure and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on)...I can see why Bobo chose to simply assert that they do not exist or that their effects have been trivial.

Also, as one who would be wearing a hair net and handing out sausage samples at Costco were it not for the privileges his class, money, political connections and year of birth have afforded him, I can understand why Bobo would be anxious to divert any conversation about what is broken in America the Hell away from those topics.

On the other hand, I agree that our politics could use a bit of calming down.

In fact, just as soon as Bobo turns his fire-hoses on the bigots and demagogues who have completely captured his Party and have spent the last 30 years accumulating power and wrecking the country with hideously toxic policies by deliberately whipping imbeciles and wingnuts into a perpetually low-boiling blood-frenzy about Liberals, impeaching Democratic Presidents, and generally screaming at a million decibels that anyone Left of Joe McCarthy is an America-hating Commie rat...

...I will happily stop pointing out that David Brooks is a towering mediocrity who makes his daily bread wiping the asses of oligarchs with comforting lies wrapped in $100-bills.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

This is just Bobo's way of mincing into the the white supremacy debate. After the Arizona Police State Act, we're all going to need some calm rational storytelling to wash all the ugly KKK taint from our minds. And who better than Bobo to lead the light brigade.

Athenae said...

Marry me, do it right now.

A.

Esteev said...

You really think we need to calm down? I think the right needs to calm down. And possible seek medical attention for the collective head injury that was Bush II's presidency.

If anything, I think liberals need to get louder -- it seems that the right wants a shouting match. With nothing left of our country except white people marching with signs of a black president as Hitler, a crap economy based on theft and greed, wars on multiple fronts that do nothing but get our troops killed and a political party that is purely an Opposition Party. We need to get loud and then have some cake.

Anonymous said...

"...ethnic, regional and social differences that we so studiously ignore."

Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. Mexicans are stealing your table scraps that we so generously left out for you!

Hey, it beats talking about the ecological and financial devastation his caste has wrought...

The Fool said...

Yeah baby. Another classic driftglass screed. Keep 'em coming please!

DupinTM said...

You, the Rude One, and Mobutu Sese Seko (blogger not the dictator, http://www.mrdestructo.com/2010/05/right-kind-of-terrorism.html#more) are on a three-heads of the dragon rampage for good ideas on how to pierce the biggest bubble of an idea, ever: free markets are free!

It's the holy triumvarate of fantastic ideas that, of course, will go nowhere due to the well-described claws on the powers that be, and the necessity of at least 3 legal degrees (to 1 frank luntz for the evil side) to understand the stuff that's been pulled.

Anonymous said...

"...I will happily stop pointing out that David Brooks is a towering mediocrity who makes his daily bread wiping the asses of oligarchs with comforting lies wrapped in $100-bills."

There must be a way to make this into a poster or bumper sticker or something. Must be HST fever, in honor of Derby Day.

Second what DupinTM says, The Rude One has been on fire.

Selah.
CAGary

loretta said...

If you go to the comment section in the NYT and click on "recommended", you'll see that many of Bobo's readers are having none of his nonsense these days.

Plus, good news that Clark Hoyt is not being renewed as public editor in June.

deering said...

Shoot, the comments about Bobo's bullshit are far more informative than anything he writes. And it's a joy to see the number of folks not letting his crap slide.

Serving Patriot said...

@deering, yet the NYT and PBS let Bobo fling his feces nonstop... for pay even! We'll kno the spell is broken when Bobo joins the ranks of the jobless millions.

@Drifty- Yet another masterpiece! Someday. Someday your rhetorical skill ill find a wider home.

SP