Friday, September 18, 2026

Would It Bring The Tone Police Down On My Head...

...if I were to suggest that most Republicans should be eliminated?

Most, but not all.

Would that kind of eliminationist rhetoric ignite the fury of the Moderates and Centrists?   

Denunciation from corporate Dems?  

Would it get me a stern lecture from our Never Trump supervisors to propose that, after we save this country from the Right, we might want to leave some Republicans alive, but in a safe enclosure.  Like a zoo.   So that we will never forget what these people were like?

Perhaps keep one MAGA and a couple of America Firsters on the staff of every university as living fossils that you can show your children?

Pretty horrid shit...except I'm not the one who said it, and that language of annihilation was not directed at Republicans.

That, with the poles reversed, is essentially what Rush Limbaugh said in a speech to the victorious Republicans after they swept to power in both houses of Congress in 1994.

From The Los Angeles Times, December 11, 1994:

It’s Rush Night for GOP’s Lawmakers-in-Waiting : Republicans: Congress’ incoming conservatives enjoy red meat, apple pie at orientation dinner. But main course at love feast is talk show host Limbaugh.

The orientation for incoming freshman Republican members of the 104th Congress culminated Saturday night with an oratorical dance by the man they said helped get them to Washington: conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh.

In a remarkable display of appreciation and loyalty, they first made him an honorary member of the House of Representatives and declared themselves part of the “Limbaugh Congress,” saying he had given the Republicans “the courage to take back our country.” He responded by suggesting that after they change the country, they might want to “leave some liberals alive.”

'So you will never forget what these people were like ... keep one Marxist and two liberals on the staff of every university so you can show your children ... living fossils. Living fossils.'"

Remember, this was deep, deep into the Before Time.  More than a generation ago.  An entirely different century.  An era which both the legacy media and Never Trump media have repeatedly portrayed as a lost age of civility and comity between the parties, with Donald Trump treated as some freak anomaly who came out of nowhere.   

If that were true -- as the legacy media's and the Never Trump media's constant “O tempora, o mores!” handwringing would have us believe -- then consider what Limbaugh's words should have looked like against the supposedly decorous backdrop of 1994.

Such frankly exterminationist language by the most popular talk-show host in America should have stood out even more starkly than it would today.

So, did the Tone Police come out in battalions to issue ringing denunciations of Limbaugh?  Was this such headline news that the normies and Centrists and Moderates and "independents" were collapsing into the fainting couches in their millions?  Did demands that every single Republican publicly denounce Hasan Piker Rush Limbaugh become a media ritual?  Did Republican party leaders flee Limbaugh in horror?

Oh fuck no.  Instead...from The New York Times, December 12, 1994:

The freshman class, which included not a single "femi-Nazi," one of Mr. Limbaugh's favorite epithets for supporters of women's rights, whooped and applauded, proving itself one big fan club of the man it believes was primarily responsible for the Republican avalanche in November.

Mr. Limbaugh was made an honorary member of the class as its members tonight finished a three-day orientation here sponsored by the Heritage Foundation and Empower America, two conservative Washington research organizations.

Barbara Cubin, an incoming freshman from Wyoming, told Mr. Limbaugh that because 74 percent of the nation's newspapers had endorsed Democrats, "talk radio, with you in the lead, is what turned the tide." On behalf of the women in the class, she gave him a plaque that said, "Rush Was Right." He also received a pin like the ones the freshmen wore, saying, "Majority Maker."

"Rush is as responsible for what happened here as much as anyone," said Vin Weber, a former Representative from Minnesota, now of Empower America. Citing a poll taken after the election by Frank Luntz, a Republican pollster, Mr. Weber said that people who listened to 10 hours or more a week of talk radio voted Republican by a 3-to-1 margin. "Those are the people who elected the new Congress," he said.

A little more history.  By 1994, Limbaugh commanded a massive multimedia empire and operated as one of the most powerful political forces in the United States.  You will recall that, in 1992, the President of the United States -- George H. W. Bush -- was so thirsty for Limbaugh's support in the coming election that he invited him for an overnighter at the White House and personally carried Limbaugh's baggage for him

By 1994, The Rush Limbaugh Show was syndicated on roughly 659 radio stations. According to industry reports at the time, his program brought in an estimated 20 million unique listeners weekly, making it the most dominant talk-radio program in the country.  And beyond AM radio, Limbaugh hosted a late-night television show syndicated on 225 stations that pulled in competitive ratings. His books, The Way Things Ought to Be (1992) and See, I Told You So (1993), remained massive national bestsellers throughout 1994.

And yet, despite the overwhelming evidence that Limbaugh was becoming the future of the GOP, and of how incredibly dangerous and destructive that future could be, all of the savviest pundits in the land continued to pretend that Hate Radio and Fox News either didn't exist or barely mattered.

All these clowns knew of America was what they could glimpse from the windows of the Acela corridor express, or what they could glean from their fellow savvy pundits as they passed around legends and fairy tales about America as they wished it would be,  n the belief that, if they all used their privileged positions in the media to mythologize hard enough, they could manifest the America they wanted to believe existed.

Very Straussian.  


And fifteen years later, the same basic argument was still being made by one of the most prominent conservative voices in the American media establishment.  Of all the wildly overpaid, savvy pundits playing Hide The Salami with the real state of the Republican Party, no one worked the salami harder than...

The Wizard of Beck by David Brooks (from October 2, 2009):

So what is the theme of our history lesson? It is a story of remarkable volume and utter weakness. It is the story of media mavens who claim to represent a hidden majority but who in fact represent a mere niche — even in the Republican Party. It is a story as old as “The Wizard of Oz,” of grand illusions and small men behind the curtain…

Over the years, I have asked many politicians what happens when Limbaugh and his colleagues attack. The story is always the same. Hundreds of calls come in. The receptionists are miserable. But the numbers back home do not move. There is no effect on the favorability rating or the re-election prospects. In the media world, he is a giant. In the real world, he’s not.

But this is not merely a story of weakness. It is a story of resilience. For no matter how often their hollowness is exposed, the jocks still reweave the myth of their own power. They still ride the airwaves claiming to speak for millions. They still confuse listeners with voters. And they are aided in this endeavor by their enablers. They are enabled by cynical Democrats, who love to claim that Rush Limbaugh controls the G.O.P. They are enabled by lazy pundits who find it easier to argue with showmen than with people whose opinions are based on knowledge. They are enabled by the slightly educated snobs who believe that Glenn Beck really is the voice of Middle America.

So the myth returns. Just months after the election and the humiliation, everyone is again convinced that Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity and the rest possess real power. And the saddest thing is that even Republican politicians come to believe it. They mistake media for reality. They pre-emptively surrender to armies that don’t exist.

They pay more attention to Rush’s imaginary millions than to the real voters down the street. The Republican Party is unpopular because it’s more interested in pleasing Rush’s ghosts than actual people. The party is leaderless right now because nobody has the guts to step outside the rigid parameters enforced by the radio jocks and create a new party identity. The party is losing because it has adopted a radio entertainer’s niche-building strategy, while abandoning the politician’s coalition-building strategy...

And yet, even in the face of the roaring, racist rise of the Fake Tea Party, and the groveling apologies RNC chairman Michael Steele was forced to make to Limbaugh, Brooks went right on pretending that the Republican Party was something which any idiot with two eyes and a brain unclouded by pundit delusions could see it was not.  

Whatever the reason -- financial, social, psychological, or whatever -- Brooks went right on pretending and by now he was well into what I've dubbed his Great Project:
...it is now painfully clear that Mr. Brooks is engaged in a long-term project to completely rewrite the history of American Conservatism: to flense it of all of the Conservative social, political  economic and foreign policy debacles that make Mr. Brooks wince and repackage the whole era as a fairy tale of noble Whigs being led through treacherous hippie country by the humble David Brooks.

And odds are he'll get away with it too...

Spoiler:  He did, in fact, get away with it, and continues to get away with it.

So fine.  Brooks' strategy for dealing with the explosion of racism, fanaticism and conspiracy mongering was to bury his head in the sand and pretend that none of it really mattered because Rush's "millions" were just imaginary, and not "real voters." 

Well history has shown that, like virtually everything else, David Brooks was completely wrong about this very important fact of American politics.  That he had no fucking idea what he was talking about...and continued spouting absolute delusional nonsense year after year until Donald Trump slapped Brooks' toxic Pollyannaism right out of his mouth.  

For about five minutes.

However, that does not negate the fact that the rhetoric from the Right during this time had become increasingly unhinged, conspiracy-addled and bigoted, and if there is anything the Tone Police profess to hate above all else it is unseemly language.  

So how did that vigilant league of linguistic-propriety enforcers react to the explosion of madness and racism that the Right directed at Barack Obama every goddamn day?

I'm glad you asked.  This is from the late Michael Gerson (Dubya's "smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud" speechwriter and advisor) writing in The Washington Post on April 7, 2009.  Which, if you do the math, you will notice is barely three months into the Obama administration:

The Most Polarizing President

Barack Obama is the most polarizing new president in recent history.

In fact, like the rest of the Tone Police, Gerson spent the Obama administration complaining about how snobbish and foolish Obama was — everything right up to, and sometimes including, the word “uppity” — and about what louts and potty-mouths Obama's supporters were.  

I wrote a whole long thing about it here if you're interested.  

The most darkly hilarious aspect to frantic denialism about the true condition of the Republican base (bigots and imbeciles) and their obsession with piling on Obama and the Left for any slight misstep, whether real or just invented out of thing air...was how absolutely slobberknockered they were by the rise, nomination and election of Donald Trump.  

How overnight they became a mass of groping blindworms, flailing around for a theory -- any theory -- about how this could have happened...as long as that theory met two vital criteria.

First, it could not contradict all the bullshit they'd spent decades spinning about the noble, yeoman-farmer base of the GOP who all cared deeply about the deficit and read their kids stories about Edmund Burke before bed every night.  

Second, and of paramount importance, it absolutely could not even hint at the fact that the Left had been right about the Right all along.  

And thus the Never Trump Entertainment Industry was born.  


No Fair Remembering Stuff


Wednesday, September 16, 2026

Karl Rove, Old Bigot in a New School

By now the news that Karl Rove spontaneously grew a conscience overnight and was mortally offended by a racist pig named Bo French has largely come and gone.  From The Guardian:

Republicans criticize racist social media post by Texas member running for office

Karl Rove, a respected GOP consultant, further said he would vote for ‘bigot’ Bo French’s Democratic opponent after post

A senior Republican has called a party colleague running for office in Texas “a bigot” over a racist social media post attacking college football fans – and said he is so outraged by the comments that he will vote for the candidate’s Democratic rival.

Karl Rove, who was former president George W Bush’s longtime political adviser and is a respected Republican consultant in Texas, told a private event in Austin on Sunday that he could not support Bo French’s candidacy for a seat on the state’s railroad commission, the Texas Tribune reported.

Instead, he said, he will vote for Houston Democrat Jon Rosenthal over French, breaking a 32-year run of exclusively backing Republicans...

But it's worth sticking with this story for a minute longer to explore what it really tells us about Rove, about Rove's Republican Party, and about what the future of that party looks like.  

First, there exists no sum of money large enough for me to use this little blog of mine to posit that, just maybe, Rove has suddenly developed a conscience and that he was so deeply disgusted by French's out-in-the-open bigotry that he would vote for a Democrat.  Rove's superpower has always been his complete amorality.  It's the reason the people who hire him, hire him: there are no depths to which he will not sink to win.

So a story about Jiminy Cricket showing up on his shoulder at this late date and whispering "Racism is bad" into his ear is as likely as a story about growing orchids in asphalt.  The fucker will probably write in "Lee Atwater" and cackle to himself all the way home.  

Second, let's be very clear about this.  It is ludicrous on its face to believe that Turd Blossom is objecting to French's racism.  What he's objecting to is French's tradecraft.  Politicians are supposed to job their filth-mongering out to dirtbag third parties like Rove or Rick Wilson or Matthew Dowd, who, in turn, spread the work around to enough anonymous and deniable sources that there are no traceable fingerprints.  Just hundreds of disgusting, lie-riddled fliers that happen to appear under the wiper blades of churchgoers one Sunday.  

Or a push-poll asking what you think about John McCain fathering a black baby out-of-wedlock.  

Or gay-bashing ballot initiatives showing up in areas where Republicans really, really need to guarantee that large numbers of Bible-thumping homophobes to get to the polls.  

Or ads comparing a quadriplegic veteran to the world's most wanted terrorist.

Does anyone remember where and when this one ran?



This has always been the very, very profitable circle of life for Republican political consultants.  And with the rise of Trump, more and more Republican politicians are seeing the efficacy and economy of cutting out the middlemen and wholesaling their bigotry and stupidity directly to the base. Which is taking food out of the mouths of scumbags like Rove so, duh, he objects.  

Third, if news from this "private event" got out it's because Rove put it out.  Put it out in a way that guaranteed this non-story a couple of days worth of headlines.  Rove can see the abyss into which his party is sinking: an abyss towards which he spent his entire career pushing his party.  

But now the monster he helped create is eating its creators.

The system of carefully laundered prejudice Rove spent decades perfecting is being replaced by politicians who simply say the quiet part out loud, which is perhaps why Rove picking an obscure, state-level race over which to publicly clutch his ersatz Indignation Pearls 

Because that sure looks to these tired eyes like a man laying down the keel of a career-salvaging lifeboat.  One which, one suspects, Rove hopes will eventually carry him to a comfortable berth among the Never Trump rebranding industry.

Which is why we say...


Burn The Lifeboats



The Hot New Costume All the Kids Will Be Wearing This Halloween


"Mitch McConnell 'Returns' To The Senate." 

Scary!  

Better hurry and get yours today.  I hear they're flying off the shelves.





No Half Measures



Tuesday, September 15, 2026

Professional Left Podcast Episode 1022: The Hearts of Men


"For nothing is secret that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid that shall not be known and come abroad."  --  Luke 8:17



















Monday, September 14, 2026

McConnell To Return?


At this point, who knows?  From WLWT Channel 5:

Senate set to reconvene Monday, but Mitch McConnell's return remains unclear

Of course it's unclear.  After all, since McConnell cannot cross running water and cannot rise from his crypt until after sunset, this makes the logistics of his staff hauling his mortal remains to the Senate -- including stripping every cross and holy symbol from the place and getting garlic added to the official Senate cafeteria food allergy list -- tricky.


Burn The Lifeboats



Saturday, September 12, 2026

In Race for Most Tasteless 9/11 Memorial, Jackson County Michigan Republicans Really Stepped Up


From the indispensable Heartland Signal

Jackson County GOP names 9/11 golf sponsorships after attack sites

Sponsorship tiers named for the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and Flight 93 are on sale for a “Tee Off in Remembrance” event on the attacks’ 25th anniversary.

The Jackson County Republican Party in Michigan is facing scrutiny from state Democrats over a fundraiser offering golf packages named after the sites where nearly 3,000 people died in the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks.

The event, billed as “Tee Off in Remembrance,” is set to take place on the 25th anniversary of 9/11. Event organizers are encouraging local businesses to “maximize” their visibility, entertain clients and showcase products by purchasing tiered sponsorship packages named after the Twin Towers, the Pentagon and Flight 93, the flight that crashed near Shanksville, Pa.

The Michigan House Democratic Fund (MHDF) issued a press release demanding that state Rep. Kathy Schmaltz (R-Jackson) publicly denounce the event and pressure county party leadership to pull the plug...

 

If I couldn't buy a "My Pet Goat" sponsorship or a "Bin Ladin Determined To Strike in US" sponsorship or a "I'm Not Concerned With Osama Bin Laden" sponsorship at this ludicrous event -- 

-- then it wasn't really much of a "Remembrance" was it? 


Burn The Lifeboats



Friday, September 11, 2026

Coming To You Live From The Lindsay Graham Memorial Closet...


...what might be the weirdest fucking thing that happened at Trump's Dallas short-bus freakshow.

From The Advocate:

Hasan Piker's 'meat pic' was on full display at the Republican National Convention

Republicans put the left-wing political commentator's thirsty selfie on the Jumbotron, and the internet has thoughts.

Why?  Why?  Why?

Great question.   Because at this point Republican politics is less an ideology than an increasingly specific browser search history.

The simplest explanation -- Occam's cock ring, if you will -- is that it titillates two of the GOP's key constituencies:

First, self-loathing gay Republicans who remain in pathological denial. And rest assured this accompanying Twitter embed is entirely coincidental.   

And second, all the Handmaid's Tale trad-wives who publicly celebrate their ability to pop out kids for the Fatherland like Pez dispensers and cheer every time one of their basic civil rights is stripped from them by the Dear Leader's minions, while in the privacy of their own minds they crave the strange and forbidden...

Like fucking a -- gasp! -- Socialist.

And screaming at the tops of their lungs without any fear that the HOA will report them to ICE.  


Burn The Lifeboats