Thursday, July 16, 2026

Sneak Preview of Trump's 07/16/2026 Address

 



President Stupid + Star Trek TOS = ...

TRUMP:  Chavez stole the 2020 election.  My good friend Nickolas "Mad Dog" Maduro -- I call him Mad Dog...I invented that -- he confessed after some light persuasion by Stephen Miller's boys.  I am appointing My Pillow Guy as National Election Czar.

KIRK: Watch his mouth.

TRUMP: Also I won the popular vote in 2016 by 35 million votes.  We have it on tape.  We have the files.  Just before he exploded, my friend Lindsay Graham told me.  60 million illegals voted for Demon Rats in 2016.  These scum will be prosecuted and execute for treason.  

SPOCK: Captain, the speech follows no logical pattern.

KIRK: Random sentences strung together.

TRUMP:  Reflecting Pool was sabotaged by Antifa terrorists.  Their headquarters are Barack Hussein Obummer's big, ugly, low-IQ so-called library where there are no books, just Muslim terrorist things.  We have the details.  Chavez has confessed.  Arrests are coming.

MCCOY: He looks drugged, Jim. Almost at a cataleptic state.

TRUMP: Iran is over.  We won.  The Strait is open.  Unlike Barack Hussein Obummer who gave the Strait away to his Muslim terrorist friends.  We're going to make billions.
MCCOY: I have to have a close look at him.

TRUMP: Many people say I am the best president ever.  I am the biggest winner.  No one could have done what I did.  Ballroom.  Reflecting Pool.  Epstein files are a hoax. Stopping 125 wars.... zzzzzz.


Never Forgive.  Never Forget.

 

Thursday, July 09, 2026

Professional Left Podcast Episode 1006: Pump Up The Venom


You ever get the feeling that everything in America is completely fucked up? You know that feeling that the whole country is like, one inch away from saying, 'That's it! Forget it!'."  -- Mark Hunter, Pump Up The Volume 



















Tuesday, July 07, 2026

Professional Left Podcast Episode 1005: Meanwhile, In Local News...


Tonight Illinois has set a tone for the nation, that we won't stand idle hoping that our economy improves. This is a brand new day for the Illinois Republican Party. Tonight we send a message to our party that here in Illinois, there will be a new generation of Republican leaders..."  -- then-rising Tea Party Republican Adam Kinzinger after he won a congressional seat in 2012 



















All The McConnell Situation Lacks...


...is Bill Frist remote diagnosing him from the Senate floor as "perfectly fine", just a "little under the weather".  One cup of chicken noodle soup, a shot of Pappy Van, and a good night's sleep and McConnell will be up and ready to ninja kick the Republican agenda over the goalpost and into the future!



Burn The Lifeboats