Professional Left Podcast Episode 1002: It’s Still the Republican Party

“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”  -- Ron Swanson

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Allies, Allies Everywhere

All lies.  All lies.  Everywhere.

I love this story.

I love everything about it.

Not just because it's an old story, but because, since form follows function, it's always the same old story: one we've heard from dozens of grifters dozens of times. The words and pauses as well-worn by repetition as Mark Antony's funeral oration.

From NBC San Diego, June 22:

Tucker Carlson says he'll no longer support the Republican Party

Longtime conservative commentator Tucker Carlson said on a podcast that “there's no chance I would support the Republican Party" ahead of the November midterm elections, dismissing the political affiliation he's defended as a pundit for decades, including as one of Fox News Channel's most popular hosts.

“Not gonna support the Democratic Party,” Carlson was quick to add, speaking late last week on the show “Can't Be Censored.” “I don't know what I'm going to do.”

Carlson, who has amassed a large following on his own podcast since being fired from Fox News in 2023, has more recently diverged from the party, a disillusionment supercharged by President Donald Trump's decision to go to war with Iran in February.

Carlson supported Trump in 2024. After the war began, he apologized for supporting the then-presidential candidate and “misleading people," saying it wasn't intentional.

He’s repeatedly criticized the war as being at the behest of Israel at the expense of Americans, and attacked the party for failing to represent its own voters, citizens and nation.

“They are making decisions on the basis of other criteria, what’s best for this company, what’s best for Israel, what’s best for our donors,” he said. “That’s not just, like, they are off in the wrong direction, like, that is unacceptable, that’s treasonous, it’s immoral, it can’t continue."

“I’ve been a consistent defender for 35 years of the Republican Party, I mean very consistent defender, but there’s no defending this," he said. “So no, I’m out. And if I’m out, then I think a lot of other people are out.” 

It wasn't my fault.

I was misled.

I was bamboozled.

Sorry!

But Dems suck too so...

Hey, look who's angling for a spot in Tucker Carlson's future freakshow!

From The Hill:

Former Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) on Monday joined another prominent ex-supporter of President Trump in pulling back their support for the Republican Party.

Former Fox News host Tucker Carlson said he “would not support” the GOP following his split with the Trump administration over the U.S. military operations against Iran. 

“Tucker is not the only one who is done supporting the Republican Party,” Greene wrote in a social media post.

“There is A LOT of us that are absolutely fed up and will not support a party that betrays its voters and country,” she continued. “That does not mean we are turning into Democrats either. But we are DONE with the America LAST Republican Party.” 

To bookend this little puppet show, you might remember this entry from the 'Same Tune, Different Decade' file."   Its from way back in 2016 when this racist scuttlefish leaped off what he believed to be Trump's sinking ship back.    

From CNN, October 11, 2016:

Glenn Beck: Opposing Trump is ‘moral’ choice — even if Clinton is elected

Conservative political commentator and media personality Glenn Beck said opposing Donald Trump is a “moral, ethical” choice — even if that results in Hillary Clinton becoming the next president.

The outspoken opponent of the GOP’s presidential nominee wrote on Facebook over the weekend that every voter had to decide for themselves what constitutes “a bridge too far,” after the release of footage last week in which Trump can be heard making lewd and sexually aggressive comments about women.

“It is not acceptable to ask a moral, dignified man to cast his vote to help elect an immoral man who is absent decency or dignity,” Beck wrote on Facebook in reference to Trump. “If the consequence of standing against Trump and for principles is indeed the election of Hillary Clinton, so be it. At least it is a moral, ethical choice.”

You might also remember that everybody covered it as if it were actual news instead of a con man trying to fold his tent and skip town ahead of John Law. 

You may also remember this same cockroach scuttling right back onto the deck of the USS Trump once it turned out that there were, in fact, just enough bigots and imbeciles in just enough of the right states to elect Donald Trump.  

It stops being tortured-conscience fence-straddling once you've torn down the fence and installed a turnstile so you can change sides any time it's convenient.

Burn The Lifeboats

Schrödinger’s Alliance

Now that Never Trumpers have been handed control over gatekeeping and party-discipline duties for the Democratic Party,  I try very hard to be a good Liberal and never question any of the decisions our Never Trump supervisors hand down.

I got mah mind right, boss!

For example, I understand that we're no longer the "Democratic Party".  Now our brand is the "pro-democracy coalition" which is supposed to make it easier for people who despise us and everything we hold dear to join our "coalition" without having to worry that they might get some of that icky "woke" stuff on them.

So every day I get up and turn portraits of Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman and JFK to the wall to remind myself that "Democratic Party" is oldspeak now.  Maybe even crimethink!  

And having been sternly lectured on the Never Trump Iron Clad Rule of Alliances no less than 10,000 times over the past ten years (including from people whose MAGA derangement has since metastasized and swallowed them whole) I try to toe the line and do as I'm told.  

But, to quote Captain Terrell from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan:

Sir, that is difficult. I... try to obey, but...

For example, without guidance from my Never Trump handlers I'm all at sea about what I should do with this new information about Tucker Carlson.

From The Hill:

Tucker Carlson ‘sorry for misleading people’ with Trump support

Pundit Tucker Carlson is expressing regret for voicing support for President Trump.

Carlson, who has been a sharp critic of Trump’s war in Iran, said during a recent episode of his podcast and online show that prominent people on the right who backed Trump ahead of the 2024 election are “implicated” in what’s going on in the Middle East.

“So I do think it’s like a moment to wrestle with our own consciences. You know, we’ll be tormented by it for a long time. I will be,” he said. “And I want to say I’m sorry for misleading people and it was not intentional. That’s all I’ll say.”

You can see why my simple, Liberal brain is all fuzzy and confused. Because a plain-text reading of the fine print of the Never Trump Iron Clad Rule of Alliances makes it very clear that Carlson cannot be welcomed into the "pro-democracy coalition" as a mere Adam Kinzinger-grade ally. No, no. According to established precedent, given that he is a high-status Person of Influence among the MAGA meatbags, he is to be automatically field-promoted to Liz Cheney Super-Ally status! 

 A class of ally whose most transparently ridiculous and self-serving excuses -- "I wuz fooled!" -- are to be treated like the Letters of Transit in Casablanca. They cannot be rescinded. Not even questioned.

So where does that leave me?  I mean, I certainly don't want to run afoul of the new protocols, so are my old Carlson graphics now potential thoughtcrimes?  

Is it enough if I just burn them in my back yard, or will special depots for their disposal be set up and supervised by Never Trumpers?  

Also, does this automatically move Carlson to the front of the pack in the 2028 Democratic pro-democracy coalition presidential race, or does he need to appear on both Rogan and The Bulwark before that decision is made?  Is there a fund I should be contributing to?  And until then does Carlson's status exist in some indeterminate quantum state?  A Schrödinger's alliance? 

Again, please extend a thousand pardons to my Never Trump supervisors for all of this.  Clearly my opinion is worth something or I never would have merited 10,000 lectures on what a danger to democracy I was for not trusting the honorable intentions of Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Michael Cohen and so forth.  And since no less than the fate of democracy hangs in the balance, I want to make sure that I'm on firm, Never Trump-approved footing, and at the moment I have no idea where firm footing lies.  

In fact, when it comes to reconciling our Never Trumpers' wise Rule of Alliances with what I know of Tucker Carlson, my confusion is such that you could say I'm having a Star Trek "Norman" moment.

Yes, you could definitely say that.  

No Half Measures