Schrödinger’s Alliance

Now that Never Trumpers have been handed control over gatekeeping and party-discipline duties for the Democratic Party,  I try very hard to be a good Liberal and never question any of the decisions our Never Trump supervisors hand down.

I got mah mind right, boss!

For example, I understand that we're no longer the "Democratic Party".  Now our brand is the "pro-democracy coalition" which is supposed to make it easier for people who despise us and everything we hold dear to join our "coalition" without having to worry that they might get some of that icky "woke" stuff on them.

So every day I get up and turn portraits of Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman and JFK to the wall to remind myself that "Democratic Party" is oldspeak now.  Maybe even crimethink!  

And having been sternly lectured on the Never Trump Iron Clad Rule of Alliances no less than 10,000 times over the past ten years (including from people whose MAGA derangement has since metastasized and swallowed them whole) I try to toe the line and do as I'm told.  

But, to quote Captain Terrell from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan:

Sir, that is difficult. I... try to obey, but...

For example, without guidance from my Never Trump handlers I'm all at sea about what I should do with this new information about Tucker Carlson.

From The Hill:

Tucker Carlson ‘sorry for misleading people’ with Trump support

Pundit Tucker Carlson is expressing regret for voicing support for President Trump.

Carlson, who has been a sharp critic of Trump’s war in Iran, said during a recent episode of his podcast and online show that prominent people on the right who backed Trump ahead of the 2024 election are “implicated” in what’s going on in the Middle East.

“So I do think it’s like a moment to wrestle with our own consciences. You know, we’ll be tormented by it for a long time. I will be,” he said. “And I want to say I’m sorry for misleading people and it was not intentional. That’s all I’ll say.”

You can see why my simple, Liberal brain is all fuzzy and confused. Because a plain-text reading of the fine print of the Never Trump Iron Clad Rule of Alliances makes it very clear that Carlson cannot be welcomed into the "pro-democracy coalition" as a mere Adam Kinzinger-grade ally. No, no. According to established precedent, given that he is a high-status Person of Influence among the MAGA meatbags, he is to be automatically field-promoted to Liz Cheney Super-Ally status! 

 A class of ally whose most transparently ridiculous and self-serving excuses -- "I wuz fooled!" -- are to be treated like the Letters of Transit in Casablanca. They cannot be rescinded. Not even questioned.

So where does that leave me?  I mean, I certainly don't want to run afoul of the new protocols, so are my old Carlson graphics now potential thoughtcrimes?  

Is it enough if I just burn them in my back yard, or will special depots for their disposal be set up and supervised by Never Trumpers?  

Also, does this automatically move Carlson to the front of the pack in the 2028 Democratic pro-democracy coalition presidential race, or does he need to appear on both Rogan and The Bulwark before that decision is made?  Is there a fund I should be contributing to?  And until then does Carlson's status exist in some indeterminate quantum state?  A Schrödinger's alliance? 

Again, please extend a thousand pardons to my Never Trump supervisors for all of this.  Clearly my opinion is worth something or I never would have merited 10,000 lectures on what a danger to democracy I was for not trusting the honorable intentions of Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Michael Cohen and so forth.  And since no less than the fate of democracy hangs in the balance, I want to make sure that I'm on firm, Never Trump-approved footing, and at the moment I have no idea where firm footing lies.  

In fact, when it comes to reconciling our Never Trumpers' wise Rule of Alliances with what I know of Tucker Carlson, my confusion is such that you could say I'm having a Star Trek "Norman" moment.

Yes, you could definitely say that.  

No Half Measures