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Tuesday, August 06, 2024

The World Was Never Meant for One as Histrionic as You: A Tom Nichols Adventure And More!

Tom Nichols' factory default setting has always been "Stuffed shirt with skin thin enough to read a Bret Stephens op-ed through".  His media brand is contrarian curmudgeon, and to keep the brand fresh, rain or shine, each day he must rise and and go hunting for something -- anything! -- about the Dems to bitch about.  

But every now and then he outdoes himself.  For example, here, where this fussy pecksniff proves --



--  he has never been to a Cubs game in his life.

Honestly, who the fuck does Nichols think he is?

He's just another fleck of political flotsam from wreck of the Party of Reagan.  Dead wrong for decades in his political choices and beliefs until the day his own party ran him out.  And now here he is, a charity case, crashing on our couch, eating our food, and instead of showing a little humility or grace or even gratitude, he spends his time constantly whining that Democrats need to run the Democratic party to suit his tastes.

Truth be told, it is starting to damage my calm.

UPDATE:  And of course this kind of ersatz pearl-clutching and synthetic fantodery is fast catching on with various Beltway bottom feeders who never gave a shit about *decades* of inexcusably grotesque Republican behavior.







I Am The Liberal Media


6 comments:

  1. They've already dragged out the perennial "most radical leftwing Democrat ticket EVER" canard. Nichols and the rest of the Republican party can get stuffed.

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  2. Anonymous7:50 AM

    I had to cancel my twitter account because it became impossible for me to abstain from telling these tedious assholes to fuck off. Am glad, however, that Simon saved me the trouble with Ham.

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  3. How do we know that Vance didn't bone his couch? All we have is his claim that he didn't.

    Were 60+ cases claiming that he did get bounced quickly out of court and the lawyers sanctioned and some disbarred?

    Was there a $787MM dollar settlement against a news organization that claimed so with several others pending?

    Were there several audits of the furniture involved (ick!) that turned up no evidence?

    I'm just asking questions. There are no answers forthcoming.

    Count me as a Couch Truther.

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  4. What a bunch of clowns those guys are! What are they going to do when the money dries up?

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  5. Of course, Trump can use Truth Social to write ao3 Joe Biden fanfiction, which are garbage word salads so delusional and full of idiotic stream of consciousness it would even make Faulkner vomit in revulsion, and the pundit class will continue to whine with the force of a military grade air raid sirens about Democrats not being good little girls, who should be minding their manners and lessons in civility and never questioning their betters and should follow pundit narratives (orders) without complaint.

    Why is our pundit class so fucking weird in this country? Do all the ball gag cuck fetish jokes from the Right make them giggle? When school children are blown apart by AR-15s, who lectures Republicans on the optics? When Ivy League judges and Wall Street executives are prancing around with Peter Thiel on Fire Island or jumping on board Epstein's plane to the Bahamas, where's the concern trolling?

    WHY ARE THERE NO DEMANDS FOR REPUBLICANS TO BE BETTER?

    Cope and seethe, pundits. You're being Youtubed and TikToked into irrelevancy. You exist to sell Cymbalta and Barstool Sports casino tickets. Try selling a book once your preferred party as burned all the libraries and Barnes and Nobles.

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  6. Anonymous3:07 PM

    I'm sorry, but according to the rules I learned while Obama was being called ineligible to be president and a secret radical educated in radical madrassas, we can't say JD Vance didn't fuck a couch. We can only say that he didn't write it in his book, and as far as we know there's no evidence that he did, but it sounds plausible to a lot of people so it's something he needs to address and calm people's anxieties about.

    And according to the rules I learned during the Trump presidency, the fact that he used the word "couch" is just a big coincidence because really, how can anybody be so arrogant as to presume what someone else is thinking?

    I didn't make these rules. I've just observed them.

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