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Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Bush Secret Chinese Debt Strategy revealed!

"Trust fund' is locked in filing cabinet "
By Dennis Cauchon, USA TODAY
President Bush's visit Tuesday to a federal agency in West Virginia that holds the Social Security trust fund put the spotlight on a $1.7 trillion promise to the nation's retirees.

Physically, the trust fund consists of 8-by-11-inch sheets of paper, fastened inside two notebooks and tucked in a drawer of a four-drawer filing cabinet at the U.S. Bureau of the Public Debt in Parkersburg, W.Va. The drawer is secured by a combination lock. "This is it," bureau official Susan Chapman told the president as they looked at the cabinet.

The papers in the cabinet are computer-generated replicas of $1.7 trillion in Treasury bonds — the amount the government has promised to repay Social Security for spending payroll taxes that finance the retirement system on other programs such as defense and education.

Bush offered the filing cabinet as proof that "there is no trust fund — just IOUs."


It’s all just paper, I tell’s ya. Government issued paper…with pictures on it. It means zero. Nada! Bwahahah!

It’s not like it’s real or nothin’
Not really real.
Not really, really real.
Not like Jesus is real. Or pancakes. Or the nukulers.
Just “promises to pay” by the US government.
Meaningless! Meaningless!
Seriously, WTF does “full faith and credit” mean anyway?
What are “government promises” worth anyway?

I promised there were so many WMD’s in Iraq, Herr Doktor Frist couldn’t stand in the middle of the desert and swing a dead cat without knocking over six anthrax labs.

I promised Bond Super Villain headquarters honeycombing the countryside. Nuke tipped missiles practically at the Ominous Digital Clock countdown state of readiness. Wild-eyed Al Quaeda mobs packed into Baghdad thicker than “Ten Commandments” extras around the craft services table during lunch break.

Turned out, there were probably more AQ operative in flight school down in Jebby’s state during any given month than there ever were in the whole of Iraq. Turned out everything else was about as wrong as you can get it without setting up a blue-ribbon "Get Every Fucking Thing As Pan-dimensionally Wrong as Possible" committee...so I decisively bought a round of Presidential Medals Of Freedom for the house.

Now that's leadership baby!

Hell I promised that I would, “faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." And least that’s what my radio-controlled underpants said I should say.

Promises? Are you fucking kidding me?
Promises are for losers without rich Daddies with Very rich friends.

Or as we say in Texas, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me a couple of thousand times, and we’ll call you Madam Secretary of State.”

So take that, crafty Chinese Bankers!

53 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:30 PM

    He flew four compaines into the ground, why not the whole country? It's only paper, it isn't real money....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:59 PM

    Just like those greenish rectangular pieces of paper in your wallet, with pictures of dead presidents on 'em, and numbers on the corners... just I.O.U.s, since we're not on the gold standard anymore. Worthless!
    .

    ReplyDelete
  3. {Prepares to be pelted with flying tomatoes}

    I sure as hell don't think that letting Wall St. loot Social Security is the answer, but the fact that government bonds are sitting in the social security trust fund in place of actual money is cause for concern, IMHO, when the Federal Government, the state and local governments below it, corporations, and families are all so deeply in debt (and let's not forget the trade deficit) that the dollar and our economy with it could collapse in the very near future. After all, if all this massive debt is defaulted on, which is what the collapse would mean, then government bonds could easily become unredeemable because there is no more government money for which to exchange the bonds.

    And of course, a hardcore libertarian type would contend that it's because we have a fiat currency instead of a gold-backed currency that dollars and bonds are pretty much worthless. According to them, the pitfalls of fiat currency always mean that debt (because without a gold standard, the amount of money is theoretically limitless and therefore so is the amount of debt you could run up) and excess hard currency minting are utilized to compensate for the shortcomings of fiat currencies, which of course leads to an even bigger disaster later on. I don't usually like to agree with those folks, but when I see where we're headed, I have to wonder if they might have a point...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I meant to say, "that dollars and bonds *will be* pretty much worthless in a collapse scenario"

    ReplyDelete
  5. loveandlight,
    No tomatoes" All our currency is basically backed by...attitude. Problem is, once a waterhead Preznit gets a wild hare up his ass and starts saying things like, "Neener, neener. Maybe we're NOT gonna pay up after all." about any part of it, it threatens the whole Ponsi scheme, from bonds to debt to the cash I have in my shoe for if I end up getting drunk and lost on the wrong side of town ;)

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