This night the faith of Linus Van Pelt is finally rewarded as the Great Pumpkin rises from the most righteous Pumpkin Patch in all the land to drop a solid metric ton of gooey Halloween Miracle feculence right on the pointy head of one of the most persistent and loathsome enemies of real Americans and real Christians everywhere.
Phelps family ordered to pay $2.9 million in funeral-picket lawsuit The Star’s Staff
BALTIMORE — A federal jury on Wednesday delivered a $2.9 million verdict against the Phelps family of Topeka and their homophobe Westboro Baptist Church, a Kansas church that picketed the funeral of a Maryland Marine killed in an auto accident in Iraq last year.
It is believed to be the first individual lawsuit against the Phelps, who are infamous for picketing military and other funerals around the country. They do not contend that the dead soldiers are gay, but that their deaths are punishment by an angry God against the United States for its tolerance of homosexuality.
A grieving father, Albert Snyder, sued for unspecified damages after members staged a demonstration at the March 2006 funeral of his son, Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder.
Family and church members, under the leadership of Fred Phelps, Sr., routinely picket funerals of military personnel killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, carrying signs such as “Thank God for dead soldiers” and “God hates fags.”
Their actions have prompted several states to pass laws regarding funeral protests and Congress has passed a law prohibiting such protests at federal cemeteries.
In the One Party Christian Conservative State of James Dobson's wet dreams, Fred Phelps is the norm.
Ann Coulter is the head of the FCC.
And Eric Rudolph is a Hero of the Dominionist Revolution (Second Class).
These are the faces of America's real, malevolent and entirely home-grown enemies.
And a person's proximity to the views of Coulter, Dobson and their lowlife ilk is a direct measure of their utter failure as citizens and Christians.
Long before he was the President, and every American documentary filmmaker's narrator of choice, and Batman’s noble vulcan, Morgan Freeman was busy handing out acting lessons to young Christopher Reeve in an otherwise-merely-adequate movie called “Street Smart”.
So in honor of America’s coolest holiday -- the one day when our repressed nation acknowledges the need buried deep in the soul of every buttoned-down Walter Mitty to let his or her freak flag fly -- forget Jason...
or The Predator...
Or even Freddy, the baby-faced Constitution-slasher.
Instead I give you Morgan Freeman’s own suave, charming,
scene-stealing sociopath:
Mr. Fast Black.
And my wishes for a gloriously Happy Halloween to one and all.
with the traditional parades, a chickenhawk, 21-Koolaid bong salute to basement dwelling patriots everywhere, and this stirring keynote lecture by David Horowitz.
At the nexus of invented identities, Raw talent, Flim flam, Group blogging, Ramblin', Fast talkery, Anonymity, Blog whoring. Big Boxes, Technology, People who only want the Pappy O'Daniel Old Time Music Flour Hour, And scratching after the buck, You will find the Man of Constant Sorrow.
Sometimes he’ll be playing the Old Timey Material
(Click the above for A) Good music, and, B) A Compleat History of Blogging in just under four minutes.)
And sometimes
he'll be taking dangerous liberties with Gwen Stefani.
n: the realization that, although two groups or individuals initially and enthusiastically agree that there needs to be a moral system in which people can operate (and even agreement on the much of the language used to describe the attributes of such a system) upon even slight reflection it turns out that their comprehension of the core meaning of such fundamentals as...
Authority ("Because carbon dating and the fossil record say so." vs. "Because Yahweh and the Dear Leader say so.")
Values hierarchy (Constitution vs. "Fuck habeas corpus.")
Enforcement (Diplomacy and law enforcement always/ War only when survival is at stake are all other choices have been exhausted vs. "Let's get this fucking Armageddon ON!")
Consequences (Social safety net vs. "Fuck the poor.")
...are so radically different that you might as well be from two different species.
DUBAI (AFP) - Twenty-eight dolphins from the South Pacific, flown to the Gulf emirate of Dubai this week despite opposition from wildlife groups, are adapting to their new home in a luxury hotel on a man-made island, the Gulf News reported on Saturday.
The five-star Palm Atlantis Hotel bought the wild bottlenose dolphins from the Solomon Islands, the paper reported, despite several international conservation groups decrying the decision by its government to allow the resumption of the live dolphin trade, saying it is inhumane.
Management at the hotel, located on the giant Palm Jumeirah artificial island on the Dubai coast, told the paper the welfare of the dolphins was paramount.
"Bottlenose dolphins are not an endangered species so it is not a problem. They will get good healthcare and good food," said Frank Murru, chief marine officer at the hotel's parent company, Kerzner International.
The dolphins are being kept is seven, three-metre (almost 10-feet) deep pools and are being acclimatised to humans and trained to interact with hotel guests and visitors, the English language daily reported. ...
You know, perpahs if poor American children were just cuter and could be taught to do cooler tricks, we could induce a foreign government to pay for "good healthcare and good food" for them too.
Human race will 'split into two different species' By NIALL FIRTH - More by this author » Last updated at 16:18pm on 26th October 2007
The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.
100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.
The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.
These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.
"Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.
Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.
Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry. ...
For reasons undoubtedly having to do with the mysterious ways of the Gods of synchronicity, I have run across the word “stewardship” over and over again in the last few weeks.
Maybe, like Dante populating Hell with lots of Italians -- or seeing VWs everywhere the day you buy a Beetle (a comparison I'm sure I lifted from somewhere, but my mental attic is a mess these days) -- it's a matter of filtering and projection.
Or maybe beneath the stasis of deadweight GOP strategies and tiny armies of timorous Democrats, something is moving below the surface and just out of sight.
It’s a good word.
A vital word: one that is central to understanding the competing and irreconcilable cultural visions of America.
Stewardship is the ground on which we must fiercely and fundamentally disagree with the pig people who doll themselves in the shredded pages of “Atlas Shrugged” so they can call their misanthropy an ideology.
Fact is, while we are not born into sin, we are born in obligation. We owe the past. We owe the future. And ferrying the best of one safely into the arms of the other is the sacred charge of each generation.
And it is that obligation - the hallowed duty that powers the engine at the heart of every noble faith -- which the Right loathes, mocks and tries fanatically to make us forget. So, in the service of their degenerate agenda, they casually sling around terms like Communism, Collectivism and Slavery to describe what is nothing more or less than the insistent defense of our social contract.
Fuck these people.
Indebtedness to a long-term proposition of accreting value doesn't make you a Slave any more than a mortgage makes you a peon.
Duty and service to each other and to the future of our species does not make you a Commie.
It makes you a good Christian.
Or a good Buddhist.
Or a good Muslim
Or a good Jew.
Or a good atheist.
A good man or good woman.
And what buys us a future worth living in is the patient moral capital of Progressivism.
Internal Dem memo faults party message By Mike Soraghan October 26, 2007
Democrats are losing the battle for voters’ hearts because the party’s message lacks emotional appeal, according to a widely circulated critique of House Democratic communications strategy.
“Our message sounds like an audit report on defense logistics,” wrote Dave Helfert, a former Appropriations spokesman who now works for Rep. Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii). “Why are we defending [the State Children’s Health Insurance Program] instead of advocating a ‘Healthy Kids’ plan?” ...
He said the meeting left him cold because it focused on what polling shows voters want rather than how to present persuasive messages. Republicans have done a better job by developing poll data into focus group-tested messages like “culture of life” and “defending marriage,” along with attacks like “cut and run” and “plan for surrender” in Iraq, he argued.
In particular, Helfert points to Republican pollster Frank Luntz, who helped develop the 1994 “Contract with America” and is credited with helping Republicans come up with terms for polices like “Healthy Forests” and “Death Tax.”
“Republicans have been kicking our rhetorical butt since about 1995,” Helfert wrote.
Democratic leadership aides were not impressed, and indicated that the memo did not have a vast and immediate impact.
“Everybody’s a message expert,” said one Democratic leadership aide. “The fact of the matter is Democrats are working hard to communicate our accomplishments. There is work to be done and that’s why Democrats are working together and mounting an aggressive campaign to discuss the real victories we have won for the American people.”
On the record, they were a bit gentler, if not enthusiastic.
“We appreciate input from those who have been on the front lines, and we value their opinions,” said Nadeam Elshami, spokesman for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.).
But another Democratic aide said Helfert’s memo reflects the frustration of many of those with a role in getting the message out. Several hundred of them assembled for Monday’s meeting in the Ways and Means Committee room.
“I don’t agree with every point he’s making, but the sentiment of exasperation I totally agree with,” said the aide. ...
We have a lot of work to do, because of all this riches that the Right has plundered from our national treasure house, the most vital and irreplaceable is our language.
The Right has not merely destroyed our public discourse; they have destroyed our ability to have public discourse.
And it was all so terribly, tragically premeditated -- far from running away in shame, the arsonists who burned down civil society stand in the smoke and ashes laughing and looting and talking of glorious new slaughters.
So before we can move past the battlefield triage of temporary fixes and temporizing rhetoric, we must decontaminate the Commons.
The media.
The everyday language of politics.
Because the simple, sorry truth is that we cannot even begin to rebuild our municipal institutions and revive our vision of a great and good nation as long as the 27% -- the issue- and electoral-drivers of the Right -- are treated with anything other than contempt.
Until they are flogged and laughed back into the mildewy ruins of their Confederacy of the mind, we have no hope, which is why we cannot disarm until they are dispatched. Sorry, but the time to discuss the ethics of silver bullets is not when the town is being overrun by werewolves.
The fact --- the heartbreaking fact -- is that their tactics work. I wish they didn't. You wish they didn't. But calling liberals yella while skulking behind bodies of the troops you have pushed into the grave for your insane vision of foreign policy...works.
Slandering good men to ram through your evil policies...works.
Screaming “9/11” and “Traitor” every time someone points out that their Dear Leader is a falling-down failure and a monster...works.
Bringing down the wrath of their Bogus Jebus and his fake saints of Laissez and Faire whenever the subject turns to genitalia, reproduction or science...works.
And because we now have the metrics to put under Lincoln's famous adage, we can say it exactly:
"You can fool 27% of the people all of the time."
All currently in one Party. All goose-stepping in unison like Lucifer's own fucktard kick-line.
And it turns out you can scare the Chicken-in-a-Biskit-and-Cheez-Whiz right out of another 22-24% if you just swear by Almighty God -- in as sepulchral a voice as you can hire -- that if you don't vote for the Party of Clusterfuck's Last Stand, your children will die horribly at the hands of islamofascists.
So, y'know, if you want them to perish in a pillar of fire while you look on -- knowing that if only you'd voted straight Suedeshirt Party Line they would still be alive -- fine. Go ahead. Side with Socialists and kill your babies.
And it works.
It works because when it comes to advancing their corporate/theocratic agenda, the last 7, 15, 30 years have demonstrated one fact above all others: There is absolutely no bottom rung on this ladder. There is no sewer low enough that they won't backhoe it another layer closer to the Earth's core to give them a new depth to which they can sink.
There is no mile-deep latrine trench which they will not mine to its gooey, gagging bottom if Rove Republicans believe they can exploit one more vein of triggerwords that will freak one more suburban mom into panic-voting for their Party of Death.
Because they do not possess a functioning conscience between them -- because the modern Republican will always put Power and Party above Conscience and County -- they will never see reason. They will never wake up, shut up and apologize, and as their power wanes, their blizzard of insanity will only drive on ever more wildly.
They are tiny and vicious and their own absolutist language has left them no room to retreat or maneuver. And for exactly that reason the tiny berserkers will never stop until they are stopped.
(Ann Coulter shown here in 2006 shortly after what is referred to on the Right as "The unfortunate tanning bed incident.")
It will never occur to them to feel even the faintest flicker of remorse or concern for the long-term effects their poisoning of our public dialog has had on our ability to solve anything.
Because like their Dear Leader, they never look into the rear view mirror to see the devastation they leave in their wake; they look only ahead, through dead, sealed eyes, seeing only their Leader's power drunk Unitary Executive retinal flashed and believing utterly that they are really looking at a bright, shiny, White Christian Republican future.
That is always juuuust over the horizon, but worth an infinite amount of (other people's) blood and treasure. And which can be reached if only they hate harder, scream louder, and plunge deeper into the darkness.
And if the slow, civilizing power of progressivism is to succeed in healing the deep- shit-smeared wounds the Right ia inflicting on everything they touch, we need to give it space to grow.
Which means creating (to borrow a headline from the California disaster) a firebreak.
To misquote JC, the 27% will always be with us. They will always be happy to exchange for their votes and voices for a promise of the apocalyptic reacharound of their dreams. Their tiny wangs will always grow turgid at the thought of playing Caesar by proxy on CNN under a thermonuclear spotlight.
Of the Wingnut win-win of a few billion dead and subjugated brown peopl, and monster trucks full of cheap gas.
That will never change.
What can change is the social, political and economic price that can be exacted for siding with them. For pandering to them.
To make the way clear and straight for progressive change, it means using the tools at hand to continue making the choice of quietly and privately siding with and appeasing the 27% -- whatever you pretend your political loyalties to be -- a loud and public humiliation.
And the Lord said: "Three days is standard. See? I even wrote it down for you and everything."
And Moses said: "But what if I really like her?"
And the Lord said: "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the world ?!"
And Moses said" "Okey dokey, then. Three days it is."
Which got me to thinking, when commenter parsec asked in the post below...
“Enjoyed all of it, including the Midwest Teen Sex Show. "The Older Boyfriend" segment got me thinking, though. Instead of 25 I'm 55. And after my girlfriend moves back to Redstate to retire I may be living in one of those vans if my career arc and the economy continue the way they're going. Any 55 and over van sex etiquette tips? Preferred make or model? Parking spots for good action?”
that while I know so very little of the ways of the Auto Erotic Casanovan (think about it...), I did wonder if we couldn't possibly help a brother out -- help all the brothers out -- with perhaps just a soupçon of more general advice for the
slightly
shop-worn
lovelorn?
F’rinstance, if asked, I’d start with Teh Maths -- "Half your age plus seven years" -- because most guys get rules.
So if your intended is within that space of years between your age today and half the time you’ve been punching clock in this vale of tears (plus seven), you won't make Baby Jebus sad.
That's the rule for the younger Libidinous Liberal Lass.
For the Progressive Cougar – or Prougar -- the rule is shorter.
It is "Yes".
If she does it for you and is throwing you the steal sign, for God’s sake,
rumble, young man, rumble.
Other useful oddments I happen to have laying around?
Screw philosophy and theory; if you behave honorably, like a gentleman, alla that other stuff will either magically sort itself out, or you'll at least be able to live with yourself if it all goes spectacularly wrong.
So how do you, y'know, actually do that?
Thought you'd never ask...
1. Within the bounds of courtesy and context, be as clear and honest about what your interests and intentions are. It will save you such a lot of shit down the road.
2. You're nobody's savior. Neither is she. If you discover salvation in her arms (or in the naughtier latitudes) that is terrific. Seriously. But if you start out all breathless and excited that you've Found Him or Found Her -- the one who is going to Complete You -- you are dooming yourself. Don't imprison your partner in that tower, and don't let them strand you there either. It cheats you of your gloriously flawed humanity, and over time your partner will come to loathe and then try to saw off all of those splendidly inconvenient parts of you that don't happen to be incongruent with their Savior Template.
3. STFU and listen. Sincerely and attentively. You will hear stuff that will come in really, really handy later. If you can't be bothered to listen, then do the Universe a favor: just close the door, throw on "Lords of Acid" and wax your bishop by yourself.
4. Talk about what delights you, because your eyes catch fire and your voice takes flight when you do. That's your Best Self, and your Best Self is 22% hotter than you are, and generally better at PR.
5. Talk about what delights you about 14% less than you really, really want to. Because after you hit a certain, highly-concentration monological threshold, your Best Self is a boring ass fanatic.
6. If you have been clear, honest and courteous, you will have much less to apologize for in the long run. Again, I am a laaaazy man and this just saves a ton of time so if, for example, the subject of Commitment has come up, and you have been unambiguous (but never unkind) about the fact that you have no urge to marry or co-habit, and she starts hinting loudly about "Where is this relationship going?" tell her "Right here and not a whole lot further".
If she is looking for more and you can't give it, for her own mental health she needs to move on and find what she needs elsewhere.
She'll cry. You'll cry. That's life.
7. If you have not been honest and clear about your intentions and limitations, or have misled her, then you're simply a prick and/or coward who deserves to be loudly branded as such by her, and flogged for being such by your Best Self, who will be deeply ashamed of you.
She'll cry.
If you’re any kinda man, you'll cry.
That's life.
8. If you're a gentleman, and you're just looking to get laid, sorry but all of this still applies, just in shorter intervals.
So what do you all have to add?
And don't worry; once I take your comments, file off the serial numbers, sell their collected wisdom to Maxim's for an obscene amount of money and move to St. Thomas, I will look out of the door of my Caribbean beach front castle every day and remember you all.
There is no subject more fundamental, complex, or sticky with naughty possibilities, so why not ease out of your weekend with some yummy-good writing on the subject;
From Drunken Boxing Master, James Wolcott explaining how the dark lord of Fox shake-shake-shakes up a cocktail of tits and disinformation to sell it's brand of Star Spangled Wang Spanking Fascism to the droolers:
"This week Fox News launched its new business channel, a bunny hutch for babewatchers with the lovable, hapless Neil Cavuto serving as the Charlie's Angels Bosley figure. The stock market greeted the arrival of Fox Business News with an elegant swan dive climaxing with Friday's 360-point splat. ..."
"Seeing as I'm probably already on double-secret probation from certain concerned feminist blogger's collectives... for my panties, references to titty-fucking, not to mention my occasional admiration for things George Will has said, I might as well come clean and admit the rest..
1. I love the blog Hot Chicks with Douchebags, the sole purpose of which is to deride scenes like this: ..."
and doesn't stop until you're sore in all the good places.
To the drop-forged, steel-honed edge of cool that is the "Midwest Teen Sex Show" (another h/t to Susie Bright for finding and sharing this treasure)...
...where the fearless wisdom comes episodically and hidden deep inside Teh Funny
...where you will learn all about Important Subjects like The Older Boyfriend and Gym Class (where, yes, towel-snapping will make you gay)
...and where you will find all of your War On Christmas shopping needs have been pre-fulfilled with an ample selection of "Thanks Masturbation!"
family fun-wear.
And all of this you can explore while enjoying this mesmerizing Jane Siberry video
which, if you labor in the vineyards of the blue-nosed or the tight-assed, is sadly not entirely work-safe, and which I never woulda found if whig over at Cannablog hadn't pointed the way.
A textbook example of a photo negative of what proper public discourse should be.
An almost flawless anti.
A nearly perfect un.
A parade of dead-eyed, vinyl-haired muppets, the scariest example of which might have been Laura Fucking Ingraham who oozed through that porous, threadbare chastity belt the MSM uses to pretend to separate Serious Pundits from mere Hate Radio shouters.
Laura (who seems to be getting makeup cues telefacsimilied to her directly from the crypt of Bloody Mary Matalin) has taken to abrading the rage-lines off her brow and appliquéing some kind of flesh-colored polymer to the front part of her skull with a power washer.
She was joined on the “This Week” panel with a barely lifelike Mark Halperin simulacra, Donna Brazile sporting a petrified forest of stunted, lacquered antenna, and George Will.
How bad, trivial and electile-dysfunction-inducing was it?
On “Meet the Press” , Punkin’ Haid Russert “interviewed” South Carolina Native Shun and Presidential Candidate, Stephen Colbert.
It was a cartoon. A funny, funny cartoon that I enjoyed thoroughly (clip available over at Crooks & Liars here), but shot through with an aftertaste of Teh Creepy; with the bitter knowledge that, with all the problems stalking the world, the precious bandwidth we set aside once a week to at least pretend to talk about the issues of the day was sopped up by jokes.
That between things like the laugh-em-ups on the ”The Chris Matthews Show” and the roundup of what comedians are saying on “This Week” , we are chuckling ourselves to death.
Meanwhile, local Channel 23 broke boldly with the pack and re-ran “The Incredible Hulk”
dubbed into español.
And between them, Colbert and El Hulque were the Lincoln and Douglas of this Sunday’s offerings.
And what did I learn from the little noises farting out of the yawning, smirking, Skittle-colored abyss between the Big Green One and the Prince of Truthiness?
That maybe we’ll have a recession.
And maybe not.
Maybe somebody’ll give McCain’ll some turkee.
And maybe not.
Maybe Iowa’ll break thisaway, and maybe New Hampshire’ll switch to a Julian Calendar, and maybe The Wizard’ll give Fred Thompson a big sack of charisma and a case of long-haul-trucker-strength No-Doz.
And maybe Newt.
Maybe Michigan’s all messed up not because of 30 years of failed urban policy and the staggeringly shortsighted, incompetent management of the US auto industry…but cuz’a those Dirty Fucking Hippies!
Maybe Hillary is a pants-suited juggernaut.
And maybe naut.
The highlight for me, counterintuitively enough, was “Fox News Sunday” , which I had to mute due to an urgent visit from a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses selling (if I understood them correctly) some kind of faith-based Value’s Voter Aluminum Siding.
The castle, of course, requires no such piffling, over-priced, Emperor's New Facade Protection. It is made from ancient stones hewn by union, uh, stoners from secret quarries beneath the site on which, legend has it, Tony Curtis first nailed Yvonne De Carlo, and fitted together by nimble-handed WPA workers so cunningly that, like the ageless walls of Machu Picchu no mortar was required.
However out of common Liberal courtesy, I listened politely for 2-3 years until they perished from hunger, carefully razored out their pockets and sent their folding money to the ACLU, and then respectfully interred their remains.
And in a bizarre bit of synchronicity (which is, I believe, very near where the GOP I Wuv Jebus Kabuki debate is being held tonight) when I looked up and started paying attention to the teevee machine again, I noticed three things:
1. That the Values Voter crack pipe issue was being passed bruited around there too.
2. Since I had the sound muted, the Closed Captioning was scrolling by. And;
3. It became immediately apparent that the Fox Caption Transcriptors had gone quite insane (very probably from a combination of boredom, self-loathing and compulsive onanism [which, let that be a lesson to you kids out there, using the same, dog-eared March 1988 copy of Juggs over and over again’ll do to you]) and were wildly abusing whatever tiny bit of power accrues to a Kaption Keyboard Kommando at Fox.
Seizing the moment, I was able to snatch down
a
few
screen
grabs
before a phalanx of loofah-sheathed-truncheon wielding Fox goons busted down the door, beat the Fox's typing monkeys to jelly, and erased their transgressions from the memory of man.
As well as utterly destroying the only March 1988 copy of Juggs magazine still known to be in existence.
A second-grader's drawing of a stick figure shooting a gun earned him a one-day school suspension.
Kyle Walker, 7, was suspended last week for violating Dennis Township Primary School's zero-tolerance policy on guns, the boy's mother, Shirley McDevitt, told The Press of Atlantic City.
Kyle gave the picture to another child on the school bus, and that child's parents complained about it to school officials, McDevitt said. Her son told her the drawing was of a water gun, she said.
A photocopy of the picture provided by McDevitt showed two stick figures with one pointing a crude-looking gun at the other, the newspaper said. What appeared to be the word "me" was written above the shooter, with another name scribbled above the other figure.
School officials declined to comment Friday. A message left at the superintendent's office Saturday was not returned.
Kyle drew other pictures, including a skateboarder, King Tut, a ghost, a tree and a Cyclops, the newspaper reported.
This bastard’s probably just bought himself
ten year of hard time in detention.
And this violent imagining?
And this one?
And this one?
Each and every one of the authors of these abominations will undoubtedly rot in prison until rats and ravens come and feast on their meat and marrow.
And you definitely do not want know anything about which white-hot malebolge of Lower Regions the twisted creator of this work of pure evil will be consigned to for all eternity, nor any details of the fate which awaits him there.
Regular swearing at work can help boost team spirit among staff, allowing them to express better their feelings as well as develop social relationships, according to a study by researchers.
Yehuda Baruch, a professor of management at the University of East Anglia, and graduate Stuart Jenkins studied the use of profanity in the workplace and assessed its implications for managers.
They assessed that swearing would become more common as traditional taboos are broken down, but the key appeared to be knowing when such language was appropriate and when to turn to blind eye.
The pair said swearing in front of senior staff or customers should be seriously discouraged or banned, but in other circumstances it helped foster solidarity among employees and express frustration, stress or other feelings.
"Employees use swearing on a continuous basis, but not necessarily in a negative, abusive manner," said Baruch, who works in the university's business school in Norwich.
Banning swear words and reprimanding staff might represent strong leadership, but could remove key links between staff and impact on morale and motivation, he said.
"We hope that this study will serve not only to acknowledge the part that swearing plays in our work and our lives, but also to indicate that leaders sometimes need to 'think differently' and be open to intriguing ideas.
"Managers need to understand how their staff feel about swearing. The challenge is to master the 'art' of knowing when to turn a blind eye to communication that does not meet their own standards." …
This is about ownership and responsibility.
Because you, personally, own the entire English language.
Every motherfucking word of it.
And so do I. So do we all. And every day we raze it, build it, break it and birth it, because it is a living thing.
It is our inalienable birthright, and will be our most versatile legacy to little fuckers not yet born, but as with driving the Big Rigs, or operating a band saw with your toes, the tool itself demands a certain level of responsibility and respect.
When used correctly, language not only feels like a mouthful of velvet rubies and chocolate mousse, it can reformat the world, heal a scalded heart, and get her to shed those pesky pants!
Used incompetently it is an embarrassment. A rusting dumpster in a reeking alley behind which the ignorant, the bigoted and the irrational believe they can pass out, occluded from scrutiny in shit-stained imbecile safety, but which turns out, by dawn's early light, to be a mini-bus full of liberals with digital cameras.
And so ended the tale of the political fortunes of our Never President, George “Macaca” Allen.
Because oratorical fireworks and fizzy-water -- as wonderful as they are -- ultimately don’t matter.
Clarity matters. Sincerity matters. As “V” says, words acting as “the means to meaning” matters.
If you lay your words with due deliberation -- straight and true -- to build a straight and honest road to your take on the truth, you have nothing to apologize for. Conversely, if you deliberately napalm the language in order to hide your betrayals and perfidy in the smoke, you deserve nothing but contempt and an eternity spent barbering George Orwell’s grave with G.I. Joe’s tiny, plastic bayonet.
In the end, the second most dishonorable and demeaning thing you can do to this fine, fierce, sinewy, blunt, flensing bazooka you have been granted is to cower in the corner, making a mighty, scowling fortress out of your “Impactfuls”, “Synergies”, “Paradigms” and the other 181 officially approved units of lifeless bizzpeak buzztwaddle.
The most insulting thing is demanding that others do likewise.
Russian leader Vladimir Putin met his Iranian counterpart Tuesday and implicitly warned the U.S. not to use a former Soviet republic to stage an attack on Iran. He also said countries bordering the Caspian Sea must jointly back any oil pipeline projects in the region.
At a summit of the five nations that border the inland Caspian Sea, Putin said none of the nations' territory should be used by any outside countries for use of military force against any nation in the region. It was a clear reference to long-standing rumors that the U.S. was planning to use Azerbaijan, a former Soviet republic, as a staging ground for any possible military action against Iran.
"We are saying that no Caspian nation should offer its territory to third powers for use of force or military aggression against any Caspian state," Putin said.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also underlined the need for solidarity.
"The Caspian Sea is an inland sea and it only belongs to the Caspian states, therefore only they are entitled to have their ships and military forces here," he said.
A State Department spokesman, Tom Casey, said the United States is not planning military action against Iran.
"We are pursuing a diplomatic course with respect to Iran that includes with respect to its nuclear program as well as with respect to its support for terrorism and other issues that are out there," he said.
Putin refused to set a date for the start-up of Iran's first nuclear power plant, to be built by Russia.
"I only gave promises to my mom when I was a small boy," Putin told Iranian reporters, when asked whether he could promise that the plant that Russia is building would be launched before his term ends next May.
At the same time, he said, "We are not going to renounce our obligations." ...
Hmm. Where have I seen this before?
Nuclear states with imperial ambitions?
Taking a rooting, tampering interest in countries with strategically valuable resources?
Counties which can trade geopolitical importance for power and prestige, and through which their dominant partner nations can carry out a cold, proxy war at a safe distance?
Some admix of passion, poetry, focus, expertise and self-revelation.
It is clearly put together with craftsmanship, but not by formula.
Instead it is assembled like grandma’s apple cobbler: with a pinch of this (but not too much), a sprinkle of that, a handful and a little more, cut ‘em up (not too thick or thin), punchknead it just so but not more so, quicktest the oven with the flat of your hand, and bake it.
For just long enough but not too long.
And when it comes out, it’s perfect.
You can watch it prepped 1,000 times and never be able to reduce what was done to a blueprint and specs, but once you taste it you know two thinks to be true;
1. It was made with great love.
2. It was made to share.
So, apparently I am faking my PTSD. Apparently the twenty fucking years its taken me to stop figuring out whether the person who is walking past me is going to try and kill and how can I kill them is all fake because my mother breast fed me or something. The years of insomnia and flared tempers to the point of violence is all faked because I am not macho enough. I guess I didnt drink enough tequila, shoot enough people or screw enough prostitutes in central America to be called 'a man' in these keyboard cowards eyes.
Ya know, its not like its not hard enough admitting you have this PTSD shit. You basement dwelling fucks. We don't need you whiny assed momma's boys saying people are faking it. We don't need yet another generation of vets spending their days trying to erase the memories with whiskey or suicide. I am so sick of Malkin, this other military camp skank 'Raven', Limbaugh and all the other packs of flying monkey wingtards. I don't mind they have this fetish for the military that, frankly belongs in some seedy NY S&M club, but quit involving me and my brothers and sisters in your freak show. We're faking it??!?!? Fuck you. Like you have any idea what its like, sacrificing your own psyche, your own sanity, for your country.
…
Spain's Pereiro Receives Yellow Jersey From the 2006 Tour de France
Tuesday, October 16, 2007; E02
Oscar Pereiro finally got his hands on the winner's yellow jersey from the 2006 Tour de France yesterday.
"Finally, we have a winner and it's Oscar," Tour director Christian Prudhomme said at the handover ceremony in Madrid. "Oscar, you have won the Tour out on the road."
The Spaniard moved from second to first after Floyd Landis's disqualification for doping.
"I have the feeling of arriving at the end of a thriller, after having spent 14 months thinking about it and not being able to concentrate as I should have on my job," Pereiro said. "It is essentially a kind of release."
The International Cycling Union formally declared Pereiro the winner on Sept. 21, one day after a U.S. arbitration panel voted 2 to 1 to remove the title from Landis for using synthetic testosterone during the Tour.
It's the first time in the 105-year history of the race that a winner has been stripped of the title. ...
...one might wonder how cycling can regain it's luster?
Because (in a phrase partially and shamelessly pinched from Robert Olin Bulter) she pans gold from the laughing streams of strange and beautiful mountains, and invariably comes up with nuggets the size of the nads on the Great Bull Of Heaven.
Like this impeccable and singularly urban meditation on “31 Things About the Neighbor Who Fucks Too Much” from ebogjonson.
Which begins thusly…
1. You and your live-in girlfriend are pretty high on your sexual high-horses until you realize that in the loft next door is one of those neighbors who fucks too much.
2. You figure you and your lady have a sex life that is the cat's pajamas until you start keeping tabs on the neighbor who fucks too much.
3. It's a little embarrassing riding the elevator with a neighbor who fucks too much just after she's been, like, fucking.
4. It's a little annoying when one of the many guys the neighbor who fucks too much is fucking knocks on your door at 2:00 AM. Coming or going, you wonder. He is drunk enough to be either.
5. You are grudgingly impressed that anyone that drunk is able to fuck a neighbor who fucks too much.
6. The neighbor who fucks too much is white. You are not. You want to make something out of that fact, but keep coming up dry." …
And rides on to glory.
So follow this link back to her den of, well, equity for more exquisite prose…
Way too much Significant!Soap!Opera!Staring in this vid for my tastes, but on a cold and rainy Sunday, what better than a little, mournful LC to wash the taste of Mouse Circus droppings right out of your mouth?
Because even after six years of rule by the Lords of Disaster, Mendacity and Treason, we have a substantial number of the electorate who are so deeply sunk into denial, bigotry and outright madness
This can be
transmuted into this...
By methods
no more
subtle
than that.
Thus continuing to protect the interests of those making billions profiting from the use of our public airwaves by, among other things, passing off caramel-dipped dung as serious political discourse.
The Mouse Circus, as it was...
On “Face the Nation”
Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona
Does anyone care what John McCain has to say about anything anymore?
On “Meet the Press”
Bill Cosby and Dr. Alvin Poussaint talk about race, class, culture and society.
Interesting, but sadly could have been having the same conversations (and were) five years ago. 10. 15. 20.
Shorter: Examples matter. Role models matter. And wherever you stand on the 1st Amendment (and I assume you’re standing between it and the slavering Orcs who want to gaff it, gut to, and doll it’s corpse up with a crown of thorns and a cross of gold (h/t William Jenning Bryan)) you cannot be a blogger and not believe that words matter.
That words move the world.
Because it is unarguably the case that words – repeating 9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11/9/11 and SaddamHusseinOsamaBinLaden SaddamHusseinOsamaBinLaden SaddamHusseinOsamaBinLaden SaddamHusseinOsamaBinLaden SaddamHusseinOsamaBinLaden -- a million times stampeded millions of grownups in this country to back a cabal of liars, lunatics and looters to drive us deep into darkness and disaster, and then slit the nation’s tires to strand us there.
Propaganda backstopped by serious money works, whether it is being used to convince a nation to leap into the abyss, or a young girl that staying ignorant is the royal road to acceptance, and degradation is the path to love.
On “Fox News Sunday”
House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer. and House Minority Leader Rep. Long John Boehner.
The Boner: Our sabotage of the SCHIP legislation is not about the money.
Yeah, we just hate po’ kids. It’s principled villainy, bitches!
Boner: We want innovation in Health Care. And this will somehow fuck that up.
WTF?
I believe you’re confusing basic health care with developing the next generation of designer antidepressants and Penis Rigidifying Technologies.
No, see, we don’t want “innovation” -- we don’t wanted tinkering and experimenting -- in the delivery of basic health care to poor kids until you get the fucking ABC’s down cold.
Are you insane?
We want doctors to take care of the basic health care needs of poor children.
Period.
Do that for five years, come back and explain how it can be done better/faster/cheaper, and then we’ll talk.
Until then, Shut The Fuck Up and make sure poor kids have doctors, food, and flu shots.
Boner: People don’t want Gummit Run Health Care.
Boner: This bill was designed not to pass. It was designed to play political games. Murricans hate political games (Insert every column-inch and every minute of faux outrage speechifying in Congress, on teevee and on radio resulting from the MoveOn.Org ad here. You’re gonna need a bigger boat…)
Boner: Remember how we were called monsters when we did Welfare reform? It’s just like that!
What the hell are you talking about?
First, seriously, Republicans should not try firing old, touchy, 1990s .44 caliber talking points out of a room temperature IQ blunderbuss like The Boner.
It cannot end well.
Second, any success with welfare reform (and there was some) actually resulted from spending much more money than would have been spent otherwise. Because to succeed in getting welfare recipients into the work force, turns out you need to wrap all kindsa support services around them to help them train for, find and keep work.
It’s called investing in the future.
So kicking kids off of health care will…make them…go out and get better jobs?
What?
Boner: Oh, and the ACLU Sucks!
Boner (On giant Telcom companies who ratted out American citizens to the Bush regime): I’m not sure we need to get into all the paperwork and such from pre-9/11…
(Note: When a thief tells you that your wallet is safe and you don’t need to concer yourself about your wallet, clamp both hands over it and sleep with one eye open.)
Boner: This whole push trying to keep us from granting blanket immunity to Telcom Titans who spied in US Citizens is all coming from Trial Lawyers who just want a big payday.
Boner: Republicans need to get back to being Republicans. Over the last 3 or 4 years we lost our way…
Slap a zero after those numbers – making it “30 or 40” – and the Boner and I would be in perfect agreement.
Hoyer: We don’t need to make a compromise because our bill is already a compromise. This bill does nothing more than deliver on the promise Bush himself made in his 2004 campaign.
On “This Week”
Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Senator Mitch McConnell.
He said.
She said.
Because that's journalism, baby!
On ”The Chris Matthews Show”
With quotes like this – “When does Hillary go from being flawless…to being “slick – Matthews continues with episode 138 of his massive performance art piece “My Slow-Motion Auto-Political Asphyxiation Using Hillary’s Panties”
That is as it was.
This is as it should have been…
Yes, there was a time when funny, sharp, wild people were put on the air to talk about politics, religion, policy, science or just riff about Bill Shakes on a game show
And millions of ordinary citizens watched them, smiled, appreciated the offering and were
All I know is when one of the local chain-stores-that-sets-aside-a-little-floor- space-behind-the-endive-so-you-can-pretend-it-is-a- Viennese-café-circa-1901 decided to serve up wifi along with its International Coffee’s of Mystery, well it was nearly as exciting as new phonebooks.
It means that when I can suspend space and time for a few minutes during daylight hours and run out for a little hay and a lump of sugar, I can also upload/download/check email/etc.
Of course, I also run the risk that the dead, vacant eyes staring back from the magazine rack at me as I stand in the checkout line will steal my soul and screw up my writing, but I take precautions (Specifically, I stuff my hat and shoes with pages from “The Possessed” and sing “Sons of Toil and Danger” loud enough to scare the checkout succubi away.)
So I’ve got that going for me.
At least I did, until they rolled out their “Terms of Service” contract, very similar to a million other TOS agreements we have all clicked past a million times
Which you know is important because IT STARTS OFF ALL IN CAPS.
YOUR USE OF THIS SERVICE AND ACCEPTANCE OF THESE TERMS OF SERVICE CREATE A LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT. DO NOT USE THIS SERVICE IF YOU DO NOT INTEND TO BE LEGALLY BOUND TO THESE TERMS OF SERVICE. …
Note to self: When drafting TOS contracts, do not job out any boilerplate-language-writing to legal aides that are too into bondage to control their own vocabulary.
Note to self: This is how the Devil will come to own our souls.
BY CLICKING YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO THIS AGREEMENT OR BY ACCESSING OR USING THE WIRELESS SERVICES (“SERVICE”) BEING PROVIDED IN A STORE OWNED OR OPERATED BY NSA-FEWAY INC. OR ANY OF ITS AFFILIATES (“This Firm” “The Outfit” “The Company” “The Gang” “The Panini Consortium” “Our Thing” “Preznit’s Best Frozen Chicken Meat Wads and Intel House” “The Operation” “No, you misunderstood. You will be taking one of my free samples of Nature’s Own Extruded BaquOn Food Product (Number Seven)” “The Other Operation” “The Other, Other Operation”), YOU REPRESENT THAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY A GUEST OF A NSA-FEWAY STORE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE READ…
And so forth
For purposes of your using the Service, you agree that NSA-feway may assume that either you have legal capacity to enter into this Agreement (i.e., that you are of sufficient age and mental capacity or are otherwise entitled to be legally bound in contract), or that your parent(s) or legal guardian(s) have consented to your use of the Service and accept this Agreement on your behalf.
So good for you -- you’re not insane, and not an idiot. Yay!
At least you say you’re not crazy.
But isn’t that what crazy people always say?
Also even though, as a minor, you cannot sign this contract, you can miraculously make your parents liable for its terms.
So you can consign you parent’s souls into the chill grip of the Prince of Lies for all eternity.
Which is awesome.
And they’ll never even know you made the deal until the Rapture comes, and they’re stuck on the lawn looking at a sky-full of their neighbor’s naked, righteous, saved asses as all they zoom away in the general direction of Betelgeuse.
While your parents stand there like Mr. and Mrs. Job asking each other, WTF?
We do it doggy-style with the lights on one fucking time…
And you laugh and laugh and laugh.
AUTHORIZED USE OF THE SERVICE. You agree that you are authorized to use the Service solely while you are a guest of a NSA-feway store, subject to the terms and conditions of this Agreement and any other agreement or terms of use, acceptable use policy or similar provisions …
See, this is where I get into trouble….
You agree not to use the Service to engage in any prohibited conduct, which includes, without limitation, any conduct that is actually or potentially unlawful, infringing, tortuous or harmful to us guys or any other party or property; that violates another party's intellectual property, privacy or other rights; or that otherwise interferes with the operation, use or enjoyment of any service, system or other property.
(i) intercept, divert or otherwise interfere with any communication,
So if I see some pinhead reading Powerline, I’m not allowed to wave my fingers in his face in a dramatic, hex-casting kind of way, mock his existence and question his parent’s species and, oh, wait a minute…
(Note to self: draw up a list of theses detailing the accusations against this Administration. 90-95 should do. Got to Kinkos and knock out a few thousand copies. Go to Ace hardware and get a few thousand nails. )
(ii) violate the security or integrity of, or gain unauthorized access to, the Service or any other service, system or communication;
Check.
(iii) impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on any systems or infrastructure;
Alright, alright already. I know my posts run long. Jeez. Go talk about someone else’s ass, willya?
(iv) Use dangling modifiers in a suspicious, threatening, dissipated, gluttonous, immoderate, impertinent, intense, unrepentant, Saturnalian, unrestrained, untemperate or vinolent way.
Yes, it's vinolent. Go. Look it up. I'll wait.
(v) Display nouns as a baboon might display his ass, or fling adverbs like a chimp chucking poo.
(vi) "spoof" or otherwise impersonate any other party, falsely stating or otherwise misrepresenting your identity or affiliation in any way,
So none of this: “Me llamo esta driftglass”. Or this: “I’m not not not staring at your tits.”
(vii) commit fraud;
Note to self: Take the crotch socks out of my trousers before using the wifi at NSA-feway.
(viii) harass, or threaten any party, advocate or otherwise encourage violence against any government, organization, group, individual or property, or provide instruction, information, or assistance in causing or carrying out such violence;
Violence? Encourage violence? Never.
But harass?
Does this mean David Fucking Brooks gets a pass whenever I’m sitting here not staring at your tits in any way? Because that is a bright line across which I will not step.
(ix) disseminate viruses, Trojan horses, or other code or programming intended to damage, interfere with, intercept or expropriate any system, data or personal information;
Does that include mojo-enabled neurolinguistic programming?
Designed to be disseminated (take) by my soothing (your) voice?
In a (pants) way that definitely (off) is designed to lead to the (immediately) divulgence of all kindsa personal information?
Because that would be wrong.
And then here comes the biggie…
(x) send or receive any material that could be considered a. harmful, b. obscene, c. pornographic, d. indecent, e. lewd, f. violent, g. abusive, h. profane, i. insulting, j. threatening, k. harassing, l. hateful or otherwise objectionable;
Well Fuckyfuckybangbang! Why not just pee on my laptop and break all my pencils?
I consider the Iraq war to be an obscenity.
The act of eviscerating a noble faith and wrapping yourself in its skin to score political point to be insulting and hatefully pornographic.
This Administration to be both insulting to our founding principles and harmful to our future.
Everything about the Modern Right – from the way it recrucifies Christ every time a wingnut opens his mouth of invoke God to justify his bigotry or hide his barely-concealed freak-flag, to its endlessly, shamelessly, lying media, to its fundamental ideology of viciousness and rage and drama-queen victimhood -- harmful, hateful, indecent or otherwise objectionable.
So I suppose even “Heh Indeedy” microposts to Crooks and Liar, Jesus General or even Paul Krugman are Right!Out!
(xi) send or receive any material that harasses, victimizes, degrades, or intimidates an individual or group of individuals on the basis of religion, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, age, or disability;
OK, but seriously, what if your religion is just fucking ridiculous?
What if your sexual orientation is really, really funny?
And is mockery OK? Apery? Derision?
And can I intimidate groups of individuals based on geographic distribution?
Based on their idiotic politics?
Can I use the White House standards for what does and does not constitute degradation?
(xii) send or receive material containing defamatory, false, or libelous material;
(xiii) send or receive any material that makes you big in the pants. We’re not sure exactly what it is that may make you, specifically, big in the pants, but we’re pretty sure something does. So stop that.
And quit making those faces!
(xiv) assist others in engaging in prohibited conduct.
(xv) This list is not intended to be exhaustive. NSA-feway requires that you be a good Internet citizen when using the Service.
(File under: Other thoughcrimes as they occur to us)
(xvi) …
(Cue ominous music)
CERTAIN CONSEQUENCES OF UNAUTHORIZED USE.
(Yikes. Here come the caps again.)
Without limiting any other right or remedy available to NSA-feway, NSA-feway reserves the right to, and you agree that Safeway shall have the right to,: (i) take such actions as it deems, in its sole discretion, to be appropriate to protect against violations of this Agreement or abuse of the Service and to otherwise protect its interests (including without limitation, removing offending material, temporary or permanent filtering, blocking access, and suspending or terminating service), and (ii) investigate immediately and involve and cooperate with appropriate authorities regarding any illegal or unauthorized activities involving the Service.
(Note to self: Remember to wear my “Don’t Tase Me, Bro!” tee-shirt when;
1. Not mocking David Fucking Brooks with a dangling modifier;
2. Not insulting the painfully funny imbecility of people who swear by a blue-eyed, white Jebus, who told them personally that Revelations is as plain and factual as a weather report, and that the Earth is just a little older than my great-, great-, great-, great-uncle isinglass. Were he still alive;
3. Not staring at your tits;
4. Not linking to anything scary in the NYT;
5. Not using my mad “Zen and the Art of Pants Removal” neurolinguistic skillz to get you naked;
while using the wifi at NSA-feway
NO ASSURANCE OF SECURITY AND PRIVACY. You understand and agree that you shall have no expectation of privacy or security in your access or use of the Service.
Blah blah blah
Rendition…
Habeas Corpus…
Military Commission…
Drumhead trials held in the produce section…
Thunderdome?
Something-something, medical experiments…
Organs sold to recover court costs…
NSA-feway can punch you in the arm seven times…
Wedgies…
All disputes to be settled within the judicial system of NSA-feways homeworld, Salusa Secundus...
You agree that, with this Ageement, and your use of the Service shall be governed by the laws of the Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles (CHOAM) and the Padishah Emperor of the Known Universe, without regard to conflicts of laws principles …
Shorter: Of course a private company has the right to regulate a service it is offering to the public.
That’s not the point.
The point is (and turns out there was one after all), you have damned little privacy left in this world, and what remains is being whittled down every day, everywhere, by almost every institution.
Some of it is stolen from you.
Some traded away by your proxies in government for convenience or a little temporary security.
Some it surrendered to the needs of family, friends, work and faith.
And some of it you just give away.
Guard your privacy with your life and never give it away lightly. Because it’s not just where you keep your porn and your fancy, new-fangled store-bought electronic vibratory machineries.
It is the crèche inside of which all of your best and worst ideas are constantly growing, contending, evolving.
It is the tiny, sacred vault that holds intimacy.
It is the kingdom over which your soul reigns no matter what is happening to your body.
It is where your lion’s heart goes to safely rest between battles.
