Wednesday, December 28, 2005

"Sweet Home Anbar Province."


"In Birmingham they love the governor
(boo-hoo-hoo)
’Cause Allah tells him what to do..."


As most of you know, it is a real effort to ‘splain to our Red State Republican cousins precisely why and how their Dear Leader has royally dryfucked this country bloody and raw for generations yet unborn. They are so eagerly self-retarding, which would be more harmlessly amusing than scary if they weren't always and uniformly fucktarding all in the same lockstep direction.

The same blustering vac-humans who for years hysterically stomped their webbed feet to ribbons over non-crimes and hummers under Clinton (under his desk, to be specific) now blithely jerk themselves blind in brittle delight over their Dear Leader’s Administration lying, looting and espionage.

There’s this about the Red State Grunions: at no point do they ever manage to even accidentally crapulurch their way in the direction of liberty. Which is, if nothing else, statistically interesting.

If, for example, they had actually meant a single fucking one of the words they had flooded the world with under Clinton -- words cranked out as cheap and bountiful as knockoff, Chinese CDs of Windows XP -- there would be mobs of them now – in every state and by the million – carrying torches and demanding blood.

If they were even for a moment actually concerned with Presidential abuses of power, using nothing more than the Strident Outrage Scale they themselves established under William Jefferson Clinton, Republican Senators who, year after year, hide under their desks and refuse to fulfill their Constitution responsibility to check and balance Executive power would be lying doggo in decommissioned Cold War Zeus/Nike missile silos.

GOP Representatives who screamed themselves hoarse demanding massive, costly rectal exams for Presidents -- any Presidents, they made clear ("...as long as he's a Democratic," they whispered under their breath) -- who so much as looked at the Constitution funny and now duck-n-cover when Bush goes on teevee and lies his sodden ass off would be strung up by these Very Liberty Conscious Republicans rank-and-filers like so much strange fruit from Orange to Osceola County.

But of course they do not, because they never mean a word of what they said – then or now. Red State GOPers have a whole different agenda, which is why, mysteriously, they always, somehow, stumblefuck their raging, stoopid selves towards theocracy.

Always they ‘tard in the direction of fascism, and for one, simple reason: These cocksuckers have been at War with the United States since traitor grandpappy stood up and cheered the shelling of Fort Sumter in 1861.

So it's not exactly Big News that Red State Republicans hate this country and want to see it vivisected and replaced with a Greater Jesusland, but shit, you’d think, of all people, these Parlor Punks would be the first to comprehend the concept of an insurgency that just rolls on like the Mighty Mississippi despite the fact that it’s organizing principle is monstrous.

Like, say, Segregation.

So in the service of trying to find a human-to-idjit protocol that might penetrate their moron shield wall using itsy-bitsy words to detail the specific nature of the ride for which they bought us all a ticket when they re-elected their Dear Leader, Part II of my excerpting articles from the wholly fictional Baghdad Time-Picayune,

This from the May 2, 2103 edition...

Pictured above is Mullah George Wallace who, 100 years to the day after the United States unfurled the infamous “Mission Accomplished” banner, stood in the doorway of the “George Bush Memorial High School” in opposition to the admission of a Sunni student to Anbar Province’s largest Shia madrass.

Originally a moderate lunatic, when Mullah Wallace ran and lost the race for Anbar’s Governor to avowed terrorist Mullah John Patterson, Wallace purportedly remarked to a friend, "I was out-Wahabied, and I will never be out-Wahabied again" and from that moment on turned his attention to more radical methods of garnering power.

Hiring Osama Earl Carter -- second in command of one of the most murderous al-Qaeda splinter cells -- as his main speechwriter, Mullah Wallace began working tirelessly to burnish his image among the most radical and racist elements within Iraq. Thanks in large measure to Carter’s skill in crafting his tradekark D.I.D. (or “die infidel dog”) jihadi stump speeches, Mullah Wallace quickly became one of the most popular speakers on the so-called “Fatwa Circuit”.

During the campaign to become governor of Anbar, Wallace told the wildly screaming audiences of hate-stoked Godly that if the majority government sought to integrate Anbar’s schools, "I shall refuse to abide by any such illegal federal court order even to the point of standing in the schoolhouse door."

Wallace’s campaign was insanely popular with voters and he easily won the election.

After his eletion, Mullah Wallace continued to resist the demands of what he called the “so-called ‘Unity’, American-puppet government” to integrate the province’s education system. On September 5th, he ordered schools in Sadr City to close and told the Baghdad Times-Picauyne that in order to stop unification, Iraq needed a "few first-class car-bombings."

Given the overwhelming popularity of his message of, “Sharia Now. Sharia tomorrow. Sharia forever.” Mullah Wallace is currently considering a 3rd party candidacy for the Presidency of Iraq.


Red Stater’s, your history is their history, and a full century after Appomattox, your very own insurgents and terrorists were still going strong, and still as popular as hell even though the ideology they championed was contemptible.

And given that, how massively brain-damaged must you be that you could you think for one minute that the Iraqi insurgency was going to stick and burn -- decade after decade -- any less fiercely than Jim Crow?

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you watch the video on al-Jazeera MTV, there's a lovely photo of W that appears while they sing:

"...a Shiite man don't need him around, anyhow.
Sweet Home Anbar province, Allah I'm coming home to you..."

Anonymous said...

Redstaters are simple people. People of the land. You know, morons.

BitterHarvest said...

Yes, the same inbreds who jerk off to Southern Partisan are shocked, just shocked at the warped ideologies of the Iraqi resistance. They opine in reverent tones about the "dead-enders" contempt for democracy.

jurassicpork said...

"Sons of the soil", the hillbillies like to be called these days.

Horatio said...

It's true. The south voted Democratic in a block in every election since the Civil War, up until 1964 when the Dems went all "civil rights" on them. They felt icky having voted for the Republican Goldwater so, not knowing what to do, they just went ahead and voted for the unabashed racist in 1968. Back in business. Then in 1972, they realized that they could vote Republican against n*****-luvin Democrats and not feel icky, because all of a sudden the party of Lincoln was speaking their language (se Strategy, Southern). The South has basically been voting White Power for 140 years straight. There are various stand-ins for "White" identity, "Christian" being one of them, but it still boils down to hating the black man.

Anonymous said...

"Sons of the soil", the hillbillies like to be called these days

And Siamese twins prefer 'conjoined', but it ain't gonna happen.

Anonymous said...

Drifty, you toss the word "traitor" around a bit too casually. It would have been nice if the Founders had established explicitly whether the federal government or the state governments were sovereign--and hence to which one owed one's loyalty if they clashed--but they didn't. A lot of the ordinary Confederate soldiers, my great-great-grandfather among them, thought their home states WERE their countries, to which they owed their loyalty.

Other than that, you're correct, including about the "tardness" of the traditional Southern sociopolitical system. Sadly, the Southern elite has always known how to appeal to the basic tribalism of human nature to bamboozle many of my fellow non-elite white southerners into voting against their own best interests. To a large extent, the current GOP hegemony is simply the result of expanding those skills to a national scale.

From the swamps of Arkansas, Ivory Bill Woodpecker

An Angry Old Broad said...

I've lived in GA for most of the last 20 yrs.I've watched our formally fairly rural homestead get eaten by urban sprawl,white flight and megachurches.It makes me nuts how people vote against their own best interests.They think bad stuff is only gonna happen to"those people".

Wait til the bottom drops out and you see people's McMansions being foreclosed on and lots of SUVs and cute little sports cars being repossessed in droves.If this fucktarded path isn't veered off of soon,my theory of "trickle up"economics is going to kick into high gear.

"Trickle Up"means that once the blue collar middle class goes under,the next folks in line are all those cute mostly white suburbanites making around 70-120 grand a year(maybe I should call it bubbling up instead?).Around here,those folks are hard core christopathic republicans.People who have little in savings,huge mortgage payments(and many have no equity in anything because of refinancing and consolidation loans a few times over),and if a good paying job is lost,they're not more than a couple of months away from being homeless.Atlanta just lost a Ford plant,and people really think the Brand New Giant Aquarium From That Home Depot Guy is somehow gonna replace all those jobs with"tourism".

Anonymous said...

As psudolus said -- great (liked the earlier one too) -- it's so obvious when you see it, but it takes the magic mind of drifty to come up with it. I hope to see this one making it's way through the blogosphere...

Anonymous said...

Angry Old Broad -

When the locals start talking about relying on "tourism" to replace actual industries that have gone bye-bye, it's time to head for the exit. Sooner rather than later.

Because that particular region's economy is done. Over. Finished. Kaputt. And the locals are trying to live in a fantasy world because the real one has gone straight to Hell.

An Angry Old Broad said...

It's gonna get UGLY in Metro Atlanta Charles,you're totally correct.We want out of here big time,but there just aren't living wage jobs in the places we'd like to move to.

There is still a HUGE building boom in the counties surrounding Atlanta,and those sparkly new McMansions don't stay empty for long either(right down the street from us there's a new subdivision with homes STARTING at 700K,they sold out in less than a month).There's no freaking way in hell there are that many jobs paying over 70 to 100K or more a year here.That means A LOT of people are living WAY beyond their means.

The upside is,our little 140K homestead might be worth twice that now,IF we could get out of here soon.When the shit hits the fan,there's gonna be a backlash and ugliness no one is ready for.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I have a fairly new website that has been online for about 8 months. I looked at alot of websites that are in my area sterling silver bracelet . So my wife and I thought since we love horses we should build a website around that. I didn;t realize it would be so time consuming though. But we love it and hope to improve and offer some of the best recourses and products available. Hence the search for content new products and information about what we have. If you decide to come and visit maybe you can offer some advice That would be great. If not well you have A great new year. We hope to soon start a new site for horse adoption and rescue. Hopefully in the spring.

Thank you for your BLOG.

Regards,

sterling silver bracelet

Anonymous said...

Coolio site dudes.
I be lovin it B.
Cool man

nice home
http://www.home-information-online.com/

Regards,
Gerald E.
http://www.home-information-online.com/
nice home

Anonymous said...

Reward yourself with substance, quality and synergy. Ride an electric bicycle. Be a kid again without the uphill struggle. Happy Thought

Anonymous said...

Comment

Anonymous said...

It's time to take charge of your future and independence by having your own business!

Anonymous said...

Realmente tengo gusto de lo que usted est� haciendo con su blog, y le animo a que lo guarde para arriba.Good Wishes, Marleen emergency student loans

Anonymous said...

Learn about Money

I am Having a Out of Money Expeience.. Unknown Autor

Money is good for nothing unless you know the value of it by experience...P.T. Barnum

A Penny Saved Is a Penny Earned... Ben Franklin..

I hope You enjoy these quotes and if you want to learn more go to home loan

Anonymous said...

Hello,

I just visited your site for the first time and felt compelled to contact you and congratulate you on your handiwork! Great site & fantastic theme! Please add further information.

Regards,
from delete adware computer

Anonymous said...

Hey there,
I just thought I'd write a short note to let you know that I think you have a very good blog. I enjoyed the posts I read here today. I'll be back. Keep the good info coming.
herbal remedies
www.alternativehealthreporter.com

Anonymous said...

Shop, compare and save on your next home mortgage, refinance, auto loan, payday loan advance and even personal credit lines. Regardless of your prior credit, you can qualify for a better loan at a better rate by shopping and comparing our extensive site of lenders. Fill out a no obligation, simple one page application and get a FREE rate quote. We specialize in great low rates for those with poor or bad credit, even no credit at all. Good credit customers can expect the lowest rates available.

Don't delay, come to www.nwcleasing.com and apply today and get an instant decision and lock in your lowest possible rate.

Anonymous said...

Hey!, Just browsing around for ideas for my new. (While we're at the same topic), I'm just getting started if you want to visit:
countrywide reverse mortgage home loan

Charles

Anonymous said...

Great bit of blogging! Hope you get a chance to look at my site subliminal

Anonymous said...

Just blogging for a while, found your site that also happens to be around investor loan mortgage rates, so just saying what's up.

Charles

Anonymous said...

a great opportunity, no selling, no phoning, no recruiting PERIOD!

Anonymous said...

good info

Anonymous said...

You have a very nice blog! Check my horse related site if you get any time:
http://www.horseoutlet.com/ __ Horse Outlet

Anonymous said...

I have been following a site now for almost 2 years and I have found it to be both reliable and profitable. They post daily and their stock trades have been beating
the indexes easily.

Take a look at Wallstreetwinnersonline.com

RickJ

Anonymous said...

Hey Blogger,

I�m writing to ask you if I could duplicate the information/idea you published on your site, on to my website. I think it�s a fantastic idea! I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
start online business

Anonymous said...

I was doing the Google search found your blogsite. Some content here is very thought provoking. Not sure i agree with all but hey this is a democratic society - on the whole!!

All the best again, from David at http://www.surveyearn.biz/PaidSurveys/Work_at_home.html which is about computer work from home

Anonymous said...

Keep up the great work on this blog. Informative and interesting. I have a very interesting site at http://www.surveyearn.biz/PaidSurveys/Work_at_home.html and you are welcome to visit. It is about home Based Businesses Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Nice blog and info. Keep up the good work.

I have a site that you are welcome to see at http://www.surveyearn.biz/PaidSurveys/Work_at_home.html it is about best Home Based Businesses

Anonymous said...

Hey how are you doing? just letting you know that someone from Central America read your blog!

Regards,
Charles
dedicated servers

Anonymous said...

Well said!

DP - http://www.surveyearn.biz/PaidSurveys/Work_at_home.html - internet work at home jobs

Anonymous said...

Nicely said!

DR - http://www.small-business-web-design.ssr.be - florida web site design

Anonymous said...

Many thanks for creating your blog. It's interesting how people are different in their interests.

Thank You again,

work at home stuffing envelope

Anonymous said...

Hi fellow blogger, I enjoyed reading about your interests.

Thank You,

work at home employment

Anonymous said...


business search - Business Opportunity - Use Blog To Make Your Business Profitable.
Make money from blogs by getting people to read & respond.

The popularity of blogs helps people to improve the way they present themselves. Go the the search engine for blogs that may relate to your business. You would be surprised that most companies in your field probably already has blogs.

It is time for you to get started. Don't wait for your competitors. You can improve your business with potential customers and increased ranking on the search engines in a short time and at minimal cost.is EASY to set up when you know how to do it. Business Opportunity business search

Anonymous said...

Hi, Thank you for having this info on the web. I enjoyed your post. If you may have any interest in
Connecticut Lawyers
then I know where you may get your solution. For your comfort, I have enclosed the link, so if needed you can visit the site. Thanks again for your lovely blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi fellow blogger, I enjoyed reading about your interests.

Thank You,

churchill dog insurance nodding pet

Anonymous said...

Hi I like your blog, you can visit my web page if you like.business home internet marketing workhttp://www.moneywebpage.combusiness home internet marketing work

Anonymous said...

Hello,

This is a nice way to show your world to the people, I hope you get many readers.

I'm working on a sample disaster recovery plans site. It is not easy to find good content for sample disaster recovery plans websites but I try to do my best...I also have a blog there

Anonymous said...

I was searching blogspots on Google and found yours. Good blogsite with some intersting comments!

Message is from http://buildit.sitesell.com/web-sales22.html which is refers to web hosting

Anonymous said...

Blogging is a hit or miss trip ... usually a miss ... but I did enjoy reading your blog, which I put in the 'hit' category. Thanks for look. Stop by my site if you can.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I was out blogging and found your site. It certainly got my attention and interest. I was looking for Bulbs information and even though this isn't a perfect match I enjoyed your site. Thanks for the read!

Anonymous said...

You have a great blog. i love coming across good sites! I created this one recently Make Money Online and would love it if you have a look.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a annual credit report .com site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Greetings.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a annual credit report .com site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Greetings.

Anonymous said...

A fantastic blog yours. Keep it up.
If you have a moment, please visit my photography starting a home business site.
I send you warm regards and wish you continued success.

Anonymous said...

Hi there Blogger, a real useful blog.Keep with the good work.
If you have a moment, please visit my army recruitment poster site.
I send you warm regards and wishes of continued success.

Anonymous said...

I was searching blogs,and I found yours.Please,
accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
If you have a moment, please visit my apply online scholarship site.
Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

I am here because of search results for blogs with a related topic to mine.
Please,accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
I have a atlanta job sites ga site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Best regards!

Anonymous said...

I was searching blogs,and I found yours.Please,
accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
If you have a moment, please visit my tuff pet supplies site.
Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

I was searching blogs,and I found yours.Please,
accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
If you have a moment, please visit my atlanta new bankruptcy law site.
Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

Hi Friend! You have a great blog over here!
Please accept my compliments and wishes for your happiness and success!
If you have a moment, please take a look at my tru blue pet products site.
Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a auto refinancing with bad credit site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Greetings.

Anonymous said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!
I have a best homeowners insurance companies site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Greetings.

Anonymous said...

Your blog I found to be very interesting!
I just came across your blog and wanted to
drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with
the information you have posted here.
I have a bad credit florida jacksonville mortgage
site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Best regards!

Anonymous said...

A fantastic blog yours. Keep it up.
If you have a moment, please visit my make money survey taking site.
I send you warm regards and wish you continued success.

Anonymous said...

I am here because of search results for blogs with a related topic to mine.
Please,accept my congratulations for your excellent work!
I have a bad credit loan personal usa site.
Come and check it out if you get time :-)
Best regards!

Anonymous said...

Hi Fellow! I was just searching blogs,and I found yours! I like it!
If you have a moment, please visit my make money survey taking site.
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

The recurring monthly $$$ you can now earn with this home based business idea for
just $10 per month is absolutely STAGGERING!!

Anonymous said...

Nice blog

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... »

Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read » »

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... Phentermine and birth defects Where can i find football poems Teenage trannies skinny+teens+with+big+breasts free big black mature tits blacks fucking big tits