DICK ARMEY (V.O.)Bartonville. Shit. I'm still only in Bartonville.
Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back at FreedomWorks.
I'm here four years now... waiting for a mission... getting softer...
And all the Children
Having learned from the Great Tea Party Hoax of 2009 that the Beltway media will let Conservatives get away with literally anything as long as they get to go along for the ride and take a cut of the spoils, what you are witnessing right now is a vast and poorly orchestrated effort at splunging the hell out of Don the Con by the blame-the-man-not-the-movement and the support-but-not-endorse-through-clenched-teeth-and-clucking-tongues coalitions.
And because we have all been to this shitty movie more than once, I can confidently predict the following.
That right around the time Sidney Blumenthal, Jeremiah Wright and the ghost of Saul Ailinky are gathered around the Yule log this winter helping Hillary Clinton put the finishing touches on Barack Obama's Third Inaugural Address...
...Newt Gingrich and Paul Ryan and Frank Luntz and whatever beast-that-walks-like-a-man Rupert Murdoch gets to run his American media properties will be reconvening the Caucus Room Conspiracy to game out how best to sabotage the incoming Clinton Administration, disavow Trump as a Fake Conservative and re-re-re-re-brand their same old wretched hive of Republican scum and villainy as something fresh and grass-roots-y.
Try our New and Improved Conservatism: It's Toasted!
So get on that.
And before you rebuke me for violating the First Jinxing Rule of Electoral Politics, rest assured that just after I wrote "the incoming Clinton Administration" I went outside, turned around three times and spit and cursed.
Because at this stage only a great fool would risk tempting the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing.