Friday, August 05, 2016

Tea Party II: Dyspeptic Boogaloo

Bartonville.  Shit.  I'm still only in Bartonville.
Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back at FreedomWorks.
I'm here four years now... waiting for a mission... getting softer...
And all the Children
Are insane...

Having learned from the Great Tea Party Hoax of 2009 that the Beltway media will let Conservatives get away with literally anything as long as they get to go along for the ride and take a cut of the spoils, what you are witnessing right now is a vast and poorly orchestrated effort at splunging the hell out of Don the Con by the blame-the-man-not-the-movement and the support-but-not-endorse-through-clenched-teeth-and-clucking-tongues coalitions.

And because we have all been to this shitty movie more than once, I can confidently predict the following.

That right around the time Sidney Blumenthal, Jeremiah Wright and the ghost of Saul Ailinky are gathered around the Yule log this winter helping Hillary Clinton put the finishing touches on Barack Obama's Third Inaugural Address...

...Newt Gingrich and Paul Ryan and Frank Luntz and whatever beast-that-walks-like-a-man Rupert Murdoch gets to run his American media properties will be reconvening the Caucus Room Conspiracy to game out how best to sabotage the incoming Clinton Administration, disavow Trump as a Fake Conservative and re-re-re-re-brand their same old wretched hive of Republican scum and villainy as something fresh and grass-roots-y.

Try our New and Improved Conservatism: It's Toasted!

Before then, the best hope for the republic is for every one of these people (and media parasites who enable them) to be metaphorically stripped bare and driven into the sea while their grip on power is still weak and uncertain.

So get on that.

And before you rebuke me for violating the First Jinxing Rule of Electoral Politics, rest assured that just after I wrote "the incoming Clinton Administration" I went outside, turned around three times and spit and cursed.

Because at this stage only a great fool would risk tempting the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing.


dinthebeast said...

So what's it gonna be this time? Maybe more of a 1952 vibe instead of 1773? Or is that a little too sane for the intensity of denial required for this effort?

-Doug in Oakland

Jim from MN said...

Any Republican efforts to "rebrand" themselves that requires the vetting of the FOX/Luntz/Limbaugh/Breitbart coalition is doomed to the same fate as a Palin Vice Presidency.

bluicebank said...

As astonished as I am at the utter collapse of what was once supposedly the GOP, there is a spike in my Left kidney from our fellow Liberals.

As God is my witness, I thought we Dirty Fucking Hippies were of one mind in regards honest debate. Those were the salad days of the 1970s, and then when GW Bush united us into what I believed at the time to be a national collection of Spock-like men/women who could, and would, chop up the Right's bullshit in short order ... where was I? Oh, to be in the 40s. The fifties ain't much better.

I've been kicked off of dkOs twice (internet be weird), and today I'm banned from Wonkette because I argued that a couple of Hilz' tactics were unsound, and thus should be corrected lest Donnie gets ...

Did you, Drift, ever kick me off because I commented that I disagreed with your take on Snowden or Greenwald. No. You apparently have and ego check.

I hate this election season. It brings out all the assholes. I suppose I am one of them. Sending you a case of beer for that Apocalypse clip. Because, Drift, we are so totally never getting out of Saigon.

RUKidding said...

"Saigon! Shit!"

I think the GOP will regress to right before the Civil War when Johnny Reb was gonna give the damn Yankees what for whilst keeping the slaves in their place: with their boot firmly on their necks whilst gang raping the wimminz.

It ain't gonna be pretty. We may even get nostalgic for the sheer nonsensical doofiness of the Tea BAGGERS.