Tuesday, May 03, 2016

You Won't Have Tailgunner Ted To Kick Around Any More



Tailgunner Ted cuts and runs and Carly Fiorina helps drive another enterprise into the ditch.

From the New York Times:
Ted Cruz Ends His Campaign for President

INDIANAPOLIS — Senator Ted Cruz of Texas is ending his presidential campaign, according to his campaign manager, bowing to the reality that his crushing loss in Indiana all but assured the nomination of Donald J. Trump.

Mr. Cruz, who staked his bid in the Republican race on a message of conservative purity and religious faith, had suffered through weeks of setbacks as the primary calendar reached the Northeast, where Mr. Trump significantly expanded his lead.
...
No word from John Kasich, who was last seen wrestling a breakfast skillet to a draw in Nebraska.

14 comments:

banker puppy said...

Guess he'll go back to stinking up the Senate.

Mike Lumish said...

Fiorina fails again! That one was my particular daily dose of schadenfreude.

Henny said...

Shouldn't ritualistic seppaku follow this failed effort?

Ed Cooper said...

The Senate doesn't want him either.

Paul Donahue said...

So fuck all for "a message of conservative purity and religious faith". What are all the god-bothering rubes going to do now that all their family/christian values have been unceremoniously flushed off the ballot? The base that has been groomed for this moment will now take over. I think cutting eye holes in fitted sheets might help the fat ones.

Lit3Bolt said...

Cruz is no slammed dunk in the basketball ring!

*mic drop*

dinthebeast said...

It kinda would have been fun for Cruz to get nominated and then crushed in the general, just as a fuck you to all those "we lost because our candidate wasn't conservative enough" yahoos who are so annoying every four years. Not that they would learn anything from it, they wouldn't. Just strictly for giggles.

-Doug in Oakland

Paul Wartenberg said...

Cruz can't stink up the Senate right now because those lazy bums are on another goddamn break.

Get me a constitutional lawyer willing to work pro bono. I wanna sue Congress for failing to earn their $140,000+ salaries.

RUKidding said...

Cruz can go back to his Zodiac killings. He hired Fiorina to do the lay-offs of his staff. Fiorina is delighted because next to running businesses and political campaigns into the ground, her favorite thing is handing out pink slips to the proles... who deserve it!

No doubt the Cruzer compensated Fiorina for her vast great "efforts." The other thing LieCarly is good at is fleecing whomever she's working for, so that she walks away with something very lucrative in her bank account.

trgahan said...

"What are all the god-bothering rubes going to do now that all their family/christian values have been unceremoniously flushed off the ballot?"

My working theory is that "Values" voters were behind Trump from the start because he justifies their hate, fear, and bigotry without the middle man "preacher" taking up 3 hours of their Sunday and 10% off the top.

Cruz supporters were just the few left over that actually took all the evangelical mega-church stuff seriously.

Kevin Holsinger said...

Good afternoon, Mr. Glass.

Well, I guess you can add the Cruz/Fiorina ticket to your "things my marriage to Bluegal lasted longer than" list...

...because I know you've made the list. :)

Be seeing you.

JHB said...

Once again, a candidate who claims he and his family prayed hard, and God told them he should run LOSES.

Every election cycle, the third aspect of the Trinity is the Troll-y Spirit.

Robt said...

I would enjoy nothing better than to bid farewell to Lying Ted.

It would be futile since he returns to the Senate.

When Ted stands next to Chris Cristie behind Trump on stage. Blinking "held captive" with their eyelids.
I can only ask a question I already know the answer to.


Ted, were you lying when you spoke of Trump. comparing hiTrump to Venereal disease. Or are you lying how Trump is a Great candidate now that you lost?

The Kraken said...

Can someone, somewhere finally have standing to challenge his citizenship? Or at least determine whether or not he meets the "natural born" definition to have run for president? It might be nice to have the record straight on that constitutional question for the next time a foreign born theocratic monster decides to run.