Sunday, November 01, 2015

Sunday Morning Comin' Down

One could spill a barrel of digital ink on the vastly entertaining incompetence of the presidential campaign currently being conducted by Bush Family fixers and money-men on behalf the Bush Family ficus who is trying superhard every day not to cry and go home.  Honestly, it's like watching Jerry Ford tripping and falling over and over again, except instead of stairs, Jeb! is taking a header down almost every thought to which he gives utterance.

Out of pity, one presumes, Shuck Todd gently slow-pitched marshmallows at Jeb! this Sunday morning and Jeb! whiffed each and every one of them.  My personal favorite "Gotcha!" was
CHUCK TODD: Your campaign, there was a leaked memo, 112-page memo, and there was a big chunk about why Marco Rubio wouldn't be a good nominee. And you went through sort of all of the opposition research on that. That's not a hopeful campaign tactic.
Jeb!'s response to this large piece of explosive ordnance which his campaign dropped into the middle of the race?

I din't see nuthin'.
I din't know nuthin'.
And din't nobody tell me nuthin'.
JEB BUSH:  I didn't see it. I'm focused on a hopeful--

CHUCK TODD:  It's your campaign.

JEB BUSH:  I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I don't know--

CHUCK TODD: You don't know this memo? You don't know this PowerPoint?

JEB BUSH:  No. Well, I read about it when it was leaked for sure. I didn't know about the PowerPoint. It wasn't presented--
Bobby Newport really is Jeb!'s spirit animal.

And if that weren't sad clown enough, the most revered of all the Beltway's clueless and insufferable hacks shrewdly advised Jeb! to try and be even more boring.
DAVID BROOKS: If I were him I'd lead with his strengths. And just say, "I'm boring. I'm boring. Is our problem in Washington we don't have enough boringness? No. We've got too much craziness. And so I'm going to be a sedative. I'm going to be a laxative, I guess. You know, I'm going to calm you down.
So first Jeb! should promise the unhinged Republican base that he'll put them to sleep.

And then make them poop themselves.

The classic yawn-poo-punch.


Or one could also focus in on the Xerox copy presentations made by Paul Ryan he Full Ginsburged his way up and down the dial this Sunday.  You may know him as a life-long Ayn Rand fetishist, "zombie-eyed granny starver" or the author of the Best. Suicide. Note. Ever.

But as of this week is he is also the new Speaker of the House, third in line for the presidency who plans to "wipe the slate clean" and unite his party behind the premise that Barack Obama is dishonest, lawless monster who is trying to destroy Murrica:

From "This Week..." (emphasis added):
RYAN: Yes, I think he's proven untrustworthy on this issue. He tried to go around Congress with an executive order to rewrite laws unilaterally. Presidents don't write laws. Congress writes laws. So, yes, I do not believe we should -- and we won't -- bring immigration legislation with a president we cannot trust on this issue...
REP. PAUL RYAN:   Well, legal status is what I was talking about. Look, I've written extensively about my views on immigration. I'm an open book on the subject. But by the way, on immigration, I don't think we can trust the president on this issue.

CHUCK TODD:  So you have taken--

REP. PAUL RYAN:  He tried to go around Congress with executive order.

CHUCK TODD:  You're taking it off the table?

REP. PAUL RYAN:  Absolutely. The president has proven himself untrustworthy on this issue, because he tried to unilaterally rewrite the law himself. Presidents don't write laws. Congress does. The president's proven himself to be untrustworthy on this issue. I think if we reach consensus on something like border enforcement, interior security, that's one thing. But I do not believe we should advance comprehensive immigration legislation with a president who's proven himself untrustworthy on this issue.
But really, the most important thing anyone at the Sunday Gasbag Cavalcade had to say was said by Mr. David Brooks, who explained very clearly how he and the rest of his Beltway colleagues have managed to wish away for the last 20 years the blindingly obvious fact that the Republican Party has gone completely mad (there is a typo in the official MTP transcript):
DAVID BROOKS: ...You know, I'm on my prayer rug every day saying please Trump, Carson go away, go away, go away.
To misquote the eminent Rabbi Hillel, this is the whole of the Gasbag Cavalcade.

The rest is commentary.

Go forth and study.

And while you're studying, if you are moved to Pay The Writer on this last day of my birthday fundraiser --

-- please feel free to click on the link at the bottom of this post.



bowtiejack said...

"Bobby Newport really is Jeb!'s spirit animal."

I bow before your awesomeness.

dinthebeast said...

After giving Washington a laxative, I wonder, is he planning on burying it in a shoebox? And if they're asleep, he plans on them, what, not noticing? So many boring, poopy, questions...

-Doug in Oakland

Cirze said...

Try to remember.

Keep saying it to yourself over and over.

"At the end of the day, it'll be Jeb(!). Others may 3rd party it, like Ross Perot, but it'll be Jeb(!).

And everyone who is worried that they will lose money if a socialist/communist/Democrat wins, will vote for him.


Yastreblyansky said...

Jeb! should promise the unhinged Republican base that he'll put them to sleep

May not sound like a good idea at the moment, but in the Words of the House of Republican, "Naptime is Coming."

Smut Clyde said...

And so I'm going to be a sedative. I'm going to be a laxative, I guess

So Brooks regards sedatives and laxatives as interchangeable. OK. That explains a great deal about his literary output.

DrBB said...

This word "laxative" you use. I do not think it means what you think it means.

marindenver said...

"I'm going to be a laxative I guess."

OK, I had to Google that because I couldn't believe you didn't make it up. Sadly it's true, David Brooks really said that.

Shucktodd: Well that will now trend on social media.

And it just sails over Bobo's head. He doesn't know what a laxative is and thinks comparing oneself to one is a good thing. Guess he'll find out when the doctor sends him in for a colonoscopy.