As America's leading Brooksologist, I owe it to future generations of incredulous historians to acknowledge that occasionally True Conservative David Brooks says something which causes the True Conservative acolytes of Rush Limbaugh and the True Conservative zombies of Fox News and the True Conservative meatsticks at World Net Daily (spoiler -- these all the same people: the reliable base of the Republican Party) to lose their shit.
Which, frankly, isn't much of a stretch for a mob whose primary political activity for the last 30 years has consisted of one. long, hysterical, batshit primal scream as they bounce from one manufactured Liberal "scandal" to the next.
And so, last week as Mr. Brooks was transiting between two terrible thoughts and happened to mention in passing that “President Obama has run an amazingly scandal-free administration, not only he, himself, but the people around him. He’s chosen people who have been pretty scandal-free”, no surprise that the poo in the wingnut monkeyhouse reached Snowmageddon proportions:
Because the mainstream media has not (yet) fully devolved into a mindless sewer pipe though which the Right's own paranoia and bigotry is regurgitated back to them by jowly men in suits and women with jiggly tits in the form of "news", here is what a typical World Net Daily commentor truly believes the state of the media to be:
Brooks probably was labeled "Conservative" in order to have the NY Times appear as neutral in political favoritism. That issue has flopped long ago, the NYT is as Socialist as the Daily Worker was. For those who came to life after the Daily Worker, it was the Communist Party USA's official newspaper. Since the family that owned the NY Times leaned Communist anyway, that paper assumed its Commie role while masquerading as an American journalistic treasure. Maybe in NYC, where plenty of "limousine Commies" reside, but the NYT might as well have its HQ in Moscow, Russia! The NYT is OK as a book critic and rater, but expect all leftist literature to be called "Best Sellers." NY Yankee scores can be had, weather and Wall St. results. That also can be had in the NY Times, not a Commie paper, so who needs NY Times? Answer...Leftists, Socialists, or those answering to title of Communist.
Now multiply that by 40 million and you have the modern Republican Party.
Against stupidity, the Gods themselves, etc.
However one of the serendipitous benefits of the dregs of Western civilization having their very own, fact-proof media is that -- like an ant farm -- you can actually peer inside and watch how Conservatives maintain their tribal cohesion against the onslaught of Terrible Reality by continually reinforcing the wall of their ideological panic room.
See, for the Right to continue to blot out the last 30 years of Conservative lies, failures and treason, they must continually change the fucking subject. And as I wrote back in 2009 ("Like a Virgin") --
...once the Dear Leader's reign ended, as far as people like Mrs. Abram were concerned, the natural order of mindless obedience in exchange for a smug and blissful ignorance collapsed. "Their country" was suddenly broke and fucked up for reasons that they dared not think about too much. "Their country" was suddenly awash in dirty fucking hippies, who for some reason were no longer satisfied with being cultural punching bags. "Their country"suddenly had politicians and activists who said mean things about the Dear Leader and the Republican Party...and got away with it!And worst of all, "their country" suddenly had a Scary Black Man living in their Dear Leader's pretty White House, probably having dirty, Muslim sex in the Dear Leader's sacred, Christian bed and putting his filthy, Kenyan hands all over "their county's" pure, white Constitution.So, for example, when you hear the same people who fanatically supported President George W. Bush when he famously told Iraq war critics to fuck off --"Well, we had an accountability moment, and that's called the 2004 election.""...scrap the current grandiose plans and to start over."or when you see the mobs on the Right being whipped by talk of secession or revolution or spilling the "blood of tyrants" into a nearly-pornographic frenzy, understand that what you are witnessing are the echoes of political decisions made in the wake of September 11, 2001.Political decisions that trained the Right to believe, on a visceral level, that a sufficiently bloody and horrifying disruption to the life of the country can -- if properly exploited -- wash away their eight otherwise-unforgivable years of sin and restore "their country" to its proper, wingnut default setting.That if the right sacrifices are made to the right Gods in just the right way, then they can be virgins again.
-- because the sheer accumulated tonnage of their depravity and madness, nowadays only pure, distilled Giant!Catastrophic! distractions will suffice to continue to keep Terrible Reality at bay.
Which is why it is not enough for Barack Obama to be a president with whom you have some strong policy disagreements. That simply will not do! In order to negate the Terrible Reality trying to claw its way into their dreadfort, Barack Obama must not only be Worse Than Bush (Bush? Bush who? I've never even heard of the man), he must be the Worst President in History.
By, like, a lot.
In order for the past to stay fucking well blotted-out, the only lie big enough to do the job is that one where President Obama is secretly be in service of Muslim terrorists: a foreign-born tyrant who was never legitimately elected in the first place and who spends his every waking moment working to strip you of your freedumbs and your guns so he can deliver you into the hands of Teh Caliphate!
Which brings us back to WorldNetDaily and this helpful list (made entirely out of the seven year's worth of Crazy Uncle Liberty Cap+Lock email which still paper the bottom of America's email inboxes) which they have compiled for their readers (and dumbstruck future historians) to disproves Once and For All what that horrid Commie David Brooks Said!
WND counted more than three-dozen scandals, many of which are considered impeachable offenses by(You will note that WND conveniently "forgot" ACORN, thus proving that WND is run by red-diaper Marxist finks in the pay of Chinese Commies!)
Ben Carson and the voices in my headconstitutional scholars and numerous lawmakers.
- Supplying ISIS
- Blaming the video
- Veterans Administration
- Executive orders
- Executive amnesty
- Spying on reporters
- Fast & Furious
- Hillary Clinton’s emails
- Losing Iraq
- Syria Red Line
- Muslim Brotherhood ties
- Apology tours
- The bow
- Iran treaty
- Supporting Netanyahu opposition
- Investigating Ferguson
- New Black Panthers
- Secret Service
- EPA puddles
- Suing Arizona
- Cap & Trade
- Unapproved czars
- GSA training conference
- IRS parties
- Biden harasses reporters
- Birth certificate
- Extortion 17
- HSBC / Lynch
- Miriam Carey
This is the Big Lie on which American Conservatism rests. And everyone knows it. And you can carpet-bomb them with facts from now until the last remake of Beau Geste, and they will never, ever budge an inch.
They'll die with this lie. And if they're not stopped, they'll take the rest of us down with them.